Episode 305: Listener Q&A: How Can I Increase My Confidence In My Goals?

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episode 305.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker1:
Here's how I would approach this question of confidence. The first thing to realize is that you're actually talking about three different areas that you could have confidence in. There is your confidence level with this specific course getting you to your specific goal. There's confidence that you will keep going even if this one horse doesn't get you there, and there is confidence that you will treat any horse by a predetermined set of quote unquote fairness rules that you have created.

Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall and I'm here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your own horses. In this episode, I'm answering a question that came in. It was sent as an audio file. So I'm going to play the question for you in just a minute. As you listen, what I'd like you to do is listen for pieces of the question that stand out to you, because this covers a lot. I've actually created categories or subjects that I want to cover as I answer the question and to give you an idea. These include buying a horse, goal, setting the underdog being fair, and what it is like to be 100% confident. Let's listen to the question.

Speaker3:
Hi Stacy, you might be able to tell, but I'm in the car driving and had a couple of questions come to mind. But I'm not at a place where I can write them down, so I thought I would record them instead. So you had mentioned selling Presto and that decision. I know that you're in the market for a new horse, so I was hoping you could talk about the decisions that you make as a professional with your level of experience when it comes to buying a new horse and to some extent, setting goals with your horses and the degree to which you are confident that you can pursue those goals with your horses. So the first thing I want to ask about is the goal setting. You currently have a goal, to the best of my understanding, to do something in reining, and I don't know exactly how you wrote that goal. If it's to compete at a certain level or just to get back into it again, but you have a goal for something in reining and Presto does not currently meet any of your goals, but he has completed the goal for which you bought him, which was to adopt and raise a foal from Last Chance Corral. So you made that clear like he's met your goals and whatever he's probably going to be best suited towards in life. It is not going to align with what you're doing right now. So I think that that's a fair assessment. If your goal is raining, Presto is a very large horse.

Speaker3:
He is going to have a hard time competing in reining and being competitive and staying sound. Because if you push him to be competitive, it's probably going to be to the detriment of his health. But we cannot say that for certain. And because we can't ever say anything for certain, one might argue that even though it's a very, very slim chance, there is like a 1% chance that Presto could be competitive in reining, and he could be the horse that you you need right now in your life. And because of that, you should keep him and, you know, really commit to that underdog story. I've been around a lot of people who have been in similar situations, and they've opted to keep their horses, and some of them really did come out as the underdog, and others ended up with horses that were injured and damaged. Even despite their best intentions. So I think that it's a hard line to walk. And when we get to those lower levels of confidence, that 1%, that 10% that our horse can do something, that's where it's a real gray area that you have to have a conversation about whether or not you're being fair to the horse, but that's not quite the area I wanted to ask about. I'm thinking about the upper percentages. When you undertake a goal with your horse, do you write that goal and do you select a goal based on the horse you have, or do you select the horse based on the goal you have? And when you select that horse and that goal and you commit to it, do you undertake that goal with like a 70% level of confidence where like that's your minimum.

Speaker3:
And if you're not at least 70%, you're not going to, you know, commit to that goal. Or are you talking like you're 100% confident that barring any kind of physical, unexpected injury or ailment or, you know, those unexpected things that happen that you and that horse will be able to complete that goal. And I ask that not really knowing the answer, because I don't know what 100% confidence would feel like, maybe if it was something I'd already done before. But for example, I have competed up to first level in dressage, but my goal is to get my bronze medal in classical dressage. I have a thoroughbred. He has a few physical issues, and there are things that might come up as we start to get into the more advanced lateral movement as issues that mean I should stop pushing him in that sport, but they also might not. So suspensory issues are an example. So I could pursue my goal of getting my bronze medal and taking the steps and, you know, being methodical about it. And that is my end goal. But I have to check in every step of the way. And I'm not 100% confident that I can get to my end goal. I think I can approach it and I think I can, you know, get partway there. But until I see how that horse performs under training and see if he's going to risk his own injury in that training, then I'm not going to know and I will stop pursuing my goal.

