Episode 308: Maintaining Momentum: Riding Through Life’s Interruptions

Episode 308- Maintaining Momentum- Riding Through Life's Interuptions.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Episode 308- Maintaining Momentum- Riding Through Life's Interuptions.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker1:
Just because your plans change, it doesn't mean your momentum has to change. And even better, just because your plans change, it doesn't mean your momentum has to be lost. You could even gain momentum through that sense of resolve of staying committed when your plans change.

Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall and I'm here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your own horses. In this episode, I want to talk about interruptions and the challenge of maintaining momentum. This is fresh on my mind because right now it seems like I'm so close to reaching a goal. And yet at the same time, it seems far away. It's off track right now from what I had planned, but the real question is, could I still be on track, even though it's a different track than what I had planned? Let me explain what I had planned and why I feel off track. Then I'll share why interruptions often feel like they disrupt momentum, some strategies for handling interruptions, and a discovery that one of my students made when she faced an interruption, and the way she handled it that created a result that even surprised her. As you may have noticed, interruptions can come in many forms. They could be work related, they could be family related. It could be unexpected visitors stopping by, or it could be environmental, like the weather changing. And that conflicts with your riding plans. My most recent interruption came with an injury, but it really started off even earlier than that when I started feeling off track. But now I'm getting ahead of myself. Before I begin, I'd like you to quickly decide which category you fit into. Do you tend to be a planner and a goal setter or. Nope, not a planner. I'm more of a roll with the flow kind of person.

Speaker1:
Which one? Okay. Got it. There's no right or wrong answer here. There's no better or worse category here. But I do want to mention that if you feel interrupted, derailed, or set back, which is what I'm talking about on today's podcast, then what you are experiencing is in reference to something that you want or desire. So if you're in the first category, if you label yourself as a planner, you're probably aware of what that thing is that you want. And because you're much more likely to have a plan to get it when that plan isn't going as planned, you're likely to feel off track. And I'm going to discuss why that matters later in the podcast. For those of you in category two who don't identify as planners who have more of a roll with the flow kind of approach, if you feel interrupted or off track or generally disappointed, be sure you identify why. It might be because you have a hope or a dream, and even though you don't have a clear path towards it, your emotions could be telling you that you feel behind even if you don't have a clear destination. And I'm mentioning this upfront because Cause generally that unsettled, unsatisfied feeling or a reaction or an overreaction to a setback is often bigger when you don't have a clear goal. That sounds like it would be backwards, but let me put it into an example.

Speaker1:
If I say with my horse Ember, that she's just not as far along as I thought she'd be, I'm reporting that I feel unsatisfied, but I'm not really identifying what that means. It's still true. I'm not as far along as I thought I'd be is true, but it's also unclear. If I ask the question, where did I think I would be at this point? Then I could answer that with I thought I would be trail riding her now and then. That makes the off track feeling easier to understand. Okay, now I can say on track would have been trail riding her by now, and off track is not trail riding her by now. And while this might seem like a small difference, by the end of the podcast you're going to see that it's hard to transfer this sense of what needs to be done to a different location. If you don't have a more specific way to measure what you're after. Now, let me catch you up on why I feel behind or interrupted. I had a goal this year with my two year old Ember to be trail riding her before the end of the year. In my mind, I thought I would be trail riding her by October, which a lot of times is the end of my riding season. Doesn't have to be. But oftentimes the weather changes in October and makes it much more challenging to trail ride. I knew when I set this goal that I had quite a few months to reach it, but I also knew I had some challenges to face.

Speaker1:
Ember Amber was born later in the year than quite a few other foals. She was actually born in June, so she's considered a late baby. And then I was making educated guesses as to how much growing she would be doing, and she just really didn't grow up very quickly. So because of those things, I decided to go lightly forward with her. I was already noticing that I felt off track a little bit by July and August, and then about the time that she started feeling physically strong enough to do more, she got injured in the pasture. So for me, it felt like a slow down, a setback and an interruption. Which brings up another point. I actually noticed that there's a different feeling depending on the timing of the interruptions. So I had a lot of momentum coming into the year, starting her under saddle and doing the non-weight bearing work. So the early setbacks where I decided that she wasn't big enough to be weight bearing, and that I had plenty of time to make things up, those early setbacks or interruptions didn't feel as urgent as they have felt later in the year. Now, I also want to be clear when I look back, I also agree I would not have done anything different. I stand by my decision to have a slow start due to her physical development, but I also do notice that the interruption in the process early felt different than the interruptions that have happened later at, let's say, the three quarter mark.

