Episode 1: Fear vs Danger: Riders can improve if they know the difference
Welcome to season one of the Stacy Westfall podcast. I’m Stacy Westfall, and I’ll be teaching you why horses do what they do and action steps for creating clear confident communication with your horses. In this first season, I’ll be discussing issues that frequently affect the way that riders think.
I use a tool called the four square model. The purpose of this model is to simplify complex problems and break them down into smaller actionable pieces. The four quadrants include the rider’s mind, the rider’s body, the horses mind, and the horse’s body. Season one will focus on the rider’s mind. Today’s episode is about fear. I talk about how it is different than danger and some of the ways that it affects riders.
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Show Notes
[00:34] Season one will be about issues that frequently affect the way riders think.
[00:47] One of the tools that I use is the four-square model to simplify complex problems by breaking them down into smaller actionable pieces.
[01:05] The model is created with four quadrants which include the rider’s mind, the rider’s body, the horse’s mind, and the horse’s body.
[01:43] This first season of the podcast will be focusing on the rider’s mind. Today, I’ll be discussing fear and how it is different than danger and some of the ways that it affects riders.
[02:30] Fear is something that you experience in your mind. Danger means that you are actually in physical danger.
[02:59] Melanie writes in about having a fear of riding.
[03:51] Think about having fear and anxiety about riding.
[04:21] Fear in people’s minds is frequently because there isn’t a guaranteed outcome.
[05:08] There’s no guarantee that your riding experience will always remain the same.
[06:11] Letting fear hold us down guarantees we won’t achieve what we want.
[06:14] An email example about another horse owner not riding because of fear.
[07:18] If you really want to do something, don’t let the fear of not having a guaranteed experience stop you. Otherwise, you are guaranteeing pain.
[08:57] Even when you have fear, you will live through it and at least you know you tried.
[09:45] One of the greatest ways to learn is by making mistakes.
[10:51] Other people are also experiencing fear.
[11:07] We literally teach our horses to face their fears, because we want them to know that not all fear equals danger. The same thing is true for you.
[11:34] What is one step you can take to face your fear?
[11:54] Sharing your fear in a comment can be one small step towards facing it.
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“When fear stops you from even trying, you've already lost.” Stacy Westfall Click To TweetLinks and Resources:
- Blog post on Stacy wrote about the 4 Square model: Quickly Evaluating Problems with Horses and Riders
The 4 Square Model Stacy uses when approaching horse and rider challenges.
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WHY IS MY HORSE...?
Great encouragement, thank you!
Such a timely topic. A horse rolled over me a few years ago and I’ve been a nervous rider ever since. I just keep thinking about the injuries. Stacy is right…the fear holds me back from what I want the most. I spend my hard earned money on keeping the horses, yet I can’t enjoy my horses. Time for me to face the plastic tarp.
I am LOVING this podcast! The challenge it provides to be less fearful is exactly what I needed. My mare is wonderful, but sometimes I wonder if I’m a good enough rider to teach her what she needs to know, but this has challenged me and given me a drive to go! So excited about this series!
After letting go of my fear of riding a younger (5 yrs) horse this past summer and trusted him and our trainer I was successfully able to pilot him to multiple top 5 and top 10 placings at our National Show last July at the KY Horse Park!
Can’t wait to start listening
I was in 4-H for 11 years, started riding when i was about 6. I leased throughout all those years and finally got my own horse when i was 18. At the time he was 4 Years old with no training on him what so ever. so i had plenty of fears then! I am 22 now and he is a coming 9 year old and my fears have dissipated from what they were and turned into fears of i know i can do better but i don’t know what to do. We are at a stuck point in our training. But i know if i let my fears get to me we won’t get better.
