Episode 333: The Rider’s Mind – The Critical Balance Between Knowledge and Meaning

Episode 333.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Episode 333.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker1:
Your ability to see the horse’s viewpoint clearly relies on you first cleaning your own lens. You’ve got to see your own viewpoint clearly before you’ll be able to truly understand theirs.

Speaker2:
Podcasting from a Little cabin on a Hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy’s goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Speaker1:
Hi, I’m Stacy Westfall and I’m here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your own horses. Today I’m continuing a series where I explore the four quadrants that I use when I’m looking at challenges. So those four are the rider’s mind, the rider’s body, the horse’s mind, and the horse’s body. In this episode, we’re looking at the rider’s mind. This quadrant covers two key areas your information and your thoughts, either helping you or distracting you. Often when we think about our minds, we think about learning and knowledge. So let’s start there. There are times when you are going to run into challenges with your horse, where you truly just need a piece of information. In this area, I see it breaking down into two sections. Number one true knowledge gap. Number two scattered or incomplete knowledge. Let’s talk about a true knowledge gap. This is where you have actual missing information. It’s factual and it’s easily solvable by learning something new. I see this kind of knowledge gap showing up in two ways. The first is physical skills and the other is interpreting your horse’s body language. Do you remember the example of me trying to lead Ember into the stall back in episode 331? If not, you can go back and listen to that because they’re going to tie together here. I’m going to use that same example here again, because even something as simple as leading can reveal these challenges.

Speaker1:
The physical skill set in the leading situation would be the skill of being able to feel the horse stop and in that moment, respond immediately as you would choose if you knew it was coming. Your body will reflect what you believe. The end goal is to align your belief with your physical response. Now, when you’re learning, there’s going to be a gap, but as long as you know what you’re aiming for, that gap will close with practice. So in this example, I believe that when I’m leading a horse, if they suddenly apply pressure to the rope, I want to be Be consistent in my feedback. So in this case, Amber was following me towards the stall with slack in the rope and then suddenly there was not slack in the rope. When Amber stopped, it did not jerk me to a stop, because my hands are trained to be holding the rope in a way that allows me to immediately let the rope slide just that little bit, and I begin holding, let’s say, 5 pounds of pressure. My hands might only slide an inch or two, but it’s not a jerky motion and it’s also not a release. Again, in this case, I was not expecting Amber to do this, so I immediately let my hand slide, assumed the 5 pounds of pressure, and turned around to face her, but I kept the 5 pounds of pressure. 5 pounds of pressure is not going to pull an 800 pound horse into the stall, but it is consistent feedback.

Speaker1:
Ember did not go backwards, but if I am holding on to one that does, my goal would remain the same to hold 5 pounds of pressure. If I’m leading a horse and they stop and then they start running backwards, I don’t try to be a wall that tries to hold an 800 pound horse because I will fail. My choice, my rider’s mind. My belief is that my job is to hold the 5 pounds of pressure. That’s my side of the conversation. That’s my answer to her question. Do I really need to go into the stall? That’s a physical skill. That’s possible because of a decision I made in my mind and a belief that I hold, and I still had to practice it to get the muscle memory. Oftentimes, riders don’t have this level of clarity, and that’s what I’m calling a knowledge gap. Now the second thing I put into this category was having scattered or incomplete knowledge. I actually think this is more prevalent now than maybe any other time because of the internet. This makes access to information insanely quick, but it also makes it easy to unknowingly create a Frankenstein training program. Mismatched pieces from different sources that don’t really fit together yet. This doesn’t mean you don’t have knowledge, it just means that you might have knowledge gaps. A very common way that this happens is when somebody watches a technique used with a higher level horse.