Speaker3:
So I guess for that horse, I might be 70, maybe 80% confident that he could get me to my bronze medal. And I think that for me, with my experience, that's something that I'm happy to bet on. I know that I'll be fair to the horse every step of the way, so I'm going to set that goal with that 80% confidence. But you do you would that not be something that you do or would you not set that goal at all? Would you only set a goal for second level dressage and then leave it open to getting another horse by the time you get to third. I guess. Where do you draw the line? I don't. I don't quite know where I would. So on the other side of things, how do you select a horse for your goals? If it's not something that your current horse is going to be very good at, you won't be able to be 100% confident that you can do it. So clearly, for your reining goals, you did not select Presto because you don't have 100% confidence that he can do it. But let's say that your goal was not reining. It was something that you hadn't done before. Maybe it was eventing or working equitation. I think you've mentioned working equitation before, so I'll go with that. So if your goal was working equitation, would you select a goal and word it based on the horses you have where it's more like, I want to experience working equitation with Willow or one of your horses, knowing that at the upper levels of that sport.

Speaker3:
It's really, really breed specific. Who excels? Those Iberian horses really do take the cake in that sport when you get to the top end, even though it's open to English and Western horses, they just have a harder time with those movements than the Iberian horses, which can really naturally collect and sit on their hind end. Or if you really wanted to pursue upper level working equitation, that was your goal. Regardless of the horses you have, would you, as a professional look and seek out a horse that was purpose bred for working equitation from the beginning, so that you can experience the sport with the breed it was intended for? And would that even be something that you enjoy doing, considering how much you enjoy your reining horses and really like working with them? So really, this is just a question about your confidence and goal setting, how you go about selecting horses for your goals in a way that's fair to the horse. And whether I could challenge myself, and I don't really know how I would, but if you can offer any insight, if that 100% confidence is something that you really recommend of how we can maybe reach for that with our own horses when it's something that we haven't done before. So thank you.

Speaker1:
Thanks for the question. I'm going to go back through your questions and answer them both with my specific thoughts or reasons in my specific situation, because I want you to understand how I'm approaching it. But I'll also share some other factors that could change those answers or some additional viewpoints that you could consider. And I also want to show you how you could be 200% confident right now in your goal. You ready? Well, before we get started, I want to remind all of you that as you answer any question about goals, it's very important to know why you want that goal. I'm about to do a lot of question and answer. That sounds a lot like I bought a horse for a specific goal. I sold a horse for a specific goal. It's gonna start to sound like the why might not be there. And remember, the why is what helps you know what goals mean something to you personally. They also help you understand how you're approaching something, and how you are going to determine when you're done with a specific goal. My biggest, broadest why is to learn all that I can about horses. More recently, I also said that I want to learn more in the next four years than I did in my first four years in the equine industry. Notice that that's a very broad why I can pick a lot of different goals underneath this, and I'll talk you through some of those as I answer these questions. What is your why for owning horses? Knowing your why is going to be what ties all of these, what sounds like kind of logical conversation. It's going to pull together the passion that might sound like it's missing. As I talk through this very logically, I'm going to grab some of the specific questions that you asked, play them here, and then answer them.

Speaker3:
So the first thing I want to ask about is the goal setting. You currently have a goal, to the best of my understanding, to do something in reining. And I don't know exactly how you wrote that goal. If it's to compete at a certain level or just to get back into it again.

Speaker1:
You are correct that my goal is to compete in reining, and more specifically, I'm going to put it as compete in reining at the same level or higher than I've competed in the past. That means I have to also put the horse's path together with my path. But my goal would be to select horses that I believe have the potential to compete at the level I have competed at in the past, or higher. That's about as clear as the goal is right now. If I wanted to bring it a little bit closer to this time period, I would say that my goal between now and next June would be to see how advanced I could get them between now and next June, and whether or not I could begin taking the horses in to some lower level classes, because the horses need that experience, and then the hope would be that they would continue to advance and move up. So for me, this goal setting, when it's going to take several years to come to fruition, feels more like following a path. So I would say it like this I am selecting the best horse I can currently find within my budget that I believe could go the furthest down this path. Now there's a few limiting factors that start to come to mind. One is that I have my own personal choice of only wanting to own four horses at a time, which is one of the reasons why I sold Presto and Willow to open up a path for some other horses to come in.