YES! I need to hear this So much… I Was… or that’s what I say… I was a great rider before kids and now 8 yrs later I miss it SO much… I feel like my body & mind Needs it again… I was raised my mare now to the age of 6… lots of ground work & has been saddled… but I have not gotten on because of Fear… my own fear of not being great anymore… she needs me to guide & teach her and I keep with drawling and saying I should just find someone else to do it… huh This is perfect timing Stacey… Thank you… you have me hooked ❤️
These are such wise words. I have family members who were always scared or what could happen even if it had never happened to them before when it came to horses. I was always the date devil, but as I grew up I did start to have fears. Not until Jesse’s training class did I realize I could listen to my horses and answer their questions, not to be scared of them and then retaliate with anger and force when they did something wrong. I was scared of failing, of not training my horse right, but now I realize training isn’t a perfect science but you can learn of you put your mind to it. People will always watch you ride and judge you, that’s my hardest spot right there. But I’ve learned to be soft, respectful and caring to my horse while stilling instilling respect. Thank you for all you do!
As someone who rode when I was younger, had an accident and didn’t ride again for years, I struggled with this a lot. I started back learning and doing a lot of ground work with my horse, including desensitizing. I got to thinking about it and realized that almost everyday I worked my horse, I was asking him to face his fears. He felt the same way I did, even though it was about something different, like a tarp or pool noodles. Over time he got so used to facing his fears when I asked him to, that he isn’t as scared as he used to be. That taught me that you have to face your own fears, and over time it gets much easier. After a while of asking my horse to face his fears regularly, I decided it was time I do the same, and that I needed to trust him like he clearly trusts me. Once I took that step and worked through facing my fears every time I rode, my horse and I have now accomplished goals no one thought we could, and we have a great bond with each other. I am a firm believer that riders with fears should start out on the ground with their horse, getting more comfortable with their horse and strengthening that bond, and that will make riding easier.
I also wonder how this could also relate to the horses fear vs. danger feelings. Like in my example with my horse, he was scared of the tarp and pool noodles, though he was in no physical danger. Horses have a harder time distinguishing between fear and danger than humans do. When a horse is scared of something, he doesn’t know is he’s in physical danger or not, but will hopefully trust his rider or handler enough to face it, instead of letting his fight or flight instincts take over. It is also important in these situations for the rider or handler to stay calm and suppress their own fear, so that the horse doesn’t feed off of that fear. Things could quickly spiral out of control, but is also a good opportunity for horse and rider to overcome fears together, which leads to a sense of accomplishment.
Going back to fear in the horse, I think it is important to be able to recognize fear in a horse, as opposed to just resistance. If you can recognize your horse is scared of something, it will help you come down to that horses level and work through it, whereas is he is simply refusing something and not scared or worried about it, you can ask and expect more out of him. It’s important to teach and work with a horse on his level, as well as facing your own fears and bettering yourself as a horseperson on your own level that you are comfortable with, and continuing to push yourself and your horse to be better.
I relate to this topic in a huge way. In late high school (I’m now in my mid-30s) I had two really bad falls back to back. I broke my shoulder socket in one, and had a horse fall on top of me, cracking some ribs in another. So for me, I think it was danger that has led to fear, and it’s something I have to overcome every time I saddle up. I appreciate your suggestion for baby steps, as that’s how I’ve been moving forward. Right now my big hang up is cantering, so I’m working toward it in small doses, say 1/2 of the arena. Or maybe just down one long side to start.
I wanted to thank you for recording the Fear vs. danger podcast. I am not afraid of my horse, but a year ago I was hit by a big truck. The fear that I experience in the car is the mind numbing fear that some riders face. I am going to try to utilize your thoughts about actual danger vs. my thoughts because the fear I have is paralyzing.