Speaker1:
I call it elementary, high school and college. So in this example, we can say that maybe you watch somebody who’s training a higher level horse high school or college, and then you go try that same technique with an elementary level horse. The knowledge might be valid, but not appropriate or useful for a less experienced horse. But it clearly worked when you saw it demonstrated, and you might even be executing it It correctly. But if it’s scattered or incomplete because you’re applying it to a horse at a different training stage, you’re not going to get the results shown in the video. I often see riders try something new, and when it doesn’t work, they then go back to the very beginning. And this will work if the horse needs to be at the very beginning. But eventually, if you keep going back to the beginning, and the reason you can’t move forward is because you have scattered or incomplete knowledge, the horse will eventually get bored with the basics. But staying in elementary school feels safe for your mind. It feels familiar for your body. But just like with a driver’s ed student, staying in the parking lot too long has its own consequences. Let me introduce you to an analogy that I like to use the driver’s ed student and the instructor in this case.

Speaker1:
Your horse is the student and you’re the instructor. If the student driver is nervous about going through town. You might keep going back to the parking lot to practice driving through cones, but odds are the student will eventually get excellent at cones and they may still feel unsure about driving through town. Can you see where returning to the foundation seems like a good idea, but if you look at it in this example, it also points towards the idea that you could get stuck in the parking lot. Of course, there are lots of steps that we could take to help the student build confidence, but my main point here is that you are the instructor and the horse is the student. And at some point there will be a limit to what you can do. By returning to the foundation again, they could get very good at driving through the cones. What I often see with horses is that they begin to respond in a way that’s similar to a driver’s ed student that would be required to drive in the parking lot for, let’s say, three months. At some point, it’s not only nonproductive, it’s boring. So we end up back in the horse’s Mind episode, with the idea of a hotter or a colder horse responding differently. And yes, go back to the cones in the parking lot. But remember, you have to go forward at some point too. Here are some more of my beliefs.

Speaker1:
If you believe going back to the foundation is needed, then do it. When the foundation work gets to a, B minus or B+ level not an A, but just a B minus or a B+ level, it’s time to introduce the next concept up. Your training should have stair steps built into it where the next concept up solidifies the previous concept. That means when you get to a B level of work, then you begin the next level of work, which will actually make the lower level work better. Let’s look at this in dressage for a moment. There’s a long standing saying that you should be training the next level higher than you’re showing. That’s the same thing I’m saying here. The next level above is what’s going to. Stretch you and actually improve the level below. So if you’re showing in level one you should be schooling at home. Level two at the beginning of the episode, I said the writer’s mind has two challenges information and then your thoughts either helping you or distracting you. If I were going to summarize the information or knowledge area of the writer’s mind, I could put it all into one word. Enough. Do you have enough information to go complete a basic version of what you want to do safely? If you can answer yes to this, go give it a try. The first goal is safety for both of you, and the second goal is to start working towards B minus work.

Speaker1:
Maybe your first attempt will be a B-minus. Or maybe it will be a D. But if you have a plan and you go execute and you get a grade of a D, you will now have more information than before you tried. People often forget that learning what doesn’t work is part of the learning process. Ouch. Can you feel that learning? By learning what doesn’t work? How attractive does that sound? Yeah, it’s exactly how children learn so much of what they do now, especially as adults. We avoid this. We avoid this because your mind is actually wired to protect you. Your brain is constantly scanning for danger, problems or things that you might have missed. This makes sense if you’re thinking about survival. So anytime you feel your brain searching for dangers or problems, remember that’s normal. My brain does it still? But I think of it as a superpower. Instead of resisting what my brain comes up with, I go with it. So if my brain offers, this horse might spook, I think. Yes, it could. And here’s how I’m going to prevent it, or here’s how I’m going to handle it. I use this to my benefit, and I’ll bet this is a skill that you use somewhere in your own life. Maybe you’ve encountered a problem while cooking and now you have a solution for if that happens again.