Speaker1:
So because my typical trail riding season is closing due to the weather and the hunting Seasons. I can also feel an urge to rush or to quit. So another point to be aware of is your response to setbacks in relationship to the time frame when they happen. If you have a goal that spans a longer amount of time, do you notice that an earlier setback feels different than one later in the process? And if it does, you can question why? Is it because the finish line is in sight? Or is it because when you look back at your path to where you are now, you actually see times in the past where you backed off, when you now wish you had kept going. I've had that experience where maybe I could have gone harder in the first month or two of a goal, and I didn't. And now at the end, I'm kind of regretting or wishing that I had done something differently in the beginning. If you begin to study this, it's one of the best ways to stay out of rushing energy and the habit of looking at how you make your choices the early ones, the middle ones, the later ones on your way to your goal. This habit of looking at how you make your choices, especially if you have something that spans a longer time frame, will eventually help you learn how to pace yourself when you are trying to do things that span a longer time.

Speaker1:
So for me, I know that the same urge in the beginning to think it doesn't matter early on is actually the very similar to the urge at the end when it seems like, well, it doesn't really matter. So I take those just as seriously in the first two months of a six month goal as I would at the last two weeks of a six month goal. I want to know how to stay out of that rushing energy, and how to be able to use my energy across that board as evenly as I can to stay out of that rushing and making up energy. I think one of the most challenging parts of an interruption is that it exaggerates my next point, which is the emotions that come with that feeling of being interrupted. One of my students said it this way. She said I had to wrestle through the annoyance and disappointment of having my plans interrupted. And I've noticed that with the setbacks I've had with Ember, I have an increased desire to skip a ride to change my plans, and my brain keeps offering me thoughts of it doesn't matter, it won't make a difference. And I want to mention this for a couple of reasons. Number one, it really does happen to me too. And number two, I recognize why it happens.

Speaker1:
My brain wants me to change my plans. My brain wants me to quit because there is a desire to change my goal of trail riding, in order to escape the feeling of being pulled in two different directions. So think about it like this. If you have a dream or a goal, something you hope to do, it represents something different than what you have right now. Usually that's a positive change, and in the beginning, having that dream or that hope is motivating. It makes you feel hopeful or inspired. But when you get near the end and the door is closing and you're not sure you're going to make it through the closing door, that pull feels like a vacuum. And if you declare it's over, I just can't do it. It's not going to work. What happens is you get instant relief from that conflict from that. I don't look like I have it, and I kind of still want it, and it doesn't look like I'm going to get it, but I still want it. If I choose to keep going until December 31st, then what that means is that between now the beginning of October and the end of December, I'm going to feel that pull of the not having and the wanting, the not having and the wanting. And the best news I have for you is that when you understand and acknowledge why you would want to quit when you're three quarters of the way through, it actually gets easier to hear those thoughts without reacting to them.

Speaker1:
It really does make a difference. So when the thought crosses my mind that the weather won't hold and I won't be able to trail ride because the weather will make the footing unsafe. When my brain offers me that thought spontaneously and tries to get me to change my plans, I actually agree with the thought. Yep, it's true. The weather might not hold, but I'm still going to keep the goal. I'm still going to keep working towards it, and I'm not going to rush, so I don't even have to fight with myself about it. I can say yes, it's true. The weather might not hold and it's also true I'm not changing the goal. Now let's go back to my student for a moment, because I'd like to share the breakthrough that she had. Her situation was that she had planned a day trip to haul her horse to a different location, where she had more room to work on specific pattern riding for an upcoming show. And like many of you listening, she has horse related goals and a life outside of horses. And what that creates is a situation where it's possible for you to have two things that you desire that may conflict with each other at times. In her case, she had an unplanned family outing pop up that conflicted with her planned trip with her horse. She wanted to go with the family, and she wanted to ride.

