Episode 1: Fear vs Danger: Riders can improve if they know the difference
Welcome to season one of the Stacy Westfall podcast. I’m Stacy Westfall, and I’ll be teaching you why horses do what they do and action steps for creating clear confident communication with your horses. In this first season, I’ll be discussing issues that frequently affect the way that riders think.
I use a tool called the four square model. The purpose of this model is to simplify complex problems and break them down into smaller actionable pieces. The four quadrants include the rider’s mind, the rider’s body, the horses mind, and the horse’s body. Season one will focus on the rider’s mind. Today’s episode is about fear. I talk about how it is different than danger and some of the ways that it affects riders.
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Show Notes
[00:34] Season one will be about issues that frequently affect the way riders think.
[00:47] One of the tools that I use is the four-square model to simplify complex problems by breaking them down into smaller actionable pieces.
[01:05] The model is created with four quadrants which include the rider’s mind, the rider’s body, the horse’s mind, and the horse’s body.
[01:43] This first season of the podcast will be focusing on the rider’s mind. Today, I’ll be discussing fear and how it is different than danger and some of the ways that it affects riders.
[02:30] Fear is something that you experience in your mind. Danger means that you are actually in physical danger.
[02:59] Melanie writes in about having a fear of riding.
[03:51] Think about having fear and anxiety about riding.
[04:21] Fear in people’s minds is frequently because there isn’t a guaranteed outcome.
[05:08] There’s no guarantee that your riding experience will always remain the same.
[06:11] Letting fear hold us down guarantees we won’t achieve what we want.
[06:14] An email example about another horse owner not riding because of fear.
[07:18] If you really want to do something, don’t let the fear of not having a guaranteed experience stop you. Otherwise, you are guaranteeing pain.
[08:57] Even when you have fear, you will live through it and at least you know you tried.
[09:45] One of the greatest ways to learn is by making mistakes.
[10:51] Other people are also experiencing fear.
[11:07] We literally teach our horses to face their fears, because we want them to know that not all fear equals danger. The same thing is true for you.
[11:34] What is one step you can take to face your fear?
[11:54] Sharing your fear in a comment can be one small step towards facing it.
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“When fear stops you from even trying, you've already lost.” Stacy Westfall Click To TweetLinks and Resources:
- Blog post on Stacy wrote about the 4 Square model: Quickly Evaluating Problems with Horses and Riders
The 4 Square Model Stacy uses when approaching horse and rider challenges.
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WHY IS MY HORSE...?
I have been so darn blessed by you Stacy!!!?
I was blessed to be able to rescue a sweet but fearful, of pretty much everything gelding a few months back, he had pretty much no training, ( I always wanted to train, but was never given the opportunity until now, and boy what a blessing!! And to have resources like yours!! Wow? so amazing!!) but I know God was leading me to bring him home!! And I have been sooo amazed by this sweet guys heart to try even when I’m a little intimidated/fearful!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE how you explained fear verses danger!! Thank you so much for being willing to share your gift of horsemanship with us!!!?? I hope someday I might be half as good with our equine friends as you are!!? God lead me to find your DVDs and book and now your podcast!!! And I have sooo enjoyed them all!!!? keep up the great work!! God bless and merry Christmas!!!
P.s.
2 Timothy 1:7 is a favorite of mine?
How insightful! Thanks for putting everything in perspective.
I have had to face that fear of getting back in the saddle after time off due to auto injuries and autoimmune stuff a few times over the years, and I have helped others do so as well. I love that you brought up the topic! I love that you are pointing out the difference between fear and danger. It is easy to get wrapped up in fears, which is no good because horses are afraid of fear, so that doesn’t make us any safer. I always tell people who fear getting back on that they will know when they are ready. If they are feeling fear instead of ready, then they need to keep working at getting ready. Preparation, groundwork, increased communication and relationship. See fear as a tool and barometer, and use it… So it doesn’t become danger. While we can’t predict the outcome of every ride, we can influence it. Fear must be used in that way with horses. Great life lessons, not just horse talk! I love your first podcast and look forward to many more. Does anyone have stories to share about riding after injuries and time off, or is facing that fear currentl
I can identify with the podcast on Fear vs. danger. I am a senior rider (over 60) and am facing fears that are in my mind. I have ridden and owned horses over 30 years and have never had these crazy kind of irrational fears of getting hurt. So it was really neat when you side we need to face our fears just like we teach our horses to turn and face what they are afraid of. If I can expect that from my horse, then surely I can do no less! Thank you for the good info.