Speaker1:
Or maybe you encountered a challenge at work, and now you have a better idea for how you’re going to handle it if that happens again in the future. When your brain offers up worries or doubts or second guessing, it isn’t actually trying to sabotage you. It’s trying to protect you. One of the sneakiest ways that this shows up between horse and rider is in a desire to seek approval. And this brings me to one of the most important mindset concepts in this entire quadrant. Would you rather be liked or understood? Now, I’m actually not saying they’re opposites, but when you lead with the desire to be liked, clarity often takes a back seat. Go back to the driver’s ed teacher. Imagine a driver’s ed teacher who’s more concerned about being liked than about being understood. They’d probably speak softly and avoid any kind of corrections and hesitate to give firm feedback. The student might be more comfortable in the moment, but they’re also probably going to be more confused, less prepared, and possibly less safe. It’s the same with your horse. I love Brene Brown and she says clear is kind. Unclear is unkind. She explains that clear communication is essential for building trust and strong relationships. Burnett also says people often avoid being clear, thinking they’re being kind. But this can actually be unkind and unfair, leading to emotional exhaustion and misunderstandings. This is just as true with horses.

Speaker1:
Your desire to be liked is human and understandable, but your horse needs you to be clear because clarity is what builds trust and strong relationships. If I had to pick the biggest challenge inside this quadrant, it would not be the lack of knowledge that so many writers reach for. It would be this your mind is a meaning making machine. Your mind wants to create a story and meaning everywhere because it’s the way your brain functions. Yet we often make up these stories without acknowledging the difference between the stories that we’re making up and the facts. That’s why I said ouch a minute ago when I was talking about learning what works and what doesn’t work. The reason it sounds like ouch is because of the meaning we assign it when kids are learning and making mistakes. The meaning we assign it is their kids. Obviously they’re going to make mistakes. Adults often assign meaning differently. This is a real quote from a student of mine shared with permission. It says I’d always dreamed of horses as one does, but I had a lot of reasons why it just wasn’t in the cards for me. It was too late. My life was too full. It was too expensive. I was too old. It was silly. I wouldn’t be able to figure it out. Even when I started taking lessons, I wasn’t sure that I would end up owning a horse. I just wanted to see if this little niggle in the back of my mind was worth paying attention to.

Speaker1:
But a niggle became a joy, and a joy became a passion. And before I knew it, I had my very own first horse. It’s funny because while the childlike wonder I have with horses brings me immense joy, I absolutely loathed feeling childlike in my knowledge or performance. It’s cute when a nine year old can’t keep her balance, but it’s embarrassing when a 40 year old woman bounces around. I hated it when people watched me riding, certain they were pitying the middle aged mom who needed a hobby when I’d struggle with a new skill or with bodily awareness. I’d replay the same old stories. It’s too late. You can’t learn this stuff at your age. You can’t get good at something when you started at this point. Whew. And this is just a small part of her experience, but it captures something many writers feel. If you want to see the full version, it’s in the email sequence that you’ll get after taking the quiz. This is what I want you to remember when you’re writing and your mind is noisy with doubt, fear, and remembering mistakes. It’s like turning up the volume on a static filled radio, and you will miss the opportunity to guide your horse clearly in the moment. Your mind doesn’t just take in the information it creates, meaning. It writes a story about what the horse is doing and why.

Speaker1:
And if that story isn’t grounded in clarity, it can send you spiraling. Even when the horse is just asking a question back in the episode about the horse’s mind, I said, our job in that quadrant is to look from their viewpoint. Your ability to see the horse’s viewpoint clearly relies on you first cleaning your own lens. You’ve got to see your own viewpoint clearly before you’ll be able to truly understand theirs. It is very important that you pick your role in the story that your mind is making up. Let me put this into an example for you. I finally was able to take Ember on her first trail ride the other day. In this story, I want you to picture me as the driver’s ed teacher making a plan. And the first part of my plan for my student driver, Ember, was to evaluate her responses in the arena. So I knew my plan was to go out on the first trail ride up the hill behind my house and back. This would be the equivalent to having my driver’s ed student go drive through a small town. This meant as we rode around in the indoor arena, I was evaluating her skills on that particular day. Everything felt normal, so I decided to go ahead. This was the moment that I said, okay, now we’re gonna pull out of the parking lot and head to town in Ember’s case.