Speaker1:
She had a choice, and I believe because she made the choice instead of blaming the circumstance. I believe that is what set her up for the breakthrough. When she said I had to wrestle through the annoyance and disappointment at having my plans interrupted. That's the part where she was between decisions. At first, she had the decision made to haul and ride the horse, and then she was presented with the conflict. And during that conflict, the emotions that came up for her were annoyance and disappointment. And then when she worked through the conflicting options that were on the table and had that experience of being pulled in two different directions, very similar to what I was just talking about when I feel the urge to quit with the goal, or the option of keeping the goal on the table, even though that keeps me in this pulled in two directions moment. Her moment of being pulled in two directions was when both options were on the table, and then she made a decision that she would go with the family and she would ride at home instead of hauling. And what she discovered surprised her. Even though her home arena is much, much smaller than where she was going to haul to her plan for riding with intention, her plan for getting all the momentum moving and going and hauling and practicing and hauling home, she was able to take all of that momentum and focus it into her at home ride.

Speaker1:
She was able to transfer that sense of urgency and resolve to continue with the plan she had made, even though it was going to look like a different presentation by riding at home. And the result was a very focused, very productive ride at home. Which brings me to another point. Just because your plans change, it doesn't mean your momentum has to change. And even better, just because your plans change, it doesn't mean your momentum has to be lost. You could even gain momentum through that sense of resolve of staying committed when your plans change. What my student experienced was a sense of transferring momentum, the energy that she already had planned to expel by hooking up the truck and trailer and hauling and riding with intention and coming home. And then that energy of having the new conflicting choices on the table, and then the process of making a decision about which one she was going to do, and still honoring both of her desires, she was able to take all of that momentum and transfer it into one very productive ride at home. She was able to redirect the energy from an interrupted task, and gain energy and do the ride at home with a higher level of focus than she'd ever been able to do before. And here's why. For my student, the last minute change, plus her long term focus on her end of the year goal, led to her maintaining the momentum of that weekend's planned ride, but she just didn't do it in the location she imagined.

Speaker1:
She imagined she was going to haul somewhere and do this planned ride, but it turns out that she was still going to do a very focused, very planned ride, just in a different location than what she had imagined. And that was possible because she kept in mind that the purpose of this hauling was to gain more focus, to help her get to her year end goal. And this is essentially where I'm at right now with Ember. The question is, can I maintain the momentum even when it looks like the odds are stacked against me of reaching my goal of trail riding, even if it looks like my goal won't be achieved. What was the purpose of the goal in the first place, and how can the purpose be accomplished here? The purpose of the goal of trail riding Ember was to create a horse that was steady and confident enough to ride safely on the trails. If I can hold on to that part, not the part where I do the thing where I go out on the trail, but the part where the purpose of the thing is a steady, confident horse. If I can hold on to the purpose, even if I don't make it on the trail, I can still work with that level of momentum and focus to create that steady, confident horse here.

Speaker1:
So the question becomes, if I create that steady, confident horse here, even if I don't get a chance to go prove it by going on the trail this year, how far behind am I really? Even if I don't get to check the box of done on the trail ride, am I really that far behind? If I have accomplished the purpose and the path just looks different than what I had laid out? If you're a planner, the urge to check the box is going to be strong, and sometimes you have to remember what the purpose was. And if you fall into the category of a non planner, then it's even more important for you to stay in touch with your emotions. Because if you have that deflated or disappointed feeling, it's important for you to recognize why so that you can acknowledge those dreams or hopes or desires that you have. For me, I tend to either notice the interrupted plan or the deflated emotion. If I start noticing a desire to skip a ride or change a plan, that's a red flag for me. If I start noticing thoughts of it doesn't matter or it won't make a difference, that's a red flag for me. When those things come up, not if they come up. When those things come up, I decide what I can do today. Even if it might look different than the plan that I had. The point of interruptions is that they aren't known ahead of time when they happen.

Speaker1:
You will be presented with new decisions. Back in episode 301, I talked about decision fatigue and miserable maybes. I believe my student had such a breakthrough because she didn't stay in the miserable. Maybe she processed through the feeling of annoyance and disappointment. She looked around at her options and she made a powerful decision which led to a powerful outcome. One of the most common problems I see is that when people are in that situation and they make a new decision, if it conflicts with the decision they made several months ago about the path that they wanted to be on, they struggle to let themselves off the hook for that original plan. And the problem there is sometimes the path will not unfold the way that you planned it. If you remember the purpose of the path that you planned, you may find that you can still get to the purpose, and the path just might look a little different than what you had planned. When you acknowledge what's happening and you change course accordingly, you can keep their momentum and you can release yourself. You can let yourself off the hook for not having a magic crystal ball and being able to predict everything in January, that was going to happen for the entire year. Instead, you can keep your focus on the purpose, and sometimes you'll find your path will unfold in front of you beautifully. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.

Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall. Com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

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