Episode 1: Fear vs Danger: Riders can improve if they know the difference
Welcome to season one of the Stacy Westfall podcast. I’m Stacy Westfall, and I’ll be teaching you why horses do what they do and action steps for creating clear confident communication with your horses. In this first season, I’ll be discussing issues that frequently affect the way that riders think.
I use a tool called the four square model. The purpose of this model is to simplify complex problems and break them down into smaller actionable pieces. The four quadrants include the rider’s mind, the rider’s body, the horses mind, and the horse’s body. Season one will focus on the rider’s mind. Today’s episode is about fear. I talk about how it is different than danger and some of the ways that it affects riders.
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Show Notes
[00:34] Season one will be about issues that frequently affect the way riders think.
[00:47] One of the tools that I use is the four-square model to simplify complex problems by breaking them down into smaller actionable pieces.
[01:05] The model is created with four quadrants which include the rider’s mind, the rider’s body, the horse’s mind, and the horse’s body.
[01:43] This first season of the podcast will be focusing on the rider’s mind. Today, I’ll be discussing fear and how it is different than danger and some of the ways that it affects riders.
[02:30] Fear is something that you experience in your mind. Danger means that you are actually in physical danger.
[02:59] Melanie writes in about having a fear of riding.
[03:51] Think about having fear and anxiety about riding.
[04:21] Fear in people’s minds is frequently because there isn’t a guaranteed outcome.
[05:08] There’s no guarantee that your riding experience will always remain the same.
[06:11] Letting fear hold us down guarantees we won’t achieve what we want.
[06:14] An email example about another horse owner not riding because of fear.
[07:18] If you really want to do something, don’t let the fear of not having a guaranteed experience stop you. Otherwise, you are guaranteeing pain.
[08:57] Even when you have fear, you will live through it and at least you know you tried.
[09:45] One of the greatest ways to learn is by making mistakes.
[10:51] Other people are also experiencing fear.
[11:07] We literally teach our horses to face their fears, because we want them to know that not all fear equals danger. The same thing is true for you.
[11:34] What is one step you can take to face your fear?
[11:54] Sharing your fear in a comment can be one small step towards facing it.
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“When fear stops you from even trying, you've already lost.” Stacy Westfall Click To TweetLinks and Resources:
- Blog post on Stacy wrote about the 4 Square model: Quickly Evaluating Problems with Horses and Riders
The 4 Square Model Stacy uses when approaching horse and rider challenges.
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Great podcast! Fear is in everyone’s head. I especially have many fears, honestly. I don’t have just one. I was born with cerebral palsy, and because of it, it can sometimes make learning different things while riding harder for me. My fear of not succeeding, not being good enough, and failing is huge. I hate making wrong steps, but I get on to ride to make myself better. You must try to succeed. My sister’s horse, and I dont have a good reading of one another.. but I fear that Im gonna get hurt every time I ride him. I never do… but he can be a 23 yr old whacky sometimes and he’s always been that way. I just havent slways had a connection with him. My fear is there, and I have to stuff it down every ride. Just getting on him is facing my fear. My other fear is riding other horses besides my amazing mare, and getting hurt. Been hurt countless times on my legs.. dont know if they can handle anymore. I still get on other horses and ride. ? I fear if I lose my mare that I’ll maybe never want to ride again because she is the reason I ride, 100% the truth to why I’m the good rider I am today. I guess fear eats my mind, but I hide it in some ways.
“Letting fear hold us down guarantees we wont achieve what we want” Words that we can all live by in all aspects of our life. I personally have had to overcome many challenges and fears in my journey as am equestrian to get to where I am today but I will say overcoming those fears has also made me the equestrian and rider I am today. I am a plus size rider and I have always been a plus size rider. When I was fresh out of high school and just coming oit of a severe knee injury I enrolled in a four year program for equine business at a school that taught dressage and hunters. Long story short, I never got to take one riding lesson as I was basically told I was to large to ride. I had been riding my whole life at this point and owned my own horse of which I rode consistently. I had never had any issues like this before in regards to my weight and riding and I was heartbroken. I didn’t ride for over a year because my fear was holding me back, i was fearful of myself. That I wasn’t good enough to ride or even work with horses, that I had no shot of having a career with horses. I was fearful of hurting my horse of whom I had already been riding for over three years. I got an offer to apprentice to get my riding instructors licence amd started to think maybe I am good enough, I have people who believe in me I have a support system and I can overcome this. Fast forward to today, I have been a licensed riding instructor for over 10 years, I’ve helped countless people learn to ride, I have grown so much as a rider and a person because of the direction I was pushed in and I have overcome fear. My mare and I had an amazing season showing this year and brought home many blue ribbons! If I had let my fear overcome me I would not have achieved any of this and I would not have the amazing experiences, memories, and horses in my life I have today. I admit I still struggle with fear and riding on a smaller scale but overcoming such a significant fear makes the smaller ones easier to overcome. Don’t let fear dictate who you are as a person. If you are a rider in fear of riding for whatever the reason, take the steps to reclaim what once made you feel happy and free even if it takes time. My life would not be the same if I had decided to never get in the saddle again. By taking the first step to facing your fears, you take the first step to achieving greatness. Thank you Stacy for sharing this podcast, by hearing someone else talk about fear, we can only hope to put the gears in motion to face them.
