episode 314.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Speaker1:
If I put myself in that same situation, I know I would be feeling cautious, careful, mindful, aware on purpose. And this is where sometimes I think less experienced horse owners get confused. It would be easy to think the professionals don't feel those things.
Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.
Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall and I'm here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your own horses. In this episode, I want to talk to you about an idea that I had as I was watching someone unload a horse from a trailer and then again on a recent trip to a coffee shop. And I will bet that this concept is showing up as you work with your horse. Maybe it's coming from you, or maybe it's coming from your horse. Or it could be coming from both of you at the same time. Let me start with the coffee shop example. It's a short story. I recently walked into my favorite local coffee shop, and I had just enough time before another appointment. I knew I could get in, get a latte, order a pastry. I order the same latte about 99.5% of the time. I'm a little bit more flexible on the pastry. They have really great muffins, scones, and these things that are made with puff pastry. Yum. So I knew what I was doing when I walked up to the pastry counter. I glanced around and to my shock, none of my top three items were there. I stood staring at the available items. A minute later, another man walked up and I told him to go ahead of me and as I paused, staring, I was aware of how hard this felt the decision.
Speaker1:
I felt sluggish. I felt slow. And until that moment, I didn't realize how much I had mentally prepared for what I would order. Until I realized I couldn't order it. Now, earlier in my life, if a moment like this happened, I might have just quickly named something while judging myself inside my head about being indecisive. Taking too long. My self-talk in my past was Terrible, but now I'm willing to stay in that moment. I'm willing to slow down and actually have the experience that I was having. Which means that if I were going to describe what it felt like now, I would say it was similar to taking a small child and watching them make a decision. But this is me watching me have this experience and make this decision. As I was standing there, I was really actually thankful that I was the only person in line now, because I stood long enough to also realize that I was becoming uncomfortable with my own delay. That's even more information. Finally, I went ahead and I chose a couple of things, and I would love to end the story right now with they were amazing, but one was a total flop. I didn't finish it, threw it away, and the other one was something I had ordered before and I'd liked it, but I wasn't really in the mood for it. The good news? The coffee was consistent.
Speaker1:
And the other good news is that the trip really proved to be very productive, simply because I unexpectedly ran into this feeling of resistance that I had to something new. When I was preparing for this podcast, I did a couple of Google searches and Google said this. So it has to be true. About 20% of people embrace change and 80% are more likely to experience resistance. And resistance makes sense because change represents the unknown. Change can be interpreted by your brain as a threat. And in my own experience, I would say I am typically in the 80%, which makes sense to me because in general I lean towards being more cautious. Sometimes people are surprised to hear me say that about myself, because they associate me with things like the bareback and bridleless riding or colt starting at road to the horse. But if you were to take a closer look, those were areas where I had lots of experience around the subject, which is what we're about to talk about. But before I tell you the concept, let's move to a horse example. The other day I was watching a horse unload from a trailer. The trailer had a ramp and the horse hadn't unloaded from a ramp before. I was watching the situation and the person handling the horse was another professional. They were being, in my words, Cautious. They were visibly taking it slow.
Speaker1:
They were guiding the horse to stay slow and to take his time. And the words that came to my mind were cautious. Careful. Mindful. Aware. Now notice none of those are warm, fuzzy feelings. I'll say them again. Cautious. Careful. Mindful. Aware. I get to be around a lot of professionals in the equine industry, and in my observation, there are situations where this combination of feelings or behaviors come up. Examples would be unloading from a trailer, the first saddling the first ride. Just to give you a few examples. In fact, professionals, in my opinion, are often more aware of the potential problems and the challenges that those problems could create. Now, professionals also tend to prioritize moments in time that are more critical than others. Meaning not all moments are as critical as some of the others, but especially in places where the unsupported horse could make choices that would lead to undesirable paths or habits. Like a horse rushing off from a trailer and getting in a habit of rushing off in the trailer and panicking. In those moments, it's more common for me to see a professional who's willing to slow down. There are moments when training a horse where things feel a little bit more critical, like the first time you saddle a horse, because no matter how much you prepare for it. New is always new. I love the concept of preparing in advance as much as you can for something.
Speaker1:
And there's one analogy that sums it up, and it's the idea of pulling the boat up as close as you can beside the dock before you take that step onto the boat. So imagine actually doing that. Imagine stepping from a dock onto a boat. If the boat is pulled up close and people are holding it tight, you can step pretty easily from the dock to the boat. Now imagine if there's a gap between the dock and the boat. You're going to have to stretch a little bit. Or I guess maybe you could run and jump and hope that you make it. Or you could put one foot on to the boat and have the other foot still on the dock. And if at that moment the boat begins to drift further away, you're going to find yourself uncomfortably stretched or wet. This same analogy could work with a mounting block. By the way, that's one of those areas where sometimes you'll see a person get uncomfortably stretched when they have one foot on the mounting block and one foot in the stirrup, and the horse begins to leave the dock. So once you look at the options in this boat analogy, it makes sense why you would want to pull the boat up close before you take that step. But that's only part of the story.