Speaker1:
The other thing to keep in mind is that when you're shopping for the horse, you might say, I want to buy the horse that can best take me down this path. Then you also need to consider are you the one that's going to start from scratch, like I am with these horses, and move forward all the way down through the training? Or can you buy a horse that is already proven to be quite a ways down that path for me. I'm starting with horses that are green or unstarted, and I want to take them as far down the path as I can go, so that's a lot further to look down the path. It's a lot further away, which is why I'm going to first focus on those next few months of training. But I did pick to the best of my ability horses that I believe could make it quite a ways down that path. And this is also another reason why I'm breeding Gabby, because another way that you can begin heading down a path like this is to breed the mare, and then that foal will be born, and again, that foal will be on the same path. How far can I take this horse down the path of reining, with the goal of me competing at at least the same level I was in the past or higher?

Speaker3:
You have a goal for something in reining and presto! Does not currently meet any of your goals, but he has completed the goal for which you bought him, which was to adopt and raise a foal from Last Chance Corral. So you made that clear. He's met your goals and whatever he's probably going to be best suited towards in life. It is not going to align with what you're doing right now. So I think that that's a fair assessment. If your goal is raining, Presto is a very large horse. He is going to have a hard time competing in reining and being competitive and staying sound. Because if you push him to be competitive, it's probably going to be to the detriment of his health. But we cannot say that for certain. And because we can't ever say anything for certain, one might argue that even though it's a very, very slim chance, there is like a 1% chance that Presto could be competitive in reining, and he could be the horse that you you need right now in your life. And because of that, you should keep him and, you know, really commit to that underdog story.

Speaker1:
This next set of questions is kind of fascinating, because it begins with the idea that we cannot say that for certain or cannot say anything for certain, and that is an idea that you might want to push on a little bit, because you're kind of close to it in some different ways, where you're arguing that there's a very, very slim chance. But here's how I would actually look at it if I wanted to evaluate Presto as a reining horse. If that were the case, you said, you know, there's a 1% chance. What I'd rather do is instead of saying there's a 1% chance, I would actually begin to say, let's put on the lens, let's put on the glasses. Let's evaluate this particular horse as a potential reining horse. That means I could take him to multiple reining trainers and ask them to evaluate his potential scoring ability. Now, in raining, there's a standard for what a zero spin is like. Correct? With little or no degree of difficulty is what zero means. So the scoring ability that a horse has can be held up against a standard. So there's a standard that is defined. And they actually sell a video that shows you multiple examples at these different standards of what a spin, a slide circling some of these different things. Those maneuvers would be specifically what we are looking for evaluating his potential in.

Speaker1:
So what I would do if I were evaluating him is I would say, what is his potential for the spin and that's his capacity. And then we have to take that. And we want to overlay that with my specific goal, which is to show at the level I have in the past or higher. So the question is actually different than could Presto perform reining maneuvers on some level? The answer to that is yes. Presto could perform really basic spins, even if they were considered pivots and stops, even if they were considered halt. He could go through reining maneuvers at some level. So in one sense of the word, yes, that 1% idea is true. He could be that. But where I can also be solid in the no is could he perform at the level I have in the past or higher? There's actually a true answer there of no. And just to illustrate it a little bit more clearly, I used to joke around about showing Presto myself in reining, and I would tease that I was going to show him and Jesse. My husband finally responded one day, and his comment was, they don't even make shoes in his size for sliding. So you're going to have to have custom shoes made just to try this out. So even though I love a great underdog story and I have participated in some good underdog stories, Presto would not make a great underdog story in this sense, at least not with me.