Speaker1:
That meant that I simply rode out of the indoor arena into the driveway. Now, mind you, this is the door and the driveway that she’s led in and out all the time. But as soon as I stepped outside the door riding her instead of leading her, she immediately felt more awake. She had more pep in her step. Her ears were pricked up. She was still responsive to my reins and my legs, so I continued. But I could feel that shift in her. I steered her up to the second part of our driveway that goes up to a upper parking lot, and my plan was to ride past our dumpster and the horse trailers up to the top of the hill behind the barn. But when we reached this spot, what I’m going to call the path Less Traveled, she hesitated and then stopped. This would be the equivalent of the driver’s ed instructor saying, now we’re going to turn right and we’re going to merge into that traffic. And this hesitation, this stopping, was the student asking, are you sure? Now listen, because this gets into more of a dance. She offered me several other options. She physically offered to turn right to back up, and then she asked about turning to the left and that was a little bit stronger. None of these were fast, but they were all these little questions that she asked with her body.

Speaker1:
And this right here is an example of a horse having a conversation with a rider. She’s saying, are you sure? And I’m saying yes. And then she’s saying, how about we go to the right? And I’m like, no, how about if we go up here? And then she says, what about if we take a step back and I say, no, I still really want to go up here. And then she says, how about going to the left? By the way, all of those things that she offered are skills I had been working on in the arena. In the arena I had been working on right spins, left spins, rollbacks, backing up when we got to that spot and she didn’t want to go forward, she started offering me her preferences. She started showing me her thinking, and in doing so, she was also showing me which Aids or cues were the weakest. Let’s think about it again from the human driver’s ed standpoint. When I took driver’s ed, most of the time if a student was making a mistake, they were generally going slower than necessary. This also happened when I was teaching my own kids to drive. This is probably because in their mind, everything was happening fast, but it’s also because that’s the first thing the teacher focuses on. Do you know how to stop the car? Ember’s weakest cue is her forward motion cue. This would confuse a lot of people who have seen Ember when I’ve been working her in the arena, because she lunges easily.

Speaker1:
She prefers going faster. She likes to go faster and longer. She actually is very high energy. She loves to jump and do airs above the ground. She’s a high energy horse. So why is her forward cue the weakest? Because she usually offers it. Which is actually completely different than being cued for it. Especially when she’s being cued for it in a location where she doesn’t want to go. But let’s get back to the rider’s mind. The rider’s mind quadrant is not about silencing your thoughts. It’s learning to be able to sort through them in that moment with Ember. I’m not worried about whether she likes me or not. I’m more focused on offering her clarity and support. I’m reading the situation, recognizing that for her, this is a stressful moment, but also recognizing that for me, this is me stretching her comfort zone and that stress is within the stretch of the comfort zone. She has been equipped for this in the arena. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is totally capable of driving slowly through this small town. The better you get at being able to recognize where you stand in the story and your beliefs, where your knowledge is complete enough to do this task, or where you have a knowledge or belief gap. These things will help you guide your horse in those moments where they need it.

Speaker1:
And this is where the idea of enough becomes powerful again. For some people, when you say enough, they think they’re giving up or lowering the bar. But enough can help you create a calm center. Do I have enough information to handle this situation? If not, what do I need to learn here for next time? Enough is a way to quiet the static. It’s a way to return to the present. And here’s the big picture for many of you. You’re learning and teaching at the same time. You’re the student and the instructor. So it’s natural that you’re going to have moments when you don’t know what enough is at first. That’s why guidance can help, and taking things one step at a time. If you’re wondering what your version of enough might be. My quiz can help. You’ll get immediate feedback and then some guidance and direction. You’ll also hear the rest of that student’s story. At the start of this episode, I said that your mind can be your greatest asset or your biggest obstacle. The Rider’s Mind quadrant invites you to pause, sort through the thoughts to ask what would be enough to get the information that you need, and to step into the role that your horse is already looking for. A steady, thoughtful guide. Thanks for listening, and I’ll talk to you again in the next episode.

Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy’s podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall. Com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

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