SWS002.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.
Hello, I'm Stacey Westfall, and I teach people how to understand, enjoy and successfully train their own horses in this first season of the podcast.
I'm going to be discussing issues that frequently affect the riders thinking. One of the tools that I use to help people understand the issues they're having is something that I created and I call the Foursquare model. It's a really simple tool for breaking down complex problems into four separate quadrants. The model is actually pretty simple. You can draw on a napkin and you would simply draw a plus sign and then you would put the rider's mind in one quadrant. The rider's body in another quadrant, the horse's mind in another and the horse's body in another. I'll have an illustration of this in the show, notes for this podcast, which you can find over at Stacee Westfall dot com. In this season of the podcast, I'm focusing on the writer's mind. In today's episode, I'm specifically discussing the idea of leadership and how it's different from simply getting along and how this idea impacts the way that we show up with our horses. I think the interesting thing about this topic is how it walks the line between the mental idea of leadership versus the physical execution. And again, in this season of the podcast, I'm sticking to the mental side of the discussion, even though in a subject like this, I'm really tempted to bring in the physical execution. Don't worry. That'll come up in another episode, another season. As you can see, this is gonna be why I'm breaking this down, using the Foursquare model so that we can get clarity in each quadrant before we put it altogether and use it.
So let's start out with two different things that we're just going to accept for this conversation. And one is that horses are hardwired to look for a leader and that if they don't find a leader, they're compelled to step into that role. And have a little side note here in my notes that says even if that's not their natural place, that could be a whole podcast of its own. But what I mean there is that if horses were running in large herds, there would be natural leaders and natural followers. And it is possible to end up with a group of horses that are more naturally followers. But since there's no leader, you can actually end up with a horse in the role of a leadership that's not as comfortable being there. Again, whole nother subject will hold off on that. So again, horses are hardwired to look for a leader. If they don't find one, they feel compelled to step into the role. And then this is the big one for this episode. Some horses are more mild mannered and some are more strong-willed. I would ask you to simply accept those two things for the sake of this conversation and then reflect back and make your own decisions.
When the podcast is over. So Jane wrote to me and she says, Hi, Stacy. I love the troubleshooting chart. And my problem is, number three, my Horsfall follow and even sometimes lead down the trail. But when it comes to going around a ring, he just stands. It's like he knows what I want, but he just doesn't want to go. Your solution is to make him go longer. If I can't go one lap, how can I get 10? And Jane is actually referring to a free download that I have on the Web site. And it was just a real quick chart with ideas and things to get questions and conversations and and thoughts flowing, which obviously it did, which is why Jane wrote to me. And what I think is really interesting about this is I specifically I'm looking at the line that says it's like he knows what I want, but he just doesn't want to go. There was a lot more in there and we can unpack more. But let's keep going for just a minute. Let's think about this. Natural horsemanship added the idea that horses had emotions and that if we recognize these emotions, we can then use them to change the horse. So it was a big shift from decades ago when people were using physical force and sometimes even abusive training techniques. So in a great way, natural horsemanship has added this idea that the horses have emotions.
We can recognize these emotions and we can use them to change the horse and interact with the horse. But if I were going to say that, there might have been a negative effect. It's that some people have used this idea as a reason to. Just what I'm gonna say, I'm doing air quotes here. You can't see me to just get along. And I actually am not blaming natural horsemanship because I truly believe there have always been people who believed that just getting along was gonna be a good idea. But I think nowadays, sometimes it's more wrapped up in the term natural horsemanship. They almost use that to justify it. And the thing that air quotes again, getting along really lacks is leadership. And we already said horses are hardwired for leadership and they exist in herds where they have that structure and the structure includes leaders. So then when we break this into smaller herds, meaning you and your horse, then it brings up some different issues. And leadership is is one of those things. And I want to discuss for just a minute the term getting along. There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with your horse. I love that. I have something that feels like you could. Some people might label it a friendship, a relationship. This interaction to me, what I always want to make sure comes across clearly is that there is always an element of leadership for me in the relationship with my horse, even though I absolutely fully want to know them as who they are.