Speaker1:
I did once train a Quarter Horse that was bought at a kill auction and I started him under saddle, trained him, got him qualified for the AQHa World show, and then we went ahead and took him out to the world show, and we finished in the top 20. I think it was maybe 16th or 17th, something like that. That was a really great underdog moment to participate in, and that horse was far more athletic, even though he was not bred specifically for reining. But he was a quarter Horse. Sorry, presto. But your reining career at my level is not happening now. There was another comment in there that was also really interesting, and it was this one where you said he could be the horse that you need right now in your life. Now that is actually something I can really get behind. I have found, and you may find that there are horses that come through your life that don't seem to make sense in the calculated way that I'm talking about thinking about goals right now. And there are horses that might be the horse you need right now in your life, even if it doesn't make sense for your goals. And for me, that's been a lot of Willow's story with me.

Speaker1:
So when I think about Willow's story, I knew early on that she wasn't going to fulfill the goal I just said, which is compete at the same level or higher in reining that I've done in the past. I've known that for years that she wasn't going to do that. But Willow felt like the horse that I needed in my life at that time period. So I was very willing to be flexible with what I did. I knew that there was something she was here to teach me, and I knew it wasn't in the reigning world. And it turns out she had a lot to teach me in a lot of other worlds. The way that I determine whether or not, as you said, he could be the horse that you need right now in your life. That is one of those intuitive knowings that is one of those things that you can sense. That almost doesn't make any sense, because it doesn't check all the boxes and those come from your heart. So if you feel that, then absolutely, I would listen to that. And for me, I could feel that it was time to let Presto and Willow go and bring in some new horses. And that's the road that I chose. Here's the next part of your question.

Speaker3:
But that's not quite the area I wanted to ask about. I'm thinking about the other percentages. When you undertake a goal with your horse. Do you write that goal and do you select a goal based on the horse you have, or do you select the horse based on the goal you have?

Speaker1:
I actually love that you cleared out some of those questions and lines of thinking before you went into what you said was your real area that you wanted to talk about, and the answer for me is both or. It depends. So when I have a specific horse standing in my barn and I'm writing the goal, so let's use Willow for example, then I'm going to select the goal based on the horse that I have. If I'm in the situation that I just created by selling a horse and then getting ready to buy another horse, then I'm going to do the opposite. I'm going to begin with the goal. And as I buy that horse, I'm going to buy that horse based on the goal that I have.

Speaker3:
And when you select that horse and that goal and you commit to it, do you undertake that goal with like a 70% level of confidence where like that's your minimum. And if you're not at least 70%, you're not going to, you know, commit to that goal. Or are you talking like you're 100% confident that barring any kind of physical, unexpected injury or ailment or, you know, those unexpected things that happen that you and that horse will be able to complete that goal. And I ask that not really knowing the answer, because I don't know what 100% confidence would feel like. Maybe if it was something I'd already done before, But for example, I have competed up to first level in dressage, but my goal is to get my bronze medal in classical dressage. I have a thoroughbred. He has a few physical issues, and there are things that might come up as we start to get into the more advanced lateral movement as issues that mean I should stop pushing him in that sport, but they also might not. So suspensory issues are an example. So I could pursue my goal of getting my bronze medal and taking the steps and, you know, being methodical about it. And that is my end goal.

Speaker3:
But I have to check in every step of the way. And I'm not 100% confident that I can get to my end goal. I think I can approach it and I think I can, you know, get partway there. But until I see how that horse performs under training and see if he's going to risk his own injury in that training, then I'm not going to know and I will stop pursuing my goal. So I guess for that horse, I might be 70, maybe 80% confident that he could get me to my bronze medal. And I think that for me, with my experience, that's something that I'm happy to bet on. I know that I'll be fair to the horse every step of the way, so I'm going to set that goal with that 80% confidence. But you do you would that not be something that you do or would you not set that goal at all? Would you only set a goal for second level dressage and then, you know, leave it open to getting another horse by the time you get to third? I guess, where do you draw the line? I don't I don't quite know where I would.