Perfect ?
Applies to everything in life not just horses. Although I have found that life with horses also applies to everything in life:)
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Beautifully clarifying; gently emboldening! Thank each of you amazing commentators who have graced us with your openness in sharing and, thus, facing your fear(s)! Thank you, Stacy, for cultivating such a positive culture here! It’s moving us in a very good direction. My fear: leaving comments just like these for everyone to see;)
I had a pretty bad fall on March, 5 broken ribs, broken shoulder blade, broken collar bone in 3 places, and puncture in the lung….I was horrified to get back on. He spooked I went one way, he went the other. There were so many things happening that day that should have been a key to me to pay more attention. He was tense because I was super tense from a major disagreement with my boss. I even said out loud I shoukdnt be riding today but I didnt want to waste the day….fear has played such a large roll in getting back on..it took a few months and lots of deep breathing and the realization I was afraid. Just a acknowledging I was afraid lifted a heavy weight and opened the door to facing the fear of coming off like that. Saying it out loud was the first step…
My fear is losing control of the horse while I’m on it. This podcast really helped me look at things in a different perspective! Thank you 🙂
“Not all fear equals danger.” Thanks, Stacy. You actually helped me make sense of this one.
Really neat differentiation between fear and danger. The section on the fear someone has when they get back into riding (after a layoff or medical issue) was interesting. Horses have been my life for years, from colt starting to trail riding and showing. However, after I got divorced a couple of years ago, I did become a bit more fearful when riding my young horses. The divorce left me with a 36 acre place, hay fields to irrigate and bale up, 12 horses, my home and all of the landscaping, with little to no income. My exhausting from taking care of everything (especially in the warm months when I had to irrigate and take care of weeds, etc), cut into my horse activities (and began to kill some of my enthusiasm for them). Also, I developed a low base level of fear, whispering in my ear, because I now had no one to fall back on if something happened to me–I the place, horses, dogs and cats all rely solely on me to keep them safe and fed. Very frustrating and sometimes paralyzing thoughts. To deal with some of these issues, I’ve downsized my herd (which really makes me sad), put money into things that really help cut my workload (like having someone else do the weed spraying), and I send the one or two young horses to a trainer for their first 30 days under saddle. I always ride with a helmet, though I do most of my riding alone at my place (which can make me nervous). This has all helped to settle my fear a bit. Accidents do happen, as I did have a clumsy 4 year old trip, fall and roll over the top of me one day (and this was just at just above a walk!)–thank goodness I was just brusied and not broken from that one. I have decided to downsize my place even more, and perhaps move to a small one in the upcoming year (if I can ever get this place sold). Perhaps when that happens, I’ll be able to regain more of the joy (and take away more of the fear) I have in my horses. Things do not stay the same, and I think people have to be kinder to themselves when looking at their relationship with their horses. If horses add to your quality of life, work through the fears and eventually you’ll be doing what makes you happy (perhaps not at a level previously experienced, but at least you’ll be doing something!).
Can relate to this soooo much. Lost my husband in July and have to care for 15 acres, 3 horses, 2 donkeys, hay, yard, house…. all of it on my own. Very scary some days, and other days I enjoy the challenge. I am blessed with good friends who offer to help and I know I can rely on them if I have to. But there again, I’m 61 and if I get hurt, there is no one but me. I constantly look for ways to make things easier for just one person to handle; so I don’t always have to ask for help. I want to enjoy what I have while I can, I know time flies and I’ll soon be too old to handle it on my own. I’ll downsize then, I guess I’ll have to. But until then I’m working very hard to enjoy the present and my wonderful horses.
Love the pod cast! I often have pod cast running while I work! This one is fab! Your discussion of fear vs actual danger really hit home in many aspects of my life. Kind of makes you set back and rethink a situation. Thank you!
Stacy Westfall, you are amazing, I loved this podcast and look forward to more in the future
Thanks Stacy! This is a great tool for people to step away from fear.