Love this…” public speaking may make you fearful, but its not dangerous ! “
Hi Stacy,
Loved this podcast. Really got me thinking. I have one horse who behaves perfect on trail rides when another horse comes with us. When we are alone not so much.. After a few minutes she would rear up. And not a little bit, but so high that I can feel her trying to keep her feet under her body. So doesn´t do this at a specific point but just randomly. When she does that I keep her feet moving and we continue the ride for a couple of minutes and that she does is again. For me, going on a trail ride by myself was always a little ´me time´ . But now, it isn´t fun anymore because I can see myself laying on te ground already with the horse on top of me in the middle of nowhere. There is a fear involved because I don´t trust her on the trail ride anymore, but also a real danger because what if she can´t keep her feet steady when rearing up. I tried some groundwork in the woods. This is no problem. I did some walking next to her, alone, to show her it´s fun and not work. No problem at all. She enjoys that. But when I get up the problems begin. How would you ´fix´ this problem with the horse and get your mind in to a place where you can release the fear of going on a trail ride because I know having this fear or thought in the back of my mind something will happen, that it is definitely going to happen.
I have so much fear. I am afraid of my horse running away with me, I have had that fear for a lot of years, and it was maybe my first fear where horses are concerned. Then maybe 5 years ago, I saw a trailer accident that put a man in the hospital for 3 weeks. The horse was a good horse. He loaded fine, and unloaded fine. The trouble came when this man entered the trailer with a horse he didn’t know, and pulled down on the halter. That was this horses cue to back up. HE WAS STILL TIED! I was frantically trying to untie him, because the man was caught between the side of the trailer and the rope that the horse was tied with. The horse was pulling the know tighter, so it seemed like I was never going to get it untied. The man was screaming as ribs were breaking, and the horse was pulling back, to get away from the screaming man (he was asked to back, he did, and panicked when it didn’t go like it had every other time he backed off the trailer). I have had serious trailer issues since. Then, this year, I was bucked off a different horse. I broke my pelvis in 2 places. The whole thing was my fault. I hadn’t ridden in a couple of months, it had been a very wet and rainy winter. This day was cool, and windy. There were other things going on in the arena that day that had my anxiety up. He felt that I was nervous, and he became more nervous, and a vicious circle started. He warned me 3 times, and on the 3rd, he uncounted me. I should have gotten off and not mounted again until he was thinking about me, but I didn’t.
I am so nervous now. If I can muster the will to go out and try to ride, I am scared. I know my horse knows I’m not confident, and that is going to get me into trouble again.
I’m also afraid I will get into a situation that is scary, and I want know what to do.
I have to figure out how to fake confidence while I try to build my confidence, but I’m not sure how.
I can’t wait to hear more podcasts! Thank you so much for facing your fears about the podcasts, I hope that helps me be able to face my fears around horses.
Hi Stacy and thank you for your all output during the years to help understand ourselves and our horses better. This podcast came on the right time.
My biggest fear at the moment is to get on my horse and ride him. Just think of saddeling him and stepping on terrifies. And after this podcast I think it is mixed emotions of actual fear of danger and exitment. My horse is 4 year old quarter horse gelding. Very open, active, curious but also very hard core when something new or something he do not want. He gets my fear emotions and says that is not okay..
He has been on professional training last year and progressed very well. I’ve ridden him and he was cool. But there was one moment that he started to buck off and another time that he rear when I was on the saddle and started to ride. After the both times I have ridden him after the situation but now I’m affraid to face this challenges again..
This morning I listened the podcast (which i’ve postboned few days because not wanting to face my fear) and think i will start just by saddling my horse.
Greetings from snowy Rovaniemi, Finland from Laura and Taiga (the horse)
Thanks Stacy, as always, for sharing your wisdom with us! My biggest fear is not being good enough as a trainer for my horses. I know this is fear and not danger, and I appreciated how you separated that out. I spend a lot of time trying to learn all I can, but I still have trouble accepting that I will make mistakes and have those valuable learning experiences. I want everything to happen quickly. Fortunately I have 2.5 (that’s the mini) great equines in my life that are patient teachers, and of course trainers like you. Thanks for making me take 12 minutes out of my day to focus on how I can improve myself!
So glad that you faced your fear of podcasting, because today I heard exactly what I need to hear. I have a project (not even horse-related) that I have been procrastinating for months because of fear of failure. You gave me that kick-in-the-pants I need to tackle what I fear, yet need to do. Thank you!