I don't think those things contradict as much as people think they might. I think sometimes people think of leadership more in the role of bullying. But for me, leadership is more about actually taking the responsibility inside that relationship. So I am responsible for the horse's safety. I'm responsible for being able to predict and see things coming ahead of time. I don't expect my horse to understand the natural workings of a highway or other things. So I am the leader because I'm ultimately the one that's in charge. And if something were to happen, I'm betting 100 percent of you guys listening would feel like you were responsible if the horse got hurt. And that's because in that way you're taking leadership. But I think what happens is in other ways, people are less sure of themselves because a lot of times people are in this constant learning process. I'm more confident because I've learned more. And so it makes it easier for me to be a clear leader across the board. Let's pull this back in. I'm starting to talk a lot of theory and I want to make sure you guys are are following me. So Amy wrote in to me and she said, I have a new horse that I made sure I rode before I purchased.
And he did fine. I took someone that was very experienced with me when I looked at him. I even took him on a trail ride. He was fine on the 20 minute trail ride. I was told he came from Texas and was on a ranch there. The problem is he's dead. Any type of pressure, including the whip, he will lead and load nicely beside me, but doesn't want to move. When asked to go forward, either undersell or on the ground to lunge literally just stands there as if the whip is not even touching him. I can't bring myself to use the whip on him anymore. What's going on? I don't want to sell him, and I don't want to have him keep going from home to home. Is there any way to fix this? So let's slow down and look at this just a little bit. Again, I said right off the bat this subject of leadership was going to be one of the trickier ones to untangle the mental side from the physical side, because as you can see, they're all wrapped up in here. So let's pull just a few lines out of here. I can't bring myself to use the whip on him anymore. What's going on? So this is this is her stating this is the mental, emotional thing that she's going through right now.
And this would be so much easier if I were with them and could see the horse because this is where it becomes a gray zone. First of all, when you've got horses exhibiting this type of stuff, you always want to make sure that you've had a thorough vet check and made sure there's nothing physical going on. Once they've been cleared of physical, which very many of them are, then you want to look. And you want to see what else could be going on here. So one thing this shows up in the beginning of this is he did fine in the beginning. Someone who was experienced looked at him. They said he did fine. She wrote him personally on the 20 minute trail ride. And I'm gonna guess that during that trail ride, he was moving forward. So something has shifted between this original ride and what she's experiencing now in for me, one of the most common things I find is this is what I will call grandmama's rules and I call it grandmoms rules, because that way we can all kind of say the inside human relationships. Very little kids can quickly understand that there's a difference between what certain adults will allow and if very young children can identify that Grandmama's rules are different than mom and dad's rules. And we're just making this up that when you walk into grandma's house.
Her rules apply. And if grandma says you can jump on the bed, even the mom and dad don't. Typically, Grandma Trump's mom and dad in this example not saying this happens everywhere. Then the first things that kids do is they get this big smile on their face and they run and go do what they can't do. And they're not being mean. They're just using what's right there in front of them. And I think often this happens with our horses and it kind of lightens it up if you realize that little kids do the same thing, too. So let's just stick into the mental side of this before we work. Remember, we're trying to avoid this physical side of it. So I have actually seen people at clinics with me where I was asking them to tap on the cannon bone using a stick and string to ask the horse to back up. And one horse and handler stands out in my mind because it was very early on when I was first teaching. And this woman was participating. And I was walking around the group and she was tapping on the horse's leg. And she said to me, I feel terribly guilty. This feels like I'm hurting my horse. And everything in her body language confirmed that that's what she was experiencing. And I looked at the situation and I said, DCO, his head is down and his eyes are mostly shut and he's mostly asleep before you reach pain.