I’m not sure where I blog… I think I may be replying to someone else’s blog instead of creating one… I hope not. I just recently broke my patellar knee cap and I have a fear I’ll never be able to fully ride again. I didn’t opt for the surgery rather wanted to try and heal naturally. My
Surgery was scheduled for today but I cancelled it as I’m terrified of the complications that come with it. I am so defeated as I have been held up in bed for 3 weeks and have only been able to have a friend take me to the barn 3x. I miss my black beauty so much. I know he knows I’m hurt and that I haven’t abandoned him but I miss him terribly. Watching your video riding to Tim McGraw life like you are dying brought tears to my eyes I was literally balling. Then I saw you are doing inspirational pod casts and it has literally saved me from drowning in depression over my leg. Thank you for positive reinforcements and I can’t wait to listen to them all. Thank you for being such an inspiration to so many people. You can tell you have a such a strong bond with horses that I feel I have too. Although I can’t mKe people cry when I ride ?. I hope to be able to walk soon and ride this next year as my boy is waiting patiently for me at the barn. He’s lucky to be in a barn that takes such good care of him that I don’t have to worry about him at all and that sense of security is so comforting. Thanks again Stacy ❤️?
“Letting fear hold us back guarantees that we won’t get what we want.” THAT is my problem! I am afraid of falling off my thoroughbred (he is tall, the ground is hard, I don’t bounce like I used to!). I WANT to ride, but my fear makes concessions: ‘You have chores to do…’. 2019: I will face my fear and ride my Fine Gentleman! Keep it hoof side down!
I really appreciated learning about the 4 square model. It’s simple but clear, and helped me work through some of my own fears with riding. Thank you for the wonderful podcast! I’ll be sure to share it with my barn friends 🙂
I have been riding a horse in western style for 13 years. My biggest fear was galloping, I was terrified of speed and possible falls … However, one day a trainer stood in my way, and showed that there is nothing to be afraid of galloping on horseback … especially on a horse that trusts and with whom we have a bond … now I am galloping every time and I enjoy amazing riding pleasure …
Wow! Thank you so much, Stacy!! This podcast was great. I have never really thought about the difference between fear and danger. I currently have a fear of hand-walking my horse. He has been on lay-up for a few months, so his energy levels are through the roof. I always make sure to have someone with me, just in case he gets too riled up. We have been walking him with a stud chain to get him to respect us more. Any tips?
Hello Stacy! I have heard all your podcasts so far. I subscribed so I will be alerted when the next one comes out. The information you are sharing is not new to me but you have a way of making it make more sense. Can’t wait for more. Can’t believe you are nervous about doing a podcast. You are a natural! Thank you! Debbie Marcus.
Stacy, I love how you explained the difference between fear and danger with the example of horses and public speaking. Public speaking is probably one of my largest fears. I love talking to people, I consider myself quite sociable and outgoing but if I have to be center of attention and especially speak in front of people. Oh my- NO! I think everyone can see my heart pounding out of my chest. ha!
But when it comes to horses I’ve never had fear (until recently but I’ll speak in depth about that later) with horses. I would hop on any horse you told me to- where it be that I was the first person on that horses back ever to being the friend that is the “test driver” for others before they make a horse purchase.
But so it’s interesting, I have said it more than once to people, “I absolutely hate attention on myself but if you put me on a horse, I could be the center of attention all day because they’re looking at my horse and I am proud to show him off.”
For me, I think the more knowledge and information you have about something, the more confidence you build in yourself. I have more confidence when I ride because it is what I am most familiar with and know and love. I have also realized that when I had to give a speech in college, I was less nervous when I had to do a speech on my job as a vet tech because it was also something I love and have so much knowledge in.
Point being, I think it is great that so many horse people are coming to you for insight and knowledge. It is what will build their confidence with their horses, which in my theory should lower their levels of fear. Whether the fear is to hop on their horse’s back or make the choice to get back in the show ring.
“You only fail when you stop trying.”
Thank you for much insight on your horse knowledge! I learn new things all the time.
I had never really thought about the difference between fear and danger before listening to the podcast. It really makes sense. I thought what you said about training the horse to understand that fear doesn’t necessarily mean danger was really neat, and I can see how that works with my horses. It builds their confidence too. I have used your quote about “mistakes in the right direction” a lot since April. It is a great reminder that we can’t always get it right, but we can make progress as long as we continue to try and work on it.
My fear of failing my mare keep me from even trying. 🙁 so enjoyed the podcast and the encouragement.
I really liked your podcast and how you explained the difference between fear and danger. So many do not know the difference between the two. This podcast will help so many understand the difference between fear and danger and hopefully they will have a better understanding of the two thus creating a better relationship with there equine friend.
I have had horse all my life and have been pretty fearless for the most part nothing was impossible if I had done my home work but since my health has changed in many ways having to relearn that confidence has been a real struggle it is not easy even with my experience with horses. I can relate to the fear issue and very much the danger one also it can change how we do every day tasks is all our lives not just with the horses I am looking forward to your program
I truly believe it is fear that keeps one from experiencing the amazing. I love the mention Stacy makes about “finding grains of motivation”. It is so easy to fall into a routine and ignore the gnawing in your gut that is telling you to do that thing you’ve been wanting to do. Thank you for the motivational message to get out there and tackle it, whether we fail or not! Great podcast, Stacy!