My fear is the “what if”
Happens
What if I read my horses body language wrong
What if I fall off
What if my horse bucks me off
What if……
I don’t try
Maybe another day
And another and another day goes by
Hi Stacy. I think your podcast is off to a great start. Thank you for such a relevant topic that hits home with so many horse lovers, including myself. We all have fears we have to conquer and just taking that one small step of saying what that fear is helps break it down into manageable pieces. My fear of just getting back on my horse because she doesn’t stand still can be worked out with more training and patience on my part. Looking forward to your future podcasts!
My fear is doing the wrong thing. This podcast makes perfect sense to me and rings too true. I come from a perfectionist eating disorder background and fear of failure has definitely made for fear to try for me.
Thank you so much for facing your fears. I have really enjoyed your podcasts. It is great to hear someone else talking about a fear of riding. It is a bit of a taboo to talk about at the barn these days. Fear peeked its ugly head after I had my first child. Before I had been fearless! Now I have a tendency to overthink everything.
Hi Stacy!
I love your blogs and podcasts! Your quote: “when fear stops you from trying, you have already lost”, is one of my favorites because it is so true!
This podcast really impacted me since I know I’ve felt fear. There was one time I got bucked off pretty hard at work and so I doubted my ability even though I did get back on. So the next day, I asked my boss for help and I remember the feeling I had before getting back on the horse that bucked me off and I felt so weak and nervous. I still got on, but with help, I was able to work through it and had a much better ride. I think that my biggest fear is not being able to communicate well or be able to help the horses I work with. Or even with my own horse, if there’s an off day in our training, my self-doubt turns into fear that I have failed him. A part of my issue, I think, is that I do not like making mistakes, but I know full well that is how I learn. Learning from mistakes help me become better as a rider, horsewoman, and a trainer.
I have learned so much (and still am!!) from you and Jesse! Thank you so much for your wisdom!
-Bekah
A year and a half ago I left college to go work for a professional Reining horse trainer. If I had let my fear of failure keep me from taking that next step, I would have regretted it. Looking back I know that had I known all that that job entailed, I would never have taken it. However; I’m glad I didn’t know because ultimately, the experience was worth all of the hard work. I think fear oftentimes results from looking at the big picture without realizing that there are many individual steps that need to be taken in order to get there.
I have a fear of getting hurt and not being able to provide for my animals
I have lots of fears of not being good enough. Not being good enough to train or ride. It often hinders me from riding or wanting to be around horses. I see so many others that are so much better than I am. I see so many other talented riders and trainers that I get discouraged. I find myself stuck in the fear of not being good enough. This podcast is a good reminder that fear is in your mind. There is no guaranteed outcome that I will be able to train or ride well. I certainly can’t if I don’t try.
Hi Stacy, right from the first episode it seemed like you were talking right to me. I am a mature rider, I have ridden all my life until the last few years. I am going to start riding again but I find I am not as brave as I once was. Your words are very encouraging! Thank you!!
I have had to deal with fear in my riding since I really started learning two and a half years ago. I took a bad spill years ago that left me in pain for weeks after cantering that I think caused my fear. But I have come a really long way but every day I am still working to push past the fear of falling, so I thank you for this wonderful podcast.
As i got older i gained a ton of fear that has actually stopped me from riding. I am not even sure where the fear comes from… I am hoping your tips work. Thanks
After more than seven decades with horses I think of the times I’ve been fearful versus the times I’ve been in danger (many for both) and I believe the times I’ve been in actual danger are the times I wasn’t really expecting anything bad to happen. Of all the examples I could give I’ll use two that happened this year.
Riding my 17-year-old quarter horse on a wooded trail she saw an injured hawk on the ground before I did, sidestepped sharply to the right and I slipped off a new slick-seat saddle, hit the ground on my back, cracked my helmeted head and received a level 2 concussion. Within a couple of weeks I was riding her again with no qualms.