He's going to open his eyes and be awake. And so what was happening in that situation was that the guilt and fear that this handler was feeling about tapping on the cannon bone was actually covering up the fact that the body language of the horse was not reporting that this was a painful thing. And I showed her that she could tap on her own shins and that it wasn't a painful thing and it was very easy to ignore. And that's where one level of this and there could be many levels. Again, we're trying to break this down. One level of this can be that guilt can affect riders and what they're willing to ask for. And again, back in the beginning, we talked about natural horsemanship, giving us the language and the tools to admit that the horses have different emotional states and that we can use those. But I think what we need to acknowledge is that if the horse is state of mind is going to impact the training a lot. We're going to need to also admit that some of them are more strong willed. And sometimes with strong willed, you will get horses that are more willing to question what would fall inside the normal range of horses like normal horse would move if you were tapping like this.
And this one is saying, nope. What are you going to do about this? And so I just want to plant the seed that this is something you need to consider, which is why when you have the experienced person there, then that experience, person's presence can sometimes be enough for the horse to be like, yeah, this other set of rules is is in play. But what I want you to be thinking of is when you're approaching the idea of leadership, what is your first gut reaction when I say you need to be a better leader? And how do you show up with your horse? Do you show up feeling guilty when you ask your horse to do something? Where? Is the line I have got a line of. How much a workhorse, how hard I work a horse and that is in my head, that is in my body, that is in what I'm willing to do. But my line is probably higher then than quite a few people that own maybe just one horse and haven't really pushed that hard. And this is no different than athletes. You know, athletes push their bodies harder than most people do. And that's just because they've got more experience there. So first, do you feel guilty when you ask your horse to do something? Another question.
Do you take all of the responsibility without leaving any for the horse? So is the rider trying too hard to be perfect? So, you know, is that rider trying so hard that they're actually questioning their own part in this and and not giving that horse any responsibility? So in this example, I don't know if a bear came after this horse, is it going to move and get out of the way or is it going to stand there and be eaten? Like, is there some kind of a line where the horse has some responsibility, just some food for thought? And then maybe you're listening to this podcast and you actually have really good leadership skills with the horses, but maybe you're going to start something new. Maybe you've been thinking about becoming a horse trainer or something like that and you now realize that you don't feel like a leader when you're talking to these prospective horse owners that are going to send you horses and training because there's some kind of lack of clarity in leadership there. And so these are just kind of interesting thoughts to wrap around some of the interactions that you're having with the horses. I'm a big believer in writing things down. So your challenge for this week is to write down one place where you have really great leadership skills and one place where you need to improve.
And this is an exercise you can do in two minutes if you want to share it so that you have some accountability.
Then go to the show notes for this episode at Stacy Westfall dot com and leave them there. And I promise we will come back around and talk about the physical aspect of this in more detail when we get to that season. Thanks for listening.
If you enjoy listening to Stacie's podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall dot com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.
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Thank you Stacy! I enjoy your topics and honesty. This has helped me a lot with that balance.
As a teenager I taught riding lessons at a local boarding barn. This was an issue I had with certain lesson ponies and horses. They would behave beautifully for some riders and refuse to move a hoof for others. Seasoned lesson ponies quickly learned which students they didn’t have to work for. As a teenager I didn’t understand it and struggled to help students who were not natural leaders. Later I found that ground work, specifically round pen work on a basic level, helped to boost student’s leadership skills and improve communication. Great podcast, can’t wait to hear more!
Wow, very interesting!
Podcast was great… One thing I didn’t expect was enjoying reading the other listener comments this much! I am very guilty of having “Grandma’s rules”… I find that I want the connection to be there so I don’t enforce my personal space rules enough. I have a 8 month old mule baby and these podcasts are making me re-think a lot of things I have allowed her to do… no more “Grandma” time from here on out!
