“People are often afraid to move from the dreaming phase to the learning phase, because they think they have to choose one or the other.” Stacy Westfall Click To Tweet
In episode 3, I talked about the three stages that riders go through in their horsemanship journey. I also discussed a little bit about responsibility. In today’s part 2, I’m diving a little deeper into how I think responsibility and accountability fit into the three stages.
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[01:04] I send out a weekly email and get a lot of feedback. I received some helpful feedback when it comes to explaining responsibility.
[01:21] The dreaming phase is when people enter owning horses and they just expect it to work. I called this my Disney phase.
[01:40] The learning phase is nuts and bolts. It’s how things work.
[01:57] The balance face is when you can hold on to both ideas the dreaming and the learning. And move back and forth between the two.
[02:07] There is some resistance to responsibility in people who are unaware that they are afraid to give up the dreaming phase.
[02:21] Feedback from people who are afraid of being mean to their horses.
[03:39] You can have both phases at the same time.
[04:45] In the dreaming phase, the responsibility is always with the horse. People think things are magically going to work.
[05:07] When we move into the learning phase, the responsibility shifts over completely to the rider. The rider feels like they are 100% responsible for whatever happens.
[05:30] In the dreaming phase the horses have no accountability. They have us hoping, but if it doesn’t work it just doesn’t work.
[05:46] In the learning phase, we are responsible, but we’re not sure what that means as far as holding the horse accountable.
[06:41] Natural push back from a horse makes people reluctant to set a boundary. People worry if their horse will still like them.
[07:10] Think about whether it’s possible even in human relationships to have great accountability breed more trust.
[07:33] I know of a high school teacher who sets very high standards for their students. This teacher ended up being the most respected person there.
[07:48] Somewhere in the mix of responsibility and accountability, we breed this storm of respect.
[08:00] When you are working with your horse you are each 100% responsible.
[08:25] You will have to work out the consequences inside your relationship.
[08:58] Stand outside the pasture and watch and see how your horse reacts and what emotions they are going through.
[09:23] Horses that challenge lines are telling you something about who they are when you go to work with them.
[09:32] Stop and think about how you are interpreting the things that I am saying when I talk about the dreaming stage, the learning stage, and the balancing stage or when I bring up words like responsibility and accountability and respect. How do these words fit in with what you are experiencing with your horse?“Watch a horse in the herd, and you will actually know a lot about the horse that you are going to work with.” Stacy Westfall Click To Tweet
Links and Resources:
- Blog post on Stacy wrote about the 4 Square model: Quickly Evaluating Problems with Horses and Riders