I went through a time of fear, you know more of the what ifs. I was determined that my mind was not gonna get the best of me and keep me from doing what I love best…riding. I knew God had helped me find my mare, so I cldnt give up. Thankfully after forcing myself to envision my best ride w no glitches, every time out, I was able to over come. I have gone back many times and watched Stacy’s DVDs to refresh myself and check for flaws in my ground work and saddle time.
Thanks Stacy for all you do and I am one of your biggest fans.
I have had an issue with fear due to my horse acting up. I have since learned that he is PSSM 2 positive. Now that I know this I have been able to control his issues with diet and supplements. Yet I am still nervous and fearful when I ride him. Hoping I will get better with more saddle time.
Thank you for your insights. I recently and reluctantly sold my gelding but feel that he needed a more confident rider and after six years made the decision to find him and me a more compatible situation for both of us. He is doing amazing and I couldn’t be happier.
Great start for a podcast. Fear is such a limiter, but I agree that just being able to voice it is a good start. I think my biggest fear is of failing my horse. I want to be a good leader but I don’t really know what that looks like I guess. I enjoy working with my horses but it can be frustrating at times for sure. I don’t want to cause my horse stress, confuse her or ruin her chances of being a well trained, productive, happy horse!
I’m riding a young mare and have seen how silly and athletic she can be when turned out. My fear is of her potentially doing something when riding her that would get me hurt. To over come this, I feel her mind out with ground work before riding. When riding I try to stay relaxed but alway have the what if’s in back of my mind. When I feel her getting unsure or silly I’ve been lucky my muscle memory clicks in to put her to work which gets her back thinking over her reacting. Luckily this is working but hard for me to get the fear of the what if’s out of my mind when riding and staying relaxed
Great points and very gentle in your delivery! I realized I was pushing myself and my horses out of some belief that it had to be a certain way – like always training, always making progress. So I guess the fear would be a fear of failure or the judgment of imaginary others. Once I decided to spend quality time with my horses, however I wanted to, including not “working” on anything, we all relaxed and they seem so willing and eager to be with me!
Hi stacey. I didn’t know you did podcasts so I’m excited to have learned this. I also like Podcasts because you can be doing other things and listening at the same time rather than having to be glued to a screen! Anyway, your comments on fear really resonate it in me because my greatest fear is riding in front of other people with all eyes on me, being judged, maybe criticized. It seems like every time I do a class where all eyes are on me, everything falls apart and people see things how they really aren’t, except for those brief few minutes. People see me at my worst… and I mean my worst. If only they could see me when I am out casually riding with not a care in the world they would see that things are quite a bit different than in the show ring. I recognized this fear but I don’t know how to over come it really. Some might say that I just need to do it more often. I don’t know but it’s debilitating. I didn’t grow up showing like a lot of these people but I put so much energy into becoming a better horseman, so when I do fail like that in front of people I am so disappointed in myself.
This does hit home and some of the emails are similar to my personal feelings. I quit riding a few hrs ago due to health issues. My dr finally gave me the o.k to ride now and now that I can I think I am not as confident as I was plus what if my horse throws me since he has not been ridden for some time as well, I don’t bounce like I use to. All the thoughts overwhelm you and do cause you to just not try. Knowing things and doing them are so different. But you have a very good way of putting it in this podcast that makes you want to stop letting the uncertainty’s get the best of you and just try. Thanks
Thank you for this wonderful advice. I have been taking steps to reshape my fear of falling off when trying to increase my speed. I have taken to mounted shooting and it is alot to think about all while trying to race the clock. Having always ridden more of a western pleasure style speed is not my friend. I have taken steps in getting lessons from a well known barrel racer trainer in my area and she has pushed me beyond my comfort/fear zone and is helping realize that I am a good rider and I can do this! Thanks for the podcast.
I have been following you and your horseman ship for a long time…youra amazing person with horses, and can easy follow you as a female aspect..we here in Australia have great trainers but sadly are all males,
I think listening to your fear and danger, i see and can understand where im going wrong, i fear faliure buy my horses , in a way where i seem to let them down by the way i expect them to behave, i think that my negative thinking falls back through my horses, i need to trust my way and listen to my horses when they are saying ive got this,
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All parts do have to work together for enjoyment of both the horse and rider. Great way to break it down.