Another great podcast – this time about Leadership vs Getting Along. Leadership does not come from fear or anger but from fairness and firmness. We must be black and white with what we want our horse to do and have clear direction and focus when asking our horses. It is the horses responsibility to find the right answer and our responsibility to reward the horse for offering the right answer – no matter how small always reward the slightest try. Horses are so perceptive and read our body language whilst we are walking down the raceway, unhitching the gate, and entering the paddock – they have already picked up on where we are in the leadership stakes. It is so true about when you mention the experienced handler vs the not so knowledgeable. Have heard many stories where people send their horses to a trainer and when they get their horse back the horse is awesome, however things change very quickly because the horse knows where the owner is at and unfortunately due to this many trainers get bad reviews. It is also very true that if we improve our leadership skills in every day life this will also reflect on us being a better leader for our horse.
I absolutely agree that horses will naturally look for a leader! With my clients, the first day I work with them I have them show me the problems they have and what they want to change. So far, all of them have had horses that don’t lead respectfully and act like their owner isn’t there. I will take a hold of the lead rope, and the horse’s head will come down, they’ll stay next to me but not on top of me, they’ll stop when I stop, etc. The owners will look at me with disbelief and say something along the lines of “how did you do that? You didn’t do any training!” And I tell them, a horse will be a great follower if you’ll be a great leader. Then in further sessions I will teach them skills to become a confident leader and become more aware of their body language. But it is definitely a “mind game.”
Thank you so much for explaining leadership in this podcast, Stacy! I’m really good at being a confident leader on the ground, especially when leading my horse, but I lack confidence in my leadership under saddle. I go back and forth between being too soft (and my horse doesn’t understand what I’m asking) to being too rough (and I feel like I’m hurting them). You’re right, it’s definitely a mental and physical thing!
I really like how you define leadership! Before listening to this podcast, I knew that leadership was important, but I was unsure how to approach it (from a “bully/ bossy/ telling them what to do” approach or a “friendship/ asking them to do something” approach. Now, I think that consistency, a mixture of the two approaches, and education about body language (pain vs. sleepiness) is the best way to think about it. You’re completely right though, it’s very difficult to separate the rider’s mind from their body. Thank you so much for making these podcasts, Stacy!
You create a much stronger bond with horses when they want you to be their leader and they want to follow you and please you.
First at all thanks for making this podcast, I love it! In this one one of my mares instantly was in my mind. She is the boss in the herd, and although she never ever even tried to boss me around the bad way (kicking, biting, threatening) she wouldnt give up her position when I started working with her, there were days I sat there crying because she wont do anything, so I started to go on the trail, put down the reins and wait for her to go, it got better and better all I needed to do was to give her something in return and it resulted in giving her some space to make decisions sometimes so then she would let me be in charge again. These are tiny things that just made a team out of us and we now have a 100% trust relationship, when she gets scared of something she follows me without questioning and the other way I feel she takes care of me too.
Great information and I like how you explain it. Grandmas rules is definitely a thing and I often think of horses like a 3 year old, smart and always trying to get their way, I am a grandma so I relate to this ? I liked the part about reading the horse and guilt with putting pressure on. Makes sense ! Looking forward to more podcasts!
Hi Stacy. This podcast hits the mark and not only applies to horse training and the relationship with your horse but also life in general. I began to think about times I chose to “get along” instead of setting clear boundaries and expectations for both my horse and people. All benefit from the understandings and truth that result from kind and respectful leadership. This podcasts makes some great points and causes me to think and reexamine how I interact not only with my horse but with my fellow team members at work. Well done and Thank you.
Leadership is key! I agree hole heartedly.
I like your example about grandma’s rules. Good example and makes me laugh. I have learned that I have to have good leadership skills with Hildy and I always have to have a plan when I ride her–not necessarily on the trails but in the round pen or in the arena I have to have a plan. I have to be really focused and be thinking about what I want during that session. She needs guidance and reassurance from me. The instance that I am not sure about something–she knows. I love how we know each other so well–Of course there is always room for improvement and always new skills to learn but in general she knows when I am serious and have my game face/body language on and she also knows when I don’t. She has me trained in certain instances. LOL For instance, I used to ride on the trail with friends and there maybe something that I think may spoke her. I would look at it and think to myself–I bet she is going to spoke at that–sure enough she did. Now I don’t even look at scary things on the trail and she ignores them. It is AMAZING how horses can ready the riders mind/body language. I witness it all the time.