Excellent information! I really like learning through making mistakes. Also you have me some ideas for better understanding student’s fears.
I will be listening and looking forward to your insight on each new topic. Helping us to succeed. Thank you.
This podcast series will be wonderful! My daughter’s horse has a huge fear of trailering, which in turn, has led me to be fearful every time we attempt to load him or work with him on the process. I’m hopeful that with your guidance we can get both up us over this hump so that my daughter can fully enjoy her horse, and the family can relax, knowing we’ve given him a foundation to overcome that fear. Thank you for all you do!
Thank you Stacy for this Podcast. For the first time ever in my life, I am fearing riding. I broke my ankle 3 months ago getting off my horse after my saddle slipped. It was something so simple but lead to injury which I am still not 100% healed from. I am experiencing a lot of anxiety when I think about getting back on my horse. I’m not sure where to go from here. Thank you again for the information. I look forward to future episodes!
I so needed this! ?
I think this is a great podcast to help you to think about if you are worrying for no reason and if you are in real danger or not !
An excellent podcast – a great reminder of how we expect our horses to face their fear and process the difference between fear and danger yet we often get caught up in our minds and negate to process the difference ourselves and get stuck. The concept of the four quadrants is probably the most useful tool in the horse training toolbox anyone can have. Thanks for the quality lesson and for facing your podcast fear… it was certainly worth it and invaluable to humans and their horses.
Hello Stacy
Great podcast.—-This is why I like you so much—I have told you this before but you always make me think and analyze situations. I am more on the timid side and take my time and can be hesitant. As you know I have had Hildy for several years and it has been an interesting journey. I have learned from you that it is okay to take things slow and celebrate all the minor accomplishments. I wish I could be more daring–for instance I would love to learn how to do a lead change but I feel that it is such an advanced maneuver. I question my ability to do it. I am still working on loping the 4-leaf clover. It seems that it takes me forever to accomplish a goal. Now that winter is here, training has come to a halt until spring. I only trail ride in the winter–no indoor arena. I am guessing that is why it takes me so long to accomplish my goals.
This is help my daughter tremendously. She just got her first horse after riding for about 10 years. Had she not switched from English to Western, I’m not sure if she would still be riding.
Fear may be irrational. A few years ago I was bucked off a horse. No major damage, but it hurt! After my appy died, I bought a Gypsy/quarter cross. She was large enough to support me and my roping saddle. I got on her back once and started shaking like a leaf.
Time is catching up with me. I must use a mounting block to get in the saddle. A few weeks ago I pulled a muscle carrying a sack of feed to the car. IO hate to exercise, but as you have pointed out everyone should do it.
I have no one to be around when I am with my horses. So if something happens I will need to summon my own help. My goal is to get back on her after the weather warms. In the meantime I am doing ground work like give to pressure.
Your pod cast is right on! You did good. I wish you no fear in doing more of them. Keep up the good work.
From the displaced Buckeye.
Very thoughtful podcast and one that transcends horsemanship. Look forward to more from you Stacey.
Hi Stacy, thank you for an excellent podcast. Fear and anxiety have stopped me riding for about a year. This is what happened, I bought a new sheepskin saddle cloth for my quarter horse and when I tried it on I put an old saddlecloth underneath it in case I needed to return it. It was difficult to get the girth tight because of the thickness of the sheepskin. Eventually I was satisfied it was secure and I put my foot in the stirrup and swung my leg over as the saddle slowly slipped underneath my horses belly! My foot was caught in the stirrup, I was laying on my back underneath my horse, trying to release my foot. I finally managed to get my foot of the stirrup and stand up. My horse just stood still, turning to look at the saddle. I could not undo the girth with the saddle under the horse. All I could think of was if he panicked he could be seriously hurt. Somehow I managed to release the girth and the saddle dropped to the ground. I moved the saddle and led Bugsie foreword, he seemed OK. I did get straight back on without the sheepskin saddlecloth, but on my next attempt at saddling up and mounting Bugsie would not stand still and I am afraid to put my foot in the stirrup and put weight on it! Every time I start to saddle up Buggsie moves away and I give up and do ground work without the saddle. I do want to ride but my fear has me bluffed! Help!!!
