Episode 355.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Speaker1:
When I’m teaching live. Especially, not only am I sharing strategies and weaving in my beliefs and my stories, I’m also sharing my state.
Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a Hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy’s goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.
Speaker1:
Hi, I’m Stacy Westfall and I’m here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your horses. Over the weekend I was teaching a clinic and I introduced a concept that I learned from Tony Robbins and it was so well received that I’m going to share it with you now. Tony explains that whenever you’re trying to make progress, there are three forces at play. Strategy Energy, story and state. He came up with these during decades of watching people who either had breakthroughs or stayed stuck, and while watching them, he was trying to answer the question, what really makes the difference when people succeed? And what he noticed is that when people feel stuck, they usually put their focus in the wrong place. Many people think that the answer is strategy. They say, if I just had the right plan, or if I knew the exact steps, if I could just find the right how to, then I would succeed. And of course, strategy matters. But we live in a world full of strategies. Whatever you want to learn, whether it’s fitness or business or training horses or how to cook, there are thousands of strategies at your fingertips on the internet. It’s usually not a lack of strategy that keeps people stuck. The next layer is story. This is the meaning that you attach to what’s happening. And if your story is something like I’ve tried everything and nothing works, or I’ll never be able to do this, it doesn’t matter how many good strategies you have in front of you, you won’t use them or you’ll use them half heartedly.
Speaker1:
The story shapes what you believe is possible and then that belief filters. I say colors how you see every strategy. And then there’s one more. Under both of those is state your emotional and physical state in the moment. Think about the difference between trying something when you’re exhausted or discouraged or tense, or when you’re energized, confident, focused. In one state, you’ll probably find a way your state feeds the story that you tell, and the story determines what strategy you’ll even try. So at the core of it, Tony’s message is that people think they need new strategies, but what they really need is to shift their state and their story. Because once those change, the strategies can actually work at the clinic. I began by writing the framework, the three words state story and strategy on my flipchart. And then I told a story. But before my story, I handed out freshly baked warm out of the oven apple cinnamon scones with this year’s apples. So good. So imagine you’re eating a warm apple cinnamon scone for this part. Right now, my oven has a sensor or something that has gone bad when I’m cooking scones. They’re supposed to cook at 400 degrees. So that morning I set the oven to preheat and went to the barn to feed. When the alarm. When the little noise on the oven goes off to say that the preheat is done, I can double check and verify with a thermometer that I bought and put in the oven that it is actually at the temperature it’s supposed to be.
Speaker1:
Then I put the scones in, but I have to stand there and check it about every five minutes because the temperature will drop. That means that if I don’t check it halfway through the cooking time, it’s not unusual for my temperature in the oven to have dropped 20 or 30 degrees. And that really messes up scones. My strategy for the last year or more has been to turn the oven up and down slightly, because if I tell it to go to 405, it seems to remind the oven to come back to the right temperature. Then five minutes later, I turn it back down to 400. This has been my strategy, my workaround. The more obvious long term strategy would be to get someone out here to repair the oven. But this is where story comes in. My story is that it’s going to be inconvenient to work out a time for a repair. My other story is that I only think of it when I go to bake something like the scone, because a lot of other things that cook in the oven, like lasagna, don’t care as much about perfect temperature, so it’s not as impacted. So of course, when I tell myself these stories, my state is impacted. When I go to turn the oven on, the next time that I want to bake scones, I’m a little bit annoyed and also a little bit resigned to standing there, turning the oven up and down.
Speaker1:
It doesn’t take much to see that my strategy could be better, but my story and my state are driving my strategy. Now, Maybe they were influenced by the scone they were eating, but the story seemed to really hit home with the riders that were there. I’ll give you a rider example for fun, though many riders have the thought I should be further along by now, and the story that goes with that thought would be something like I’m behind, I need to catch up. There’s probably a lot of different threads. So then I imagine this rider who thinks I should be further along by now, going to the barn and taking their horse out to ride and others are watching. Now keep in mind others are watching and this rider is thinking I should be further along by now. The story is they’re behind. They need to catch up. What kind of state is that going to produce? Well, some great options are pressured, frustrated, impatient because you’re trying to rush to get caught up. And then the horse feels it, which oftentimes will kind of trigger the horse’s response, which then confirms that you’re even further behind than you thought, because, you know, when you’re reacting that way, the horse is much more likely to have a reaction to you behaving that way. And then that self-judgment spiral that’s happening can really get going.