Another great session. I agree and constantly teach that leadership is key. Either you are leading or your horse is. My friends and students know what they need to do but don’t want to be unkind. I try to lead by example and show them that their horse is capable of being accountable. They say that “sure he will behave for you”. I think sharing this episode with them will be one more example of how their horse can be accountable to them too.
I like the Grandma rules example, I often see this as I work with New horse owners. Horses are so smart and figure out quickly who has what rules and what they can get away with. Thank you for the pod cast?
I love the Grandma’s rule explanation it is a good reminder to me not to be to much of a Grandma and take on more leadership when it is needed.
In the roundpen with my rescue i have great leadership, he gets it and knows I am in charge. Out of it he has become more pushy and I tend to let him. I need to be the leader all the time and not just “at work.”
Love this one I’m a leader at work and I bring that home with me. I really ask the horses nothing that is beyond their capabilities. I enjoy seeing the love and see the respect my horses have for me.
This one speaks to my soul. It’s like you looked inside my brain and said everything I had ever thought. With most horses I have no trouble being the leader… but my mare and I always fight each other. And I feel guilty whenever I put the saddle on her. But also feel guilty when I don’t. I’ve really gotten my confidence shook on her when she tried to buck me off on the trail. She has no confidence when I ride her. And I blame myself for it. Can’t wait to listen to more.
Stacy, I really appreciated the inside in this podcast! After having lost my horse of many, many years… The one who basically raised me… I have actually struggled with this quite a bit with my younger horse since his passing. Being so desperate for the connection I had with the past horse, I almost expected to double the passion I put into the horse I’m still blessed enough to have. As a result, there were definitely times when he thought he had to step into the leadership role since I was no longer really doing that. It’s amazing how I can go from having the full attention and respect of three horses all at once to being a wimp, but that’s almost what happened! Thank you for this great reminder to keep in mind. Though I’m not in the crummy place I was just a year or two ago with him, and I’m definitely in the leadership role more than I’m not, I still find myself sometimes being a lot softer than I need to be for his own good mind and benefit.
I love learning, thank you so much. I am a leader to my horses because they know they can count on me, I am a not a leader when I let them have their way. Homework accepted. :O)
I need to listen to this every day and remind myself that I am the leader and stop being afraid to show it!
When my soul mate buckskin died of old age, I was in the process of training my App that I ride now. While grieving the loss of Buck, I was lulled into letting Apache into the leadership position. I guess it was because Buck and I had been together so long it was truly a partnership, although he did accept me as the leader. It seems I was allowing Apache into the partner position before he was able to fully understand my leadership. Things eventually worked out, but it was a long process. I wish I had seen this podcast way back then.
I’ve seen how giving the horse responsibility in the simple task of leading, makes them a different horse. By trusting your horse to stay next to you and correcting them if they don’t (rather than always holding them next to you on a short lead to make them stay there) can very quickly change a horse that is dragging you around into a polite, easy to lead horse. I try to always vary my speed when leading my horse anywhere to help them pay attention and I lead them on a loose rope. Thank you for another very informative podcast!
Great podcast, just subscribed so I can keep up with your posts. Merry Christmas!!
I am one of the people who try to hard to be perfect, and I don’t give my horses much responsibility. I have to good leadership role with my two older mares, we get along great. I still am working on developing it with my youngster – I got sick right after he started under saddle, so my trainer has done all the work with him, and I haven’t. This coming summer I am hoping that will change!!!
That was another awesome podcast
Again that was super Stacy!!!?
And was exactly what I needed to hear as I continue to work with my boy!! I was thinking that I was being to hard on him because hes a rescue, but we have come a long ways in a in a short period of time and I think hes just waiting on me to push him the right direction and be a gentle but strong leader!!?