This was a really good first episode. It struck me more on a personal level than on my horse side. I’m working toward fixing the danger part of my horse (spooky when I’m on him and I don’t have the seat to sit it, so I have to get him actually safe before I can get back on him), but I have fear of putting myself out there as an entrepreneur because it does give me those feelings of fear/excitement. It has really amazed me how much learning how to train my horse and the mindset work I’ve had to put into that (and still fail at daily) spills out onto the rest of my life. My children have a better mom for all the mistakes I’ve made with my horse, and I’m just a better person for it. Thank you, Stacy, for being an important part of my journey.
Hi Stacy !
You are teaching me many things I never knew about before, I am so Thankful & Grateful to learn new things from the best, actually your my “hero” !
I do have a question. I have a coral where I work with my 3 yr old, and it has grass inside it, it makes it difficult to get my horse to pay attention to me more than him being able to eat, any advise ?
Thanks for your time ! Wishing you and your’s Happy Holidays
Dear Stacy,I am fearing riding the Tennessee Walker I leased a few weeks ago,Im an older lady with a life long love of horses, but have never ridden a gaited horse,Your podcast speaks to me,and I’m tthankful for you making this available right now.
As always, Stacy, you’re such a good teacher! Anyone that takes the time to listen…will have a chance to learn and grow. I’ve used the term frozen in fear before and as I listened..you allude to that very thing. It does keep us from stepping out and trying new things. It’s going to be great venturing out with you in your new podcast! Thanks!
Thank you so much for addressing the riders fears. I am fearful of crossing my mare under the interstate overpass near our home. Our granddaughter just got a horse(yay!) and we want to ride together. Her house is 2 miles from mine. Her horse is more nervous than mine and a few years younger. We do not have a trailer at this time so it is up to me to get us together. I have planned to get my mare near the interstate for multiple practice times and then walk her underneath. I just keep putting it off because I am afraid.
Thank you Stacy for your podcast. What you said about it allows me to leave a comment.
The fear I know – The Fear – is about nothing. I’m not kidding. At the moment I feel it I wouldn’t say that of course ! I mean, this fear deals with all the “if”. If that happens and this…and it’s a nightmare. But it’s not reality.
One of the best moments I lived in my life and with horses was to endure this nothing full of “if”, preparing two peacefull mares for a ride. The reality arround was really peacefull. Not me. I went through and had the most beautiful ride ever in the mountain. Most of all I just did my “monstruous impossible” and that made me able to, capable.
We are able to do our “impossible” just by doing it… simple and difficult !
Less difficult if I unhabit my days…sometimes little things are heroic )
Best wishes to you and your folks (two and four legs)
(Sorry if this is not clear. I dont usually writte in english)
this is a GREAT idea!
Now, if I can download to my phone, or figure out how to listen when driving, that would be awesome!
Thanks for sharing such great insights.
My fear is I will never consistently (I would underline consistently if I knew How) learn to feel the proper time to ask for a slide stop. I am better at asking for a flying lead change so I do that more often but I still have to talk myself through a flying lead change. I don’t even know how to talk my self through a stop (sliding) I am not confident with know the feel.
Linda, I know this needs more explanation but I HAD TO SAY IT…the timing on the slide (in the stage of training where you need the timing-that stage goes away) but anyway-the timing is exactly opposite of the lead change. No joke. That’s how it feels to me and how I explain it, which is probably why it feels ‘wrong’ to you or hard. I have to focus on it when I end up back in that stage with a younger horse. Make sure you remind me to expand this when I get to that season of the podcast!!!
Great podcast, will there be transcripts somewhere, would be great to have something that we can highlight to underline important points that we might want to review..
I am 54 and s new rider, riding about a year now. I absolutely love riding and am not fearful of many things while on horseback.