Speaker1:
If you've never taken that step before, new is still new. It will be a new experience standing there, looking at the boat while you're on the dock and deciding to step. It will be a new experience as one foot leaves the dock and settles in the boat. And when your whole body is in the boat and your mission is complete, then you will notice that standing in a boat is a new experience. The boat will be moving, and no matter how much someone has explained to you what it feels like to stand in a fishing boat while it's moving, new is always new. And for that horse who had been hauled before, but not with a ramp, and for that horse who was not expecting a ramp to be there, it is wise to slow down physically and help them slow down mentally. Because new is always new. When I was watching this, what stood out to me was the emotional side of the experience for the professional. If I put myself in that same situation, I know I would be feeling cautious, careful, mindful, aware on purpose. And this is where sometimes I think less experienced horse owners get confused. It would be easy to think the professionals don't feel those things. But speaking for myself, at least I know I do. And here's why. Because new to the horse is new.
Speaker1:
So if it's a situation where I think it's appropriate to proceed with caution because it's the horse's first time doing something, then I want to be cautious on purpose, aware on purpose, careful on purpose. Here are some of the combinations that come to my mind when something is new to the horse. That first experience is always knew when something is new to the rider. That experience, that first experience is always new. When you have a seasoned horse, it's not new to the horse. And when you have a seasoned rider, it's not new to the rider. So in the trailer unloading example, the handler was seasoned. They had experience, but the experience was new to the horse. When I'm in that situation, teaching a horse to load and unload, all I can do is prepare the horse to the best of my ability and remember that new is still new, which means I'm aware that the horse is about to experience something new, and he might look like I do at the coffee shop when they run out of my favorite pastries. A professional does everything they can to prepare, and then uses educated guesses to fill in that gap. For example, if I'm preparing a horse for trailer loading and unloading, I'm going to do all the prep work. And if the horse is consistently reactive early in the training or during that prep work, I can work and I will work to improve that.
Speaker1:
And I will remember that that part is in there or was in there. When I say that, I'm going to remember that about the horse. It's not a criticism, it's an observation. Does this horse tend to rush when things are unknown, or does this horse tend to slow down when things are unknown? Me coffee shop I tend to slow down. You might be a person who speeds up. You might have friends who tend to fly off the handle or storm out. Take note it's useful for your next educated guess. Educated guess. It's kind of a funny expression when riders or handlers have more experience, they're making educated guesses, but when riders or handlers have less experience, they tend to still make guesses. So they're making uneducated guesses, or at least less educated guesses. That's not the main focus. What I mostly want you to focus on from this podcast is the idea that even the pros have a level of guessing going on. It's just a different flavor because of their level of expertise. I think sometimes when people are learning, they imagine there's this day where there won't be this wiggle room, this question of what's going to happen, that thing that can be perceived as doubt or the unknown. But I see this still in prose. They just accept it as part of the process, whether they phrase it like this or not.
Speaker1:
In that moment, they know new is always new. And maybe there's a sprinkle of this concept too. When a seasoned pro like me does something with a horse where it's new for the horse, like backing off the trailer, it's new for the horse, but it's not new for me. Or is it? Because in a way, one thing I love about training new horses or teaching people is I love introducing them to new to them concepts. Because when that concept is new to you, it cracks the door open for that concept to be new again for me. I bet you've done one of these before. Taken someone to your favorite restaurant so they could try it, because you knew it would be new to them, and you wanted to be there for that experience. Or maybe you've given someone a gift, something you love and you want to share. It's going to be new to them, and you're excited about it because it makes it a little bit new for you, too. Towel warmers, people. Towel warmers for Christmas gifts. Or maybe you've recommended a book to someone so that you could experience that book again when you meet to discuss it after they've read it. Side note read The Ride of Her Life by Elizabeth Letts. All of these are examples of you doing something again, but having it be a little bit new for you because you're with someone else who's experiencing it as new for the first time.
Speaker1:
As we go into the holiday season and then on into the new year, I would encourage you to watch your responses to new. Maybe that means you'll be the weird person in the coffee shop who pauses to figure out what new really feels like. That sluggish, slow feeling that I felt, that discomfort that I felt when I was taking my time. But I felt uncomfortable taking more time. That is the same discomfort that drives riders to move faster than they want to, because they perceive they're taking too long to do the next step with their horse, or they're afraid that somehow they're going to look weird or they won't fit in. Look for the ways that you show up in your everyday life that cross over into how you are with your horses. Whether you find that it's something that you do well or something you'd like to improve, the first step is always recognizing that it's there. But fair warning slowing down and watching will be new information, and you might resist knowing more about your own behavior because you just might dislike new that much. That's what I have for you this week. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.
Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall. Com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.
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