I’ve got to keep my head thinking about what he needs most, not just my heart about all hes gone through.. it’s over now ard he has a great home with lots of love and I think a pretty decent trainer? lord willing we should go a long ways together!!
Thanks again!!!? God bless you and yours this Christmas season!!
I want willing partnership from my horses. Since everything I ask of them involves them making my choices become their own, it is my responsibility to be the leader they naturally want a relationship with. The unity I want with my horses requires that I hold up my end of the responsibilities in the relationship, and be the leader. The ideas that we can go without that seem very unnatural to me after watching horses at pasture and in the wild all my life. That being said, one of my strengths as a leader is that my leadership is adaptable to the individual horse’s needs. Leadership is not a “do what I say” authoritarian thing, especially with some horses more than others. It is part of a working, two way relationship where we both get to utilize and develop our strengths. As one example, I am a great leader at gates and while horses are at pasture or otherwise freely being together. Leading through gates, they do not push or pull or otherwise try to lead me. They stay soft, they turn around and ‘help’ me close the gate. If I am bringing one horse in or out, the others are to give space and be polite. And do. At pasture, they are not allowed to push other horses around when people are there. I take the time and give the consistency to make sure they be aware and safe around people even while free and in their own personal space. An example of poor leadership from me? Standing still for mounting. I can train it very well in horses I am not keeping, and in horses I start for myself. But pretty soon I inadvertently train my own riding horses to walk off as I mount. I KNOW the answer to this well. I break the habit in myself and them repeatedly! Lol. It is one thing that I find myself only ever temporarily improving on. Years of consistency go by, and then I start letting it happen again. I subconsciously can’t wait to get on and go, have a hurried feeling, and then let them walk off and I just start riding happily. Which of course teaches them to do just that, when what I really want is for them to stand still properly and wait for my intended cue to go. Putting my foot in the stirrup is not my intended due to go 😉
Love this! Another great podcast
Lots of food for thought! I have a strong willed horse but she also is low on the totem pole in the herd, or as you said a follower, and not the leader in the herd. So it’s an interesting dynamic that she shows up so strong willed when in the human/horse relationship. It lets me know maybe my leadership skills need to be strengthened. The other point was that not all the responsibility is mine, some belongs to the horse. In a lot of circles it is common to say that if anything goes wrong it is always the human and never the horse. But I think sometimes, it is the horse…. Lots to think about!
Yes! I have waaay better leadership on the ground! All goes back to one of the 4 quadrants- Riders Mind!
I’ve gotten myself so stuck (literally) lol with pushing her under the saddle. And the little turkey butt knows it!! We have an amazing on the ground relationship, like really truly is magical at times. But I’ve got a mental block at having to be more forceful to get her moving… So she plays this game with me where she will slow poke barley budge and than when I persist she’ll move but go into a full run thinking I won’t like it and get tired and want her to stop, but it backfires on her because we get in a good rhythm together and have a little fun for a couple minutes until she realizes that wasn’t her plan and than she goes to slow poke barley budge again. And than the whole cycle starts over. Until she wins and I do get tired of trying to get her to go… Cuz I don’t want to have to kick her…
One place I have great leadership skills is im school, but the place I need to improve them is at home. Thank you for your input!
You can’t become your horse’s master if you do not first become you own. Your podcasts make me think of good points, and focus more on myself than on my horse all the time.
I really thought your clinic example highlights that people really need to move beyond their feelings of “guilt” when working with horses, to really become an active participant who can watch and interpret a horse’s behavior correctly. When a person can really monitor their horse’s expressions and correctly interpret what a horse is thinking, and then react to the horse accordingly, then they can become a leader their horse can respect.
Thank you for another thought provoking pod cast! I often give people with little or no experience a little lesson and if they are doing well, a short trail ride. One of the 1st things I stress is, there is only one boss. It will be you or the horse. It better be you. Be kind, but be firm and give clear signals.