However, I do get apprehensive when at a fast canter, that I’m going out of control and my horse is in control. Part of it is my fitness so my seat could be better and I’m working on that, but my instructor tells me how to control the canter speed, but as soon as we get to that speed, it all goes out the window!
I believe that part of it is my horse senses my concern, so he thinks there is a reason to worry and picks up speed. Any suggestions as to put it into my mind and keep it there, that I know what I’m doing and how to do it, so there’s really no reason for me to be concerned? This only occurs at fast canter any other cantering I’m fine. And I really want to get this past me because cantering and galloping look like so much fun. Thanks much!
Mark
Thank you Stacy I’ve never realized fear and danger to be separated when I think of fear I think of danger I think of being hurt and so forth. I’m 35 years old in the past six years I’ve been wanting my own horse as my daughter has had her own horse. she’s only 10 and has been riding since she was three. I was blessed with a wonderful quarter horse Padre. He was trained by professional horseman. I have owned Padre for the last two years. I have ridden him approximately 15 times totaling maybe two hours.
I just lack experience of riding. And for some weird reason I feel that I am to old to start riding. I hate being afraid!
I just started riding 2 years ago after taking an 8 year break to focus on school work and pursue my other passion, watercolor painting. During this break, I realized how much I love riding and this love motivated me to start again. When I first started taking lessons again, I was reminded how much I had forgotten – my aids were rusty and my seat needed lots of work – and just how big and powerful horses are. The idea of falling off seriously scared me. I almost quit multiple times, until my instructor told me something very similar to what you say in this podcast, Stacy. Her words are probably the reason I’m still riding today. Every time something shakes my confidence, I’m reminded that my lesson horse and I will never reach our full potential if I’m afraid to try. Thank you for this podcast and I’m excited to listen to more of them! 🙂
Great job Stacy! I love your clear and uncluttered speaking style. You are very inspiring. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. I look forward to future podcasts!
I sometimes think I don’t have enough fear. I’m 54 and do things that many people my age wouldn’t even try. I’ve started riding my horses bareback and in rope halters again. Something I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing 2-3 years ago. I think I have gained confidence in my ability as my horse’s trainer and in reading their movements before they happen. To me, knowledge is power and continuing to learn has helped me strengthen my connection with them.
I used to be riddled with fear, after getting a wreak with a horse I raised, I sold him and bought a well trained mare, but the fear came with the rider. I’ve had that mare for 8 years, had to have a few mixed drinks before I could swing my leg over the first couple of years. At the time I was over 300lbs… 3 years ago I changed my lifestyle and have now lost 110lbs, I’ve learned to trust myself, know that I can get out of the way if something were to happen… and I’ve learned to trust my mare. I’ve even trail ridden her bareback with just a halter and a lead… the more we do, the stronger the bond. I trust this horse with my whole being…. I still have issues trusting me, but I know I can depend on my girl.
I fear not being able to be right, and that prevents me from starting. I have learned so much and am not driven to do more than my horses can handle. I love it when things work out, and I berate myself in hindsight when they don’t. I appreciate your webinars and podcasts.
My horse was always acting spooky. I finally realized that his fear was coming from me and my apprehensions following a riding mishap. I consciously try and focus and breathe now when we head out and he is much more relaxed also!
Thank you for your clear information about fear. You are very encouraging and motivating. At one point in my life, I didn’t want to lose my relationship/confidence with my horse that I boarded, so I went to see him and unusually ride him every day. He now lives on our own property, I still ride him often and I put my hands on him every morning and evening. We have a solid relationship. He has taken me and our daughter to the moon and back. A true blessing. I’m so glad I made those deliberate actions to keep and build an excellent relationship with him.
I’m looking forward to more pod casts. You have a wealth of experience and knowledge. Thank you for sharing your wisdom in such a pleasant, clear way.