Speaker1:
You know, I love numbers, so I love that you gave the 70% confidence level and the question about 100% confidence, and that you put in the disclaimer of barring any physical or unexpected injuries, ailments, etc. here's how I would approach this question of confidence. The first thing to realize is that you're actually talking about three different areas that you could have confidence in. There is your confidence level with this specific course getting you to your specific goal. There's confidence that you will keep going even if this one horse doesn't get you there, and there is confidence that you will treat any horse by a predetermined set of quote unquote fairness rules that you have created. When I look at these three types of confidence, here's how I would assess your potential in these areas. You told me that you are 70 to 80% confident that this specific horse can get you to your specific goal. Those are great odds. I would take them. Now, the second area is what's your confidence level that you would keep going even if this one horse doesn't get you there? You kind of alluded to knowing that you could go on to say third level with a different horse. This is an area where you could choose 100% confidence.

Speaker1:
You could choose to be 100% confident that you will keep going. Even if this one horse doesn't get you there. You could be confident that if you try with two horses and it doesn't work, that you could try with three horses, you could create 100% confidence that you will keep going. The third area and the area that I'm 100% confident that you're 100% confident in, is that you get to choose with confidence how you will treat any horse. That is the predetermined set of fairness rules that you have created. You already are 100% confident in that area. Own it. So you have in front of you the potential for 300% confidence, and you're at 270 to 280% out of 300. I like your odds. I would take those odds any day of the week. Now I want to push back just a little bit on my own thinking. First of all, I 100% agree that 70 or 80% sounds amazing, so I'm actually going to question myself on how low I might want to go. So if I'm looking for a horse that I want to compete in, reining with 70 or 80 would be great odds.

Speaker1:
I could see even going down to 60 once I started going down to 50% odds, if I was looking at buying the horse, it would start to make me wonder if maybe I should be a little bit more patient and look around. But if I already owned the horse and the odds were around 50%, I would probably go for it and see where it went. Does that make sense? So it's like, if I already own the horse, I'm going to be very willing to play around and find out what's possible, and I'm okay. I already own the horse. I'm willing to give it a shot and see what I can learn from that process. But if I'm going out to buy the horse, then I'm going to do the best I can given the market what's available, my budget, all of those different things. And I'm going to factor that in. I'm going to aim for the highest that I can, given those factors. And that actually changes things. Because when you start being very sport specific, you are not the only one looking for the elite athlete. So it gets to be a different game the higher up those percentages you want to be.

Speaker3:
So on the other side of things, how do you select a horse for your goals? If it's not something that your current horse is going to be very good at, you won't be able to be 100% confident they can do it. So if your goal was working equitation, would you select a goal and word it based on the horses you have where it's more like, I want to experience working equitation with Willow or one of your horses, knowing that at the upper levels of that sport, it's really, really breed specific who excels? Or if you really wanted to pursue upper level working equitation, that was your goal. Regardless of the horses you have, would you, as a professional look and seek out a horse that was purpose bred for working equitation from the beginning so that you can experience the sport with the breed it was intended for. And would that even be something that you enjoy doing, considering how much you enjoy your reining horses and really like working with them?

Speaker1:
My answer to this question is that I personally like to play around in the new discipline or the new sport. I like to play around using my current horses before I commit to having an entire horse dedicated to that one thing. So I've actually done this. Whether I want to look at mounted shooting or working equitation. I did go take a working equitation lesson on Willow, and back in the day I started mounted shooting from scratch with one of my horses, and I moved up through several levels in mounted shooting, playing around with it, and that was without going out and purchasing a horse that was dedicated just to that event. At some point it might make sense to specialize, depending on how your horse pans out as you experiment with that. But I always like to start with what I have, and then learn as much as I can, and then decide how this whole sport or discipline might fit into my lifestyle in general. Because a lot of times, it's not that I don't want to do multiple things like mounted shooting and reining and working equitation and dressage. It's not so much that I have a lack of desire to support myself in those things. I have a lack of weekends available, and it's really challenging when all of those events are taking place on the same weekend, and I have to choose. It's really challenging when a whole core group of people I know is headed to a reining show, and I decide to load up and head to a different show.