I remember one instance where a girl on a borrowed horse would not cross a creek. She was not being firm and it escalated to a point where the horse was really misbehaving badly, dancing around on the bank and he actually reared up! At that point the owner asked the girl to dismount and the owner got in the saddle. Before her butt actually touched saddle, the horse gingerly moved forward crossing the creek! He knew the boss was back in the saddle! It was like he was saying, “Oh! you meant THIS creek! No problem!” Horses are alot smarter than we sometimes give them credit for.
Great ideas!
The place I have NO problem being the leader is in the stall. There are behaviors I expect: Go to the far wall when I bring your grain in, NO crowding me, NO rearing, kicking, biting, etc.
My horses lead quietly, know the routine when I bring them in from the pasture…I call them my Fine Gentlemen.
Where I have trouble is when we have a “difference of opinion” during a ride. If I can’t get them to see it my way after several attempts, then I blame myself that I am not asking in a way that they understand, so I go back to something I know that they can do. Then I spend the next several days trying to figure out HOW to ask properly…but the requested task still was not achieved. Keep it hoof side down!
Thanks so much for this!I too am guilty of thinking I’m asking too much and constantly check myself for that.I understand it a whole lot better now? Blessings!!
Your insight into what seems so simple and yet is missed by so many of us is spectacular!
My daughters are all inspired by what you do and how you do it.
Thank you for being a great teacher and opening up the minds of all of us.
I love your training ideas!
I never try to be a leader for my horse … together we create unity, we are partners for good and for bad … hard work made us inseparable … and every trip to the arena or in the area is a pleasure for me as well and for him
Wonderful example on the leadership vs getting along.
It makes me think of the relationship between a Mother and child. The mother is the leader to her child for direction, knowledge, help, and for care. A Mother truly cares and loves their child but there are times when she needs to be stern, maybe even discipline in some way to teach the child a lesson. Many of time it’s for the safety of the child. There are times where the child could be angry at the mother but at the end of the day, there is no one else the child will run to first for love and nurture.
I believe a horse and owner relationship could be similar.
Leadership is like being a mom. You have to be lovingly firm. I let them know by the tone of my voice if that’s acceptable. Like your kids every horse is different. Some you just look at and others you push you as far as they can. Once they submit sometimes they become the better horse.
ANother great topics to listen to to learn. Thanks
Excellent distinction made of leadership versus placating.
This has helped me figure out why I let my horses get away with more than I let other people’s horses get away with! I want to get along with mine so they get a little spoiled, but other horses I feel like I have more of responsibility to be a leader and get the right responses so I don’t spoil them at all.
I feel like such a big part of leadership is communication over command. In communicating with my horse I would like to hope that my aids to him are communicating rather than commanding. It should be a partnership. I do feel like I am a really good leader to my horses and I think that in working with multiple horses it has allowed me to expand my skillset and understanding in so many ways…but I am always seeking techniques to communicate with my horses that require the least amount of micro managing. Allowing the horse to be responsible for themselves instead of instructing every little nuance. A question I often ask to myself is, how can I communicate to this horse that he doesn’t have to do is much as hes doing without confusing him? How can I make him understand that the right thing is easy and the wrong thing is hard? Some aspects of horse training are easier to brainstorm than others! I love horsemanship theories. They really get my mind turning! I like to delve into the instinctual side of horses and the why and how of everything.
Stacy, once again you nailed it so beautifully in this podcast. I love how you helped the rider to understand what their role of leadership looks like as a rider in such an informative way. I also liked the illustration you gave about the horse having responsibility too such as if a bear attacked the horse and the horse didn’t run. It’s a good reminder that there is a give and take in any relationship! How you touched on how guilt can keep us from being the leader we should be was very empowering! Thank you!
I like what you have challenged us to do. Leadership with your horse it so important! I look forward to your podcasts, their awesome. I’m so glad your doing this. Thank you!