I haven’t been able to work with horses since I left college in 2014 (equine college program.) I want to professionally work with horses, but I have zero reputation, and moved from.Vermont to Texas three years ago this past November. I fear no body wants to hire me because of lack of current experience and the four years away from the scene. I feel like the only way I can have a career with my passion, is to start something myself, which will still be several years from now. I’m not the same person without horses as I am with them. There’s something about them that makes me a better person, and I’ve been missing it for sever years now.
I enjoyed this podcast very much! I rode horses from the time I was a baby until 15, when my horse Beaux had to be put down. I only rode occasionally for 30 years, but then bought a kill pen mare that looked like Beaux. She was fearful of being ridden, and I worked with her on that, and even got professional training for her. On my second ride in her after training, she spooked and jumped out from under me. Nothing broken, but very painful landing. I was so afraid of getting back on her. But after I recovered, I would put her in the round pen and just sit on her everyday to overcome my fear of riding her. She is still a very sensitive horse and requires a lot of skill to ride. I take lessons weekly to learn more about riding and that has been amazing. I believe in baby steps to get past fear.
Bah!
I popped in headphones and listened to this at work and now am fighting tears.
“There is something about letting fear hold you down, that is really kind of depressing because realistically what happens is, you are guaranteeing that you won’t achieve what you are most yearning for”.
Ouch. That’s the one. I took riding lessons from the age of 8 to mid 20s and had a pony early on. I am now in my 40’s and bought my first horse last year. I have not been on his back. Not once.
95% of the time, I am 100% happy with the relationship we have without the riding. I love spending time with and caring for him. We do some very very basic liberty work and play with obstacles lots. But every once in a while…specifically on a rough day or in the fall, I get an urge to jump on his back.
Here is my current block/fear: I replaced my vice of being a shopaholic with eating 5 years ago. Coupled with a chronically depressed husband and fighting mild depression and social anxiety myself- I have put on 100lbs in 8 years. I have had knee surgery and broken both ankles 9separate accidents in my early and late teens)years ago. I think it comes down to my fear being of my own body. I do not have the body I did when I rode before. Let’s be clear I would in no way consider even getting on him the weight I am know. I am aware of the damage it can cause him.
The physical limitations I have and what happens if I come off, If I get in the saddle, how will I dismount? Will it destroy my knee to come off? All are paralyzing from thinking about any attempts.
I guess I need to figure out how to deal with my stress so that I am not eating and I’m instead am moving more. It’s the only way to find out if I can do it with a different body or not. To get that different body started. I think now that I have talked it out, THAT is my first “Try” to attacking my fear. Become the physical being I need to be so that I can at least “Try” to get on him.
If it is ok with you, I would like to print this to put on my wall. I will of course foot note you 🙂
“There is something about letting fear hold you down, that is really kind of depressing because realistically what happens is, you are guaranteeing that you won’t achieve what you are most yearning for”.
Thank you Stacy!
And to everyone who shares.
There is great comfort hearing others struggles and steps to success.
Take care all,
Jenny
I have a fear of riding outside of the arena. On May 2nd of this year my horse spooked at a neighbours donkey that had broken it’s pasture fence, the donkey was coming at us fast & was braying, my horse bolted, I ended up on the road. It happened so fast all that I had learnt about what to do was gone from my mind. The end result was that I broke both of my wrists, one has a plate in it due to multiple breaks the other a fracture but required surgery also. I have been watching your videos & doing a lot of ground work in the arena with my girl. I have only ridden her a few times in the arena but am very nervous about the thought of riding her out of the barn when next spring comes. My plan is to take it slow & easy by taking baby steps, going out of the barn a little way, next down the driveway to the road, then a little more as we get comfortable going further each time.. Thank you Stacy for all you help while I am still recovering.
Jill- Thanks for writing! Ouch! Hopefully I the blogs and podcasts will help you come up with even more ways to build your confidence as well as your horses. Thanks for listening while you recover!
