Episode 300: The Challenge of Choosing Change

Episode 300-The Challenge of Choosing Change.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Episode 300-The Challenge of Choosing Change.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker1:
When you're about to make a change that other people might not agree with, that can really feel challenging because on top of your own uncertainty that just surrounds making change in general, you'll also have other people's uncertainty or just flat disagreement with your choices.

Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall and I'm here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your own horses. This is episode 300. That is over five and a half years of weekly podcast Episodes. And if you had asked me back then, would I be podcasting five and a half years later? I would not have known what the answer would be. So what I want to talk about on the podcast today is choosing to change. And specifically the challenge of choosing change. I want to share with you moments where changing something seems like the best idea ever, but there may be some red flags around doing that. And I also want to share with you why choosing to make changes can often feel so challenging. So I'm going to go over change for what I'm going to call the wrong reasons. Change when it's exciting and change that other people might not agree with. In some of the changes that I'm about to talk about, it's amazing how resistant I was to the idea of change, especially when I stop and think about the idea that change is always happening. Basically, there are changes that come our way without us choosing them, and then there are changes that we choose. One of my favorite quotes about change is change alone is unchanging. And what I notice, at least with myself sometimes, is that it can feel like we can stop change if we try to keep everything the same. If I don't make any new decisions, if I just try to repeat the same thing, maybe I can keep things the same.

Speaker1:
I don't know how that's going for you, but it doesn't work so well for me. Things still keep changing, even if I try to hit pause and keep them all the same. And I think that's why this second quote pretty much sums it up. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I've been thinking about this topic for months now, as I've watched myself choose to make some pretty big changes, and it makes sense to me that choosing change would feel very challenging. Because change represents uncertainty. So here it is. Change is challenging because it brings up uncertainty. And yet change is always happening whether I choose it or not. And when I choose to make changes, it almost seems like more uncertainty is added to my life. So why would I choose to make changes? I know for me, over the last several months one of the reasons why I've chosen to make some changes is because I'm looking forward in my life. I'm looking forward two years, three years, five years, and I'm beginning to plan some of the things that I want to have happen in the future. And change is coming, whether I like it or not. If I plan some of those changes, I will actually be able to influence the direction that some of this goes.

Speaker1:
But before I go on to tell you about some of the changes that I've made that were exciting or that other people might not agree with, let me first tell you about how I know if I'm about to make a change for what I'm going to label the wrong reason. When I consider making changes, one red flag or warning sign for me Is if I'm about to make a change because I want to escape from something. This is a warning flag for me, and an example of that would be sitting down to record an episode of this podcast. If you've been a long time listener, you've heard me talk about the challenge of recording a podcast. In fact, if you go all the way back to the first episode of this podcast or the first ten episodes of this podcast, you'll notice quite a bit of a difference in my voice due to me being afraid, due to my hesitation, due to the uncertainty that surrounded beginning something new. And as much as it surprises some people when I tell them this, I have hit moments of resistance repeatedly throughout the years of recording this podcast, specifically around milestone episodes like episode 300, although as I sit here today recording this, there's not nearly as much resistance as I had at the end of the first year. And the resistance I had to continuing the podcast or when I hit episode 100.

Speaker1:
I remember my brain really arguing with me that I'd done enough. I didn't have anything else to talk about, and it tried to give me all kinds of reasons why I didn't need to go on with the podcast. Sitting here five and a half years later, I know that I could do this for another 300 episodes and continue to have things to talk about. And yet my brain will frequently offer me the idea that I could be done now. What's interesting to me about this is that I'm willing to consider the idea of changing what I do for weekly content. So for those of you who may be newer to me. I've been creating some version of weekly content for over a decade. In the beginning that was blog posts. At other times that has been videos. And for the last five and a half years it's been a weekly podcast. I'm still willing to change what I do for weekly content, but I'm not willing to stop doing weekly content. So when my brain offers me the idea that I don't need to go on with this podcast, I'm able to hear myself think that, hear and feel the resistance to sitting down, to creating an outline, to recording, to editing, to posting. And I'm willing to do all of that because of my commitment to creating weekly content. In that moment when the work feels so heavy, when I would rather go on a trail ride, or read a book, or take a nap, when my brain is really trying to talk me into the idea of stopping the podcast.

Speaker1:
My red flag is that I'm not willing to change what I'm doing to escape from something. In this case, it would be the work of sitting down, outlining, recording, editing, and posting a podcast. I would be willing to change to a different format with an intentional plan. This is what has made weekly content possible. This dance between the goal of creating weekly content and the resistance to creating weekly content. This has built a mental muscle that I have been honing for over a decade. And because I have navigated this dance of change or don't change. Do a podcast. Do something different. But you're going to be creating something weekly because I've been doing this for so long. I think this has influenced my view of change. And what's interesting is that it has influenced the way that I view changes that I choose, because that mental muscle that I have been building, when I have the goal and the resistance, has helped me understand myself when I'm in that conflict, because there are changes that we choose and there are changes that come that we don't choose. And I believe that the choices we have the power to make can help us build the muscle that then help us when those changes that we don't choose come our way.