Five weeks later I approached a different horse I thought I knew well in the field to put on her fly mask. She saw me coming, waited till I was very close, swung her head toward me and as I hesitated, threw her hips at me, kicked and knocked me to the ground. Level 2 concussion number two.
That incident shook my confidence more than all the falls from bucks, runoffs and other horse accidents over the years. I’m finally feeling better about being around horses on the ground.
Hello, my name is victoria.
This is such an amazing podcast.
I love how much more knowledge this gives me. I love to ride horses they are my passion
I have fear when I ride I think that’s because I’m going to fall or the horse I ride is going to spook. But everytime something that has happened turns out okay. Danger on the other hand. Well I’m always in danger when on a horse. Horses are my passion and I will always ride.
I have so much that I can write but my phone is literally about to die and my charger isn’t working!
Anyway thank you for this.
I have overcome much fear from working with horses. Thank you for sharing this.
The older I get the more fear of getting hurt I have.
This podcast spoke to me so strongly. Within the first 30 seconds I thought “this is what I need to hear”, then something sounded familiar… this is the most powerful response I could have received! You are so right, if you really want to do something, don’t let the fear of not having a guaranteed experience stop you. Otherwise, you are guaranteeing pain. I’ve started spending time with my “pasture puffs” because I’ve been suffering without them long enough. It has been very rewarding and I wish I hadn’t let fear get in the way for as long as it has. Thank you so much!
I still have a fear of getting hurt after multiple horse accidents in my life. But it is not only that. I think part of my fear being good enough to teach my horse what he needs. I’m definitely gonna continue listening to your podcasts. Thanks so much for them.
I think I’ve always had some fear of riding as a young adult because I I felt like I l lacked the skills necessary to handle the horse in an emergency. However, then I got a great little mare I put lots of miles on. She was pretty green and probably should have terrified me but we were just a great match. We learned a lot together and we knew each other very well. I was confident in her and she was solid and reliable enough that my fear got “better” for years. I only realized that the underlying fear was still there when I had to retire her.
Excellent podcast Stacy about the Fear vs Danger aspect especially in relation to horses. Fear can be so debilitating that it will stop us in our tracks even from getting the small steps of achievement. Once our minds take over we tend to think of the worst and what could or might happen. Working in safety regulation I note the similarity between Fear vs Danger and Risk vs Hazard. The risk is our fear – we assess a situation and if fear takes over then the probability of a serious event occurring is higher. The hazard is the horse or the surrounds that may cause the horse to react and consequently raise the risk or fear factor in the handler. Unfortunately when we feel fear our horse picks up on this and consequently the risk of harm is raised. How do we overcome our fears – for me it’s been having a wonderful Instructor who has helped coach me to be a better leader for my horse and also to learn to breathe and relax and smile when he (the horse) does a wobbly – this has helped to diffuse situations, keep me grounded and safe, and calm my horse.
Hey Stacy! Please keep podcasting forever! Lol ? my fear started with my best friend got in a horse related accident and nearly died. I was about 9 years old at the time. It scares me to death to this day. This podcast helped me understand the regret I will have if I let fear stop me from riding and training my horses with the drive I have. Fear is a lack of Faith and we don’t want that. So thank you for the encouraging words! ~Olivia
I totally understand fear being in your mind! I have these moments on occasion when I think about getting on a horse, whether it’s one I’ve ridden a thousand times or never. I take some deep breaths and remind myself that I have the skills to stay as safe as I can. I don’t take chances and I wear a helmet every time I swing a leg over a horse. Horses are my passion and my livelihood, and I don’t want to let my fear and anxiety get in my way. Thank you for showing me that I’m not alone!
This podcast kind of reminds me of how anxiety affects me in my life. For example, getting up in front of people and sharing my thoughts and beliefs. It’s not a life threatening experience, but your brain creates the worse possible situations and tells you that it’s not worth it because of the possible outcome.
I really loved this! I get so fearful around high strung horses, especially my friends Saddlebreds. I know they’re really nice horses, and that a beginner like me can handle them both on the ground and in the saddle, but when they start getting excited is when my confidence starts to waiver a bit. I LOVE horses! I always have. Last summer I took a tumble off of her Quarter Horse and bit the dust. Luckily, I was wearing a helmet and got off the ground with just a few scuffs. I was shaky getting back up in the saddle. I held a tighter rein when we were walking back to her barn. That’s when I realized that I really needed to get a grip on my fear. Thank you so much for writing this!