I also have the fear of riding outside of the arena. I have been trying for the past 3 years. I have had two accidents, one the horse did a 180 – bolted and I hit the ground and broke my back, the 2nd one I got bucked off, (firecracker went off) and broke my collar bone. I have ridden the second horse since but only in the arena. I have a new horse now and am scared to death about leaving the arena. I want to trail ride again but just can’t seem to get the nerve. I enjoyed your podcast and am looking forward to listening to more! Thank you as I will be pushing myself harder this winter and spring to get out there once more. I am 67 and have plenty of time to work on it.
Jill,
I had a horse run off with me earlier this year too! Now, I am fearful of riding that horse outside of the arena or a controlled environment. But I am horse crazy enough to keep pressing forward! I hope you do the same!
Stacy, thank you. Awesome podcast!
I had two fears that completely paralyzed me.
One was of horses in general. But when my daughter went off to college, I had no choice but to ride. Toassuage my fears (and have someone with me in case I fell), I took lessons. In no time at all I saw that horses were as fearful as I was! Trying to help my daughter’s horse with HIS fears somehow made ME less fearful.
The other big fear happened recently. For some reason whenI was taking off my daughter’s horse’s bridle, he jerked his head up. I lost the grip on the headstall, and he backed up with his head high and the bridle dangling from his mouth!
After that I started having trouble getting off the bridle. I once asked one of the boys to help. He did, and our horse did the same thing. So I was determined to do it myself. I had to. My daughter asked, “What’s the worst that could happen? He’d back up! So what? [I always ride early in the morning before the horses go out so he misses neither his time out nor his breakfast.] “Do it in his stall if you want,” she said. Then he couldn’t really back up.
I took my time and worked it out slowly, and then it started going just fine.
Alas, he just had a major accident with another horse who came at him like a speeding bullet—he could not get out of the way. The other horse broke his shoulder and had to be put down. Our horse’s palate was fractured! Now I’m afraid I’ll be back to being fearful of putting in and taking out his bridle again, as we are giving him several months to heal. Earlier this year a kick fractured his jaw.
So now I have the fear of hurting him because of all his injuries AND the fear of banging his teeth.
He’s a 16-year-old amazing AQH, and we’ve had him since he was 2 1/2.
We’re hoping for his nearly full recovery…and mine.
Marilyn- That is a great observation about the horses having as much fear as you. That is often the case and I’m glad you figured it out.
Wow, he was hit by a speeding bullet. I’ve seen a somewhat slower version of that happen and I can see where at full speed it really could do damage. Once it is healed fully you will know more. The one word of advice is to try hard not to place your fears on him. For example, ask the vet to handle and show you that there is not pain involved in the area (hopefully that is the case!). If the vet can show you there is no pain then be sure you visualize that when you work with him. Otherwise, your fear of him having pain will cause a reaction.
I’m pulling for a full recovery for both of you!
You are so kind to help me with my fear, Stacy. The vet did say we could bridle him, that it might take a full four months for his palate to heal but that the bit won’t interfere. In the meantime, my daughter is gently riding him (excellent rider) weekly so that he gets his exercise but does not get jerked in the mouth. I might jerk it more than she. He’s got two months to go to heal fully. He does have an issue with a sort of “tripping” feel she says. Had a kinesiologist out who might come out once more. The vet said his radial nerve could be damaged, which would certainly affect his leg. We believe that working and exercise can strengthen the nerve and muscle in his right shoulder and so also walk him for exercise. His face had swollen where he was hit, apparently side of body to side of body. After the swellings diminished, we found some won’t ever go away—must be how the bones healed—and he has a permanently blocked tear duct. We go out and clean his skin and dab on Vaseline to protect it from burning. Poor baby. Being the top of the food chain out there definitely has its disadvantages when another horse wants to rise to the top!
Well, thank you so much for your awesome advice and teaching podcasts. We saw you at a horse show in Wisconsin once and were so honored to be able to watch you work with several horses. You are our horse training goddess!? Just keep it coming.
I havent ridden my horses for 5 yrs. First two because I was distracted by my husbands illness..not a good