Speaker1:
I understand why change feels challenging on many levels, even on the most basic level. Our brain's default setting is the motivational triad, which is conserve energy, seek pleasure, avoid pain, and change is uncertainty. And uncertainty is the opposite of the comfort that we find with the familiar. And I often have to keep that in mind when I'm choosing to make changes. So one change that I decided to make this year that falls into the exciting category, but it still carries uncertainty with it or the possibility of pain is my decision to breed Gabby. Gabby is now a little over two months in foal, and if you want to see a video of baby Gabby in utero. You can actually see it looks like a little tiny seahorse. I'll post that video on my website and on my Facebook page. I actually paid for the stud fee last fall for a horse named Electric Snow that I could breed Gabby to. And at the time of purchasing that breeding, it was mostly excitement. There was a little bit of uncertainty because it means that I will not be riding Gabby as much when she's big in foal, and that I will not be able to show her when she has a full outer side. So I was already navigating certain levels of uncertainty around breeding Gabby. Even last fall when I first bought the stud fee. But then this spring, when my husband's mare Lucy foaled in March, she actually had serious complications and ended up dying because of complications from foaling and navigating.

Speaker1:
That change that we did not choose was very challenging. And in the same time period that we were navigating Lucy's death and raising an orphan foal, this was the same time period when I was also hauling Gabby over to the vet to have her bred. Knowing that breeding complications can happen is a little different than having breeding complications happen to you. I actually believe that the work that I do on a weekly basis of facing the resistance to recording a podcast or doing any number of things that could be choosing, exercising or any other things that I consistently have some kind of resistance to that. I also navigate my way through. I believe these are the things that have built resilience in my decision making process. So when I look at the idea of breeding, Gabby and I know the risks of breeding firsthand as we are raising an orphan foal right now, as I navigate those things, I realize that every thought my brain offers me is not true. That when my brain thinks there would be a safer choice to make somewhere, that that's not always true. And I know this also firsthand, because I've had horses that have had death and injury from numerous different things, because I've owned horses for many decades. So there were things completely out of my control that many of you have experienced with your horses.

Speaker1:
So it's not completely true that I could choose enough things to completely keep them safe. That's just not a true thought. So there's a perspective that happens when I start to step back and think about, can I really control all of these risks? Which things can I build some steps in to make things safer, and in which ways is there just change and risk when you are doing life? And then I recognize again that this is a very similar cycle to my resistance to doing weekly work. And then my celebration at the end of the week when I've done that weekly work and the celebration now that I'm five and a half years later, 300 episodes later, and I'm so glad that I have not given in to that resistance, and that I have chosen the path that has led me here, and my choice to breed Gabby is a choice that is impacting me to three and five years from now. So as I make some of these choices. It's not just a fleeting thing. In a moment, it is me looking into the future and knowing that I would love to ride a foal or several foals from Gabby. And the only way I'm going to be able to do that is if I choose to breed her, and I face the uncertainty of what could happen. So I've shared with you moments where change might seem like the best idea ever.

Speaker1:
Like you don't need to record a podcast this week, but there are also some red flags around that thinking and my idea that I'm willing to change, but only with an intentional plan. I'm not willing to change just to escape the work in front of me. And I've also shared with you why change can feel so challenging. We've got the motivational triad, the avoid pain, seek pleasure, conserve energy route, and we've got just that feeling of uncertainty that can come up when making changes. I've shared with you the news that Gabby's in foal, and while it's exciting, it also carries a certain level of uncertainty around that change. And finally, I would like to share with you the idea that there may be changes that you choose, that other people might not agree with when you're about to make a change that other people might not agree with, that can really feel challenging because on top of your own uncertainty that just surrounds making change in general, you'll also have other people's uncertainty or just flat disagreement with your choices. This has been in my mind because this spring I've been contemplating selling a couple of my horses, and because my horses are so publicly known, I realize that people are going to have thoughts about me selling my horses. And I'd love to say that this doesn't influence me, but it's there as something that I have to navigate because it's there and I have some resistance in me to making those changes.