The difference of fear versus danger made a lot of sense. What I struggle with as I’m starting off training horses for a living is the fear of failing. I don’t always put my self out there enough because I don’t want to fail. This was super helpful to hear. It makes me want to push myself more.
I have enjoyed your regular emails with short reads full of great tips, and I am absolutely thrilled to join in on listening to your new podcast! The fact that they’re short mean they’ll be easy to “fit in” when I need them to verses not getting to listen in. 🙂 This episode was a great reminder that there is indeed a difference between fear and danger – they aren’t one and the same, though we often allow ourselves to see our fears as dangers, and blow them out of proportion. Just like working with my horses has already enlightened me to a lot of things in my life I was otherwise unaware of, they can also teach me about overcoming fears like I ask them to do for me every day! Thanks for a great episode, Stacy!
I needed to hear about facing fear.
A few years ago, my horse spooked while trail riding and luckily I stayed with him.
However, moments later, he jumped a bush sideways and I was on the ground before I knew I was falling! Landed on a I” f diameter tree and fractured 7 ribs!!!
I know I should ride my horses at different speeds, but so scared about falling off if travelling faster than a trot! So I don’t.
I also know, it is not fair for the horses! I will try harder, I promise!
I have developed a fear of getting physically hurt around my horses. Whether it be getting kicked, thrown, bit, etc….. To the point where I’ve avoided doing things with them where I know I’ve seen my horses exhibit that behavior before….. The whole turning to face your fear though spoke to me. I expect it from my horse why wouldn’t I hold myself accountable. Exspecially when I feel like I have the skill set to not only train through it but protect myself in the process.
I look forward to reading your weekly email and now I get to enjoy listening to you podcast. Isn’t technology great! Fear vs. danger… the way you explain the difference is very easy to comprehend. I love how you take real “user” stories (including your personal challenges) and talk about them. I’ve had lots of personal experiences and seen others in situations where our fears stop us from moving forward and achieving our goals. My favorite part of this podcast is when you reference training horses to face their fear…not all fear equals danger. Great job Stacy Westf
all!
Stacy, thank you SO much for sharing about your own fears in this podcast as well as correlating what we ask of our horses to our own lives. I found myself close to tears listening to the simple truths of this podcast. I have a fear of trying something and not having the resources I need to succeed or to accomplish it in the timeframe I want to. I also have a fear of not making an impact. This was just what I needed to hear today. I look forward to continuing to listen to your podcast!
Riding through fear is something every horse person experience at some point. Encouragement from you and fellow riders goes a long way to help!
I love how much you are reaching out to everyone with your blogs, weekly emails, videos, and the podcasts. Every post you can learn something new! My favorite part about this podcast is you explaining that we always try teaching our horses to turn and face their fears but most of us have fears that we need to face and address.
This is a must share with some of the ladies at the barn who fight fear with each ride. Thank you for your podcast as each one hits home and makes me think more about what I’m doing each time I’m with my horses.
Thank you for this podcast. It was really encouraging especially right now. I have been training horses for a while now but where o work I would just do part of their training before I handed them off to my boss to work. This past month I had he opportunity to have a personal client and at first I was terrified that I would let her down and let the horse down in his training. But I didn’t let fear stop me. Now she has asked me to train more of her horses! Thank you for the encouragement!!
Your podcast was easy to understand.I know for sure when I tense so does my horse big or small.Always good to step and work on the fear
My granddaughter started out with internal fear of her newly rescued horse. But she never showed it. We would tell her that she needs to work on her relationship with her horse to gain confidence. After Two years it is amazing how she has gained confidence and do has her horse. Your podcasts I believe will be a helpful tool for her to continue on with her training.
AsI our horses to face their fear and then failing to do so in our own lives… Wow… Puts things in a different perspective.
So hard to rethink fear But very necessary to accomplish. the biggest motivation for me is the realization that my “fearful” horse responds to my fear with fear. This awareness helps me get in the right mindset to ride – when I relax he relaxes –
Your podcast was very helpful in pointing out the control of mind and body for both
I enjoyed listening to the fear vs danger podcast. I fear breaking bones if I fall off and not being able to do my farming and ranching. It makes me anxious and tentative when I ride and it oftentimes makes my horse anxious and tentative.
I love how you explain the difference in fear and danger in this podcast! And how fear is just in your mind and how danger is when something is physically happening. Lots of riders and horse owners will truly benefit from this podcast!