Not Just Another Goal: Your Path to Meaningful Progress

If you’re like many adult riders I know, you’ve probably felt that slight hesitation when someone asks about your riding goals. Not because you don’t have them—you do. But how do you explain that what you really want is a deeper connection with your horse? Or that you’re seeking that elusive feeling of true partnership? Traditional goal-setting approaches often leave us feeling stuck when our hearts are yearning for something that can’t be measured in ribbons or checked off a list. The truth is, these relationship-focused aspirations aren’t just valid—they’re often the foundation of our most meaningful progress with horses.

Understanding Our Unique Challenge

The challenge with these types of goals isn’t their importance—it’s their seeming resistance to traditional goal-setting methods. How do you measure “better connection” with your horse? When have you achieved “more confidence” in the saddle? These aspirations don’t fit neatly into traditional goal-setting frameworks, yet they often represent the heart of what we’re truly seeking in our horsemanship journey.

A Different Approach: The Power of Themes

Let me share a refreshingly different approach to goal setting, one that particularly resonates with adult riders: the concept of yearly themes. In my experience working with adult riders over the years, this method offers a way to bridge the gap between our deeper aspirations and tangible progress.

The Three-Step Process

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1. Identify What You’re Seeking to Learn
Begin by reflecting on what you truly want to learn or develop this year. Many riders find their theme within these common areas:

Connection (deepening your partnership or improving your ability to read your horse)
Confidence (building trust in yourself or helping your horse feel more secure)
Relationship (building trust, improving communication, or deepening partnership)
Enjoyment (rediscovering joy, embracing the process, celebrating small wins)
Presence (staying focused, being more consistent, showing up fully for your horse)

Your theme might emerge from recent experiences with your horse, challenges you’re facing, or long-held desires. The key is that it should connect to who you are and how you think and feel, rather than just what you do.

2. Choose Your Theme Phrase
Within three days of reflection, select a phrase—or let it select you. Here are several proven formats to help you craft your theme:

Start with “The Year of…” followed by a powerful word:

“The Year of Patience”
“The Year of Trust”
“The Year of Discovery”
“The Year of Connection”

Or begin with an action verb paired with an outcome:

“Building Partnership”
“Deepening Trust”
“Growing Confidence”
“Creating Joy”

You might prefer a complete statement:

“Partnership Before Performance”
“Trust the Journey”
“Progress Over Perfection”
“Listen, Learn, Grow”

Remember, your phrase doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else; it just needs to resonate deeply with you and your journey with horses. As you’ll see in our next example of “The Year of Patience,” your understanding of your chosen phrase will likely evolve far beyond your initial interpretation.

3. Commit to Daily Connection
The magic happens through consistent engagement with your theme.

This could be as simple as writing your phrase at the top of your daily riding journal or setting a phone reminder for two minutes of reflection each day. The key isn’t the length of time spent reflecting, but the consistency of connection.

Making It Real: Themes in Action

Consider the experience of one adult rider who chose “The Year of Patience” as her theme. Through her journey that year, she discovered that patience was something vastly different from what she’d initially imagined. Rather than just quiet acceptance or passive waiting, she found that true patience had two sides: the gentle art of being present and unhurried, but also “a strong, tough resolution in the midst of adverse circumstances.” This powerful redefinition—patience as both gentle wisdom and iron in the soul—transformed how she approached every aspect of her horsemanship.

The Power of Opposition

One crucial aspect of working with themes is considering their opposites. For instance, if your theme is “Adventure Awaits,” you might discover that some days you actively resist adventure—and that’s okay. This wrestling match with your theme often leads to the deepest insights. You might start the year thinking “adventure” means trying new disciplines or traveling to shows, only to discover that adventure can also mean finding new depth in your regular schooling sessions or seeing familiar challenges through fresh eyes.

Practical Application in the Arena

Let’s say you’ve chosen “Building Connection” as your theme. Rather than feeling frustrated when your horse offers unexpected responses during training, you might start seeing these moments as opportunities to deepen your understanding of connection. How do you maintain that sense of connection when things aren’t going as planned? What does connection look like during challenges versus during smooth sailing?

Making It Work for You

The key to success with this approach lies in personalization. Your theme should be:
– Stated positively
– Meaningful to you personally
– Open to evolution as your understanding deepens
– Touched upon daily, even if briefly

Remember, the power isn’t in picking the perfect phrase—it’s in the ongoing exploration of what that phrase means to you and your horsemanship journey.

Beyond the Barn

While your theme might center on your relationship with your horse, you’ll likely find it influences other areas of your life as well. When I chose “Focused Intensity” as my theme, I initially thought I’d be applying it to better time management—finding a better balance between time ‘on’ and time ‘off.’ Then, two weeks into January, I broke my dominant hand in a car accident. Suddenly, my theme took on new meaning as I discovered that even simple tasks like getting dressed or feeding myself required focused intensity. This crossover effect often deepens our understanding and application of the theme in unexpected ways—sometimes through challenges we never could have anticipated.

Moving Forward

As you consider implementing this approach, remember that the goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress and deeper understanding. Your theme might feel uncomfortable at times, or you might resist it entirely for periods. These moments of resistance often signal that you’re on the verge of a breakthrough in understanding.

Start Your Journey

Ready to begin? Here’s your action plan:
1. Take the next three days to reflect on what you’re seeking to learn or develop in your horsemanship journey
2. Choose a theme phrase that resonates with you, even if you can’t fully explain why
3. Set up a simple system for daily connection with your theme
4. Trust the process, knowing that understanding will deepen over time

Remember, this approach isn’t about replacing traditional goal-setting methods—it’s about creating a foundation that gives those specific goals more meaning and staying power. By connecting with your theme daily, you’ll find yourself naturally moving toward your deeper aspirations, even as you work on specific skills and objectives.

The beauty of this approach lies in its flexibility and depth. Whether you’re working through confidence challenges, seeking deeper connection with your horse, or looking to rediscover joy in your riding, a well-chosen theme can serve as both compass and companion on your journey.

In the end, the most powerful themes often aren’t the ones that sound impressive to others, but rather the ones that speak to your heart and your personal journey with horses. Trust your instincts, choose your theme, and prepare to discover new depths in your horsemanship journey.