Speaker1:
I don't take lightly the idea of selling one of my horses. So again, if I'm going to do something like that, I'm going to do it because I am looking further down the path. I'm looking two years out, I'm looking three years out, I'm looking five years further down the path, and I'm looking at the path that I'm on, the path that I want to be on. And I'm looking at the path that the horse is on. And inside of all of those personal reasons, I make my decisions around when is the right time to sell one of my horses. I was tempted to record an entire podcast, and if enough of you ask, maybe I'll still do that, but for this podcast, I'll keep it on the shorter side. So I actually chose to sell Presto, and he is the foal that I adopted from Last Chance Corral. I've had him for eight years now, but in the last year or two, I had begun to suspect that our paths were headed different directions. And that was an interesting thing for me to reflect on in the moment, because it actually brought me all the way back to the day that I chose to adopt him. So sometimes when you're getting ready to contemplate a change, there's actually a benefit to going back to the beginning, to how you began down this path to begin with. And for me, with Presto, I adopted him because I had been a long time follower of Last Chance Corral, and I had always wanted to raise an orphan foal that I adopted from there.

Speaker1:
So eight years ago, when Presto popped up on the Last Chance Corral page, I decided he was the one. And now was the time and the only real criteria I had for choosing the foal that I wanted to adopt was that I did not want it to be a Quarter horse, a stock breed. That's primarily what I ride, because focusing on reining means that I'm going to ride primarily Quarter Horses. And so when I chose him, I chose him because he was not a Quarter horse and because he was really cute and he had spots. But when I got thinking back about those selection criteria eight years later, it makes sense to me now in hindsight, how our paths might not line up as clearly anymore. And while trail riding him hundreds of miles each summer has been really enjoyable for both of us, I began to realize that our paths didn't line up when I start looking. Two, three, and five years into the future when I look back and I think that my criteria eight years ago when I adopted him was that I wanted to adopt a foal from Last Chance Corral and raise an orphan. It sounds shortsighted. And yet, even when I take myself back to then, I also know that in the back of my mind, I have done the work around being okay with selling horses.

Speaker1:
I know that this work is very challenging for many of you who would never consider selling your horse, and for you, that might be the best decision you could make. For me, that has not been the consistent decision that I make. I know that I can train horses well, I love teaching, I love teaching people, I love teaching horses, and there are days when I want nothing more than a full barn full of training horses so I can meet more horses and influence more horses. And yet, because I don't train for the public anymore and I ride my own horses, what that often means is that I'm going to train a horse to a certain point, and then, because I don't want to own a hundred of them, I will eventually need to open up a spot for a new horse to come in if I want to go through that training process again. And at the end of the day, it's kind of a beautiful thing because when I sell a horse like Presto, or when I consider selling a horse like Willow, I know that these horses are well trained and that they can go on, and that they can be a blessing to the next rider that has them. So even though eight years ago when I adopted Presto, I didn't have a long term plan in mind. I also did know that this was a possibility, and yet still choosing to make this change was not easy.

Speaker1:
Choosing to make this change involved a lot of tears. And if I choose to sell Willow by the end of this year, which is what I'm considering, there will again be a whole roller coaster of emotions. And that choice won't necessarily be easy, but I do believe that I can create win win win situations where the horse can find an amazing home, where I can open up my home to another horse that can learn with me, and that the person who takes this horse will have an amazing experience with this horse. And I can do this because I believe many of you out there listening could be amazing homes. Sometimes when people struggle to sell horses, it is that uncertainty of what could happen that makes you want to protect the horse. I can feel it too. And yet, I also know that in a way, I can't protect them even when they're under my care. And I truly believe that there's not just one of you out there. There's not just ten of you out there, that there's not just a hundred of you out there. There are many, many, many more than that of you listening to this podcast who would be amazing homes for my horses. And this is the certainty that I remember when I'm navigating the uncertainty of making a change like this. And I also understand that other people might not agree.

Speaker1:
I can feel it coming with the orphans, with Lefty and Stormy. I've read the comments under the posts when I post Lefty and Stormy running together in the field, and people say I hope they stay together forever. And I know that people will not agree when I ween them from each other and when I separate them. And I'll do it anyway, because I believe that it's in their best interest to navigate those changes. Because change is coming. Change alone is unchanging. Whether I'm navigating a change that has an energy of excitement around it, like the idea of breeding Gabby and having a foal in the spring, or whether I'm navigating a change that I believe other people won't necessarily agree with. At the end of the day, what I know either way is that I'm building a strength in me. I'm building a resilience as I choose what I change and what I don't change. I know that sorting through the certainty and uncertainty and accepting the things I cannot change, changing the things that I think will take me on a path that I want to be on two years, three years and five years from now. And the wisdom to know when I'm making a change simply to escape from work. These are the things that help build my resilience, because change alone is unchanging. That's what I have for you this week. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.

Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall. Com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

Sonix is the world’s most advanced automated transcription, translation, and subtitling platform. Fast, accurate, and affordable.

Automatically convert your mp3 files to text (txt file), Microsoft Word (docx file), and SubRip Subtitle (srt file) in minutes.

Sonix has many features that you’d love including world-class support, upload many different filetypes, secure transcription and file storage, powerful integrations and APIs, and easily transcribe your Zoom meetings. Try Sonix for free today.