Speaker1:
Now think about this. What strategy is probably going to be put into play if you are at the barn thinking you’re behind and feeling pressured and your horse is acting up. Very often the strategy is going to be something rushed, skipping the basics because advanced stuff looks further along. So even though maybe it needs to be a bunch of basics to get everybody, you and your horse back on the same page, it doesn’t look that fancy. And if you think you’re behind, the advanced stuff would appear to your mind to look more advanced. And then another thing that’s super common is maybe instead of just skipping the basics, maybe the writer changes programs and changes programs and changes programs looking for a faster way to get there. And again, strategy is important. But if you look at the story and the state, double check those before you start changing a lot of strategy. The obviously better strategy would be a steady foundation and consistent repetition. Mind you, there’s no judgment coming from me. My oven’s been like this for at least a year. People often take lessons or attend clinics because they’re looking for a strategy. And I get it. That’s what I love to teach. I love the clear steps, the patterns, the techniques. But I also believe that people are drawn to teachers because of the story that they carry. That’s why I get feedback like this from Stephanie, who wrote to me after listening to episode 137 of this podcast.
Speaker1:
She said, I’ve been listening to your podcast for a while now and I found it really helpful. I just got done listening to number 137 and it had me absolutely sobbing, sobbing with relief. I was given an unstarted five year old thoroughbred mare. I have many years of experience with horses, but I’ve never started one myself. She has and had some issues that we’ve been slowly working through. I have felt a massive amount of guilt that were not farther along in her training. However, I’ve been striving to go at her pace. Things have ultimately been going well. Your words lifted a burden off me, even though I’ve said all along that this is a long game and I’m not in a rush. I still feel an expectation that we should be further along, knowing that someone like you has given your horses time off when they need it really helps. It reassures me that my horse and I are on the right track. It may take us a while to get there, but we will get there. Stephanie. Well, first of all, thank you for sharing that, Stephanie. And that’s what I’m talking about. That’s the story. The story she was telling herself was heavy, and it shaped how she felt about everything she was doing. But when she heard a different story, when she heard my story, she borrowed it and it shifted her state immediately. And that brings me to the third piece. State at the clinic. One thing that really stood out was state.
Speaker1:
I was giving demonstrations. And even when I’m using strategies to keep a horse calm or help them focus, it’s easy to see that I’m operating at a higher state. Then I asked the group, when I coach you, does my coaching impact your state. The responses were very physical, nodding, laughing, wide eyed, knowing looks, nodding at each other. And then someone said, yeah, that’s the whole point. And everybody started laughing. That’s what coaching does. When I’m teaching live, especially, not only am I sharing strategies and weaving in my beliefs and my stories, I’m also sharing my state. Writers get to try it on and feel it in their own body, and get familiar with what a different state feels like. Story. State. Strategy. Next time you’re with your horse, realize that just noticing those three your story, your state, and your current strategy in that moment, that is the first step towards change. Oh, and by the way, I finally scheduled an appointment for the oven. I actually did that today. What changed? You might ask? I asked the state that I put myself in when I’m preparing to record a podcast is different, and the awareness of my story about the oven due to speaking it live over the weekend and then recording it here. Those together brought it up into my awareness. And guess what? I walked in today and the appointment is tomorrow. Thanks for listening and I’ll talk to you again in the next episode.
Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy’s podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall. Com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.
Sonix has many features that you’d love including generate automated summaries powered by AI, enterprise-grade admin tools, collaboration tools, automatic transcription software, and easily transcribe your Zoom meetings. Try Sonix for free today.