Speaker1:
It's fun to a certain level and I've done it, but it's a different experience. So a lot of times when these decisions are made, they're not purely made just for the desire to play around in a sport. It becomes a large part of your life, especially the more specialized and committed you are to a specific discipline, because you start spending a significant amount of your time practicing and doing it, and then hauling to those shows. So all of that goes into my decision making. But I have found you can go quite a ways in many of these sports with a horse with a solid foundation. That's where I'm going to start each and every time. And I've actually gone as far as this time around saying that right now my goal is to show in reining, and I'm going to pick horses specifically for that. And then if there's also the opportunity and I have the bandwidth. I will also show them in dressage, but I'm making dressage a secondary to my primary goal, and that's something I do very frequently. It doesn't even have to be all or nothing when you pick a primary goal. I can very easily pick that primary goal of reining and also be cross-training in either Western dressage or classical dressage, and I may decide to show in those, but I still pick that primary path with these new horses coming in because I can.

Speaker3:
So really, this is just a question about your confidence and goal setting, how you go about selecting horses for your goals in a way that's fair to the horse, and whether I could challenge myself. And I don't really know how I would, but if you can offer any insight, if that 100% confidence is something that you really recommend of how we can maybe reach for that with our own horses when it's something that we haven't done before. So thank you.

Speaker1:
I also find it useful to look at the limitations that I see. Some of those might be personal limitations that you set and choose, and others might be limitations that the show or where you're going to compete at might impose upon you. For example, I mentioned that one of my personal limitations is I only want to own four horses at a time. So that's what led me to selling two of my horses so I could buy other horses. That's a personal limitation that I'm acting out while I'm reaching another goal. You might set a goal similar to the caller who left the message, and in that goal, the caller technically has the ability to pursue the goal of the bronze medal using multiple horses. So it would be a personal choice whether you were going to say, I want to achieve this goal with one horse, or whether because the show allows it, you actually allow yourself multiple horses to do that. Just remember that if you choose to do it with only one horse, that that is your choice. So if something happens and you choose to let that be your setback, just remember to own it and choose it. Because in a situation like that, multiple horses are allowed, but there's nothing wrong. And there have been many times when I have said I want this one specific goal with this one specific course, and just recognize that if you choose that, it's your own personal limitations for your own reasons.

Speaker1:
Remember at the beginning of the podcast I said, know your why and if your why is very personal and even though you could go do it with other horses, you don't want to. You want to do this one goal with this one horse. Just remember to say that out loud. Now there are also limitations that happen happened in the show world. So at something like an aged event, if you are familiar with the Kentucky Derby, that would be an aged event. The horses get one chance to compete at it because of the age that they have to be when they compete. So there are things like that in the industry. There'll be limitations, and it's actually interesting to watch a human that has a goal to win something that's the equivalent to the Kentucky Derby. It's much more limited, unlike the bronze medal, where the rider has many years to spread it out over many horses. It's a one shot thing. And so for people who set that goal, this talks back to the 100% confidence idea. They're going to do the best of their ability to get everything in their odds, and they're going to work as hard as they can. And so are hundreds of other people. So what it comes down to is when the 30 some odd horses make the finals, whatever that number is in that given year.

Speaker1:
Those people worked really hard with those horses to get to that one event. That's the equivalent of the Olympics or the Kentucky Derby or something like that. And they go to that one event and that's their one shot, and it's much more limited. And if it works, that's amazing. And if it doesn't, many of them go back and do it again. And I've been there when somebody has gone after it year after year after year after year, and we're talking decades of trying and they're still committed and they still haven't won it. But if you're ever there, when that person who has worked that many years does win it, it's an amazing experience. So even though they did everything in their power every single year, when the outcome of winning something is so limited it makes it really challenging odds. So even though everybody's doing 100% in every category they can, it's still very small odds and it's still very worth it to many, many people. Thanks again for your question. And one last reminder. Remember why you wanted the goal in the first place. When you think about achieving the goal, what is it that you admire about having achieved it? What's your why? That's what I have for you this week. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.

Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall. Com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

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