Hi Stacy I loved your podcast and am looking forward to more videos and podcasts from you! I own a 6 year old palomino mare and am 15 years old. I got her when she was a yearling and have done most of the training on her myself with the help of coaches along the way. My fear was always that I wouldn’t fit in with the kids my age because I didn’t have the well-trained horse like everyone else. But I have learned so much by training my little mare and she has come a long way especially in the past year. I look forward to your email every week and thank you for sharing your wonderful knowledge!
Not only this blog I found incredably helpful, but also the comments of all the fellow horse-lovers! Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts. It helps, to see that we all have common issues.
I feel that I am letting my horse down, if fear prevents me from training him properly. This helps me to keep on working to try to overcome anxiety, to do it for him. Thanks for this great podcast, Stacy!
I am recovering from a broken leg and ankle and surgery. Although the accident was not riding or horse related I know I will have some fear getting back into the saddle. Fear of re injuring the leg, of not having the physical ability to ride and confusing my horses with tenseness or muddled signals. I am looking forward to listening to your podcasts and to reading comments that others post. I believe in them I will find some support in knowing that others are going through similar issues, and through your advice I will find some ways to overcome my own.
I have learned a lot from horses. And having no or less fear is one of the most important things when it comes to horsemanship
This podcast was spot on!! It helped me so much to hear others have similar fears or situations. I’m just getting back in the saddle from a two year long break from riding due to a horse accident. I fractured my pelvis on a horse and it was terrifying to me to not just ride, but to ride a horse that might give me an isssue in new situations or act nervous. My brain switches to thinking I might come off again. This podcast really breaks down fear and gives me tools to think more clearly about what is happening…gives me more control of my fear. Doesn’t let it railroad me. Love the idea of this podcast. I will definitely be a new listener tuning in. You’re awesome Stacey. I actually saw you at a horse show in the Summer and wanted to approach you to say hello and thank you for your wonderful training tools, but hated to bother you…lol Thanks again for helping riders by giving them great tools.
Loved the podcast, and you just admitting fear of podcasting gives me strength to admit my fear and make a plan to face that. I have five horses and three that we are confident riding , the other two there are issues with. One in particular has problems understanding the bit and stopping , this brings up fear in me , so I’ve stopped riding him. I really need to work on that , time can be hard to set aside as well, because i like to ride my favorite horse the most ? and there’s only so much time. How to juggle everything?
When fear stops you from even trying is we’re in at and I do feel like I’ve lost.
So happy you are podcasting!!! I’m an avid podcast listener during my commute and any time I can learn something horse related is time well spent!
This was a great way to start! So many people (including me) have a fear of failure or just falling a bit short. Honestly we really worry to much about everyone else and what they think instead of what we should be worried about… our relationship with our horse.
I’ve been through a good amount of lessons where I was really trying to listen to and impress the trainer without even considering my horse. (It got me bucked off during a lesson.) After a lot of reflection and searching different training techniques I have decided it’s never a “black and white” situation. There are different combos of horses & riders and successful training techniques can vary greatly.
With that said, the fear of failing will stop you in your tracks. Fear is a liar… you are guaranteed a loss if you never even try.
My fear began after one of my good friends was killed in 2014 when her WB she was re-training went over backwards with her. I have great anxiety anyway, but since then it has transferred to my riding, which I have done for 50 years. Medication for anxiety has helped greatly. I am mostly afraid of falling and getting seriously injured.
I’ve been riding off and on for almost 50 years. Now that I’m approaching 60 I do have a fear of coming off my horse and getting hurt. I’ve been trying hard, each time I ride, to not think about what could go wrong but to stay positive and enjoy the ride and the time with my horse. I hope to be riding for many more years to come. Thanks for the encouragement Stacy!!
Both fear and danger are bothering me with regard to training my mare – she is a much hotter horse than I hoped for when I bred her dam to a wonderful minded stud. But I trained quite a few young horses many years ago, so I really need to convince myself that I can do this.
I really love this comparison. I shared it today with one of my riders who is weakened by chemo and is now afraid to canter. I think it will really help her realize that what is in her head impacts what happens in her life.
I especially appreciate your enthusiasm and restraint. You obviously have so much to share and a plan to share it but you keep yourself on subject. Well done
I too am a Senior rider and am finding fears that I never had before. I found another rider with similar fears and we can discuss our fears and support and encourage each other. I am working on not letting fears become dangers.
I think I get so worried about hurting my rescue that I allow that ear to hold us both back. I used an ill fitting saddle on him and ended up bucked off and out of commission for a while…I think he knows and takes advantage too!
Fear: I now realize that all of my postponments have been ‘fear based’ instead of ‘time based’. I kept putting off getting back in the saddle after an incident, telling myself that I just didnt have time “today”. That was really just an excuse to kick the can to the next day. I realize that now after this podcast, and fully facing myself and fear head on. Thank you for pointing out that we can in fact have positive outcomes. We just have to be truthful to ourselves and our horse!
One of the greatest ways to learn is by making mistakes. Wow. That spoke to me. It’s the kinda thing I’ve always known, but never processed and internalized. Also, the way you compared fear to actual danger is something I’ve never really thought of. My fear doesn’t always mean I’m in danger. Nothing is certain! These are great episodes. Thank you so much for doing them.
This was so helpful since I have had hip surgery just weeks ago I’m wanting to get back on my horses but at the same time I’m a little uneasy as the time gets closer to when I’m aloud on.
Thank you. This was so pertinent to me as an older rider as my fear has become directly proportional to my age. It encourages me to keep trying.
I am terrified of being run away with! My non-equestrian family went on the trail ride when I was about 8 years old. Something spooked the horses and they all took off. Of course my sisters and my screams didn’t help the situation. I did not come off but ever since have been terrified of any kind of speed on a horse. Six years ago my husband and I purchased our first horse and began our equestrian journey. Today we own a 10 acre little farm and have 3 horses. I have come along way with my fear. 6 years ago I actually would cry I was so scared even at a walk. We own 3 VERY safe horses.My current riding partner is a 19 year-old retired police horse veteran with 14 years of service. I study every opportunity I get. I’ve taken as may lessons as possible and have come a very long way, but I continue to be afraid to ask for the canter. Help!
I love this. I experience this on both levels. I have taken some significant falls due to bucking with a horse I have had a year now. I never know when its coming but in a little over a year now it’s been 4 times. Each time it has broke me down mentally as well as physically as a rider. I have just sent him to a trainer and I hope we can get on track as a team. I am 52 years old and joined a beginner drill team last year. I have had many awesome rides doing drill on my horse but going into our second year I will have to up our cantering and that is part of our problem. I dont want my fear stop me from continuing something I truly enjoy.
Your advice is so re-assuring to a 65+ rider who has not been in the saddle for quite a few years. I find singing to myself and my gelding sure helps us breath and stay relaxed. Thank you very much for all of your advice in helping me become a safer rider.
I am so excited Stacy has begun podcasting! I listen while doing my horse chores. I’m all caught up. Waiting for new episodes!
Yay! They will be coming out on Wednesdays after this launch period!
I loved this podcast and can’t wait to listen to the others!!
This is true in so many ways, I want to move forward with my horse this new year, and get my small business license, I have been putting off because of fear of failure
Thank-You so much Stacy I love listening to you giving great advice. This episode hit the nail for me because I was injured in a horse training accident in 2003 when me and my husband trained Standardbreds on the race track. I like Melody in the podcast had 2 major surgeries on a broken hip (I had a broken hip, femur on the right leg including bone grafts and a fracture in my left knee that required surgery also) I had just started walking 6 months post surgery when the hardware broke on my hip and had to face another repair on the first day of summer that was tough. I had previously ridden my horses and enjoyed it very much I had to sell my quarter horse after my accident because we had too many for my husband to take care of while I recovered. A year ago I got back on the horse I was afraid not of getting injured again but that it would not feel the same so this podcast hit home. I do not feel the same when I sit on a chair or in my truck so I was concerned that I would have the same skill to ride my horse. let me tell you it was amazing and it felt like I had not missed a day ridding! My husband and I have bought young horses because we enjoy the experience of training them and we have watched all of your series with Weaver and Jac. I have many comments to share and have wanted to write you and thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. Thank-you Stacy from an old enough to know better but do it anyhow 53 year old crazy horse woman, Janice. ps I have many stories about our experience’s with our young horses.
I have stopped training horses because of an accident I had two years ago. I took my time breaking a 10 year old brood mare. She would let me ride her one day and be crazy the next. This particular fall at age 65 beat me up pretty good. (Broken thumb, ribs and stitches) I was fearful to get back on that particular horse and sold her. That same fear made me scared that I would have another fall off my other horses. Now two years later I am relaxed and pleasure riding and camping. Fear can really ruin your fun, but get back on and have confidence to ride again.
I am a senior rider and am more fearful now of getting injured. I wear a helmet and even bought a vest (which I hate) but worry about serious injury at my age. No longer a fearless 20 year old! But I cannot imagine not ridjng anymore and try hard not to transfer my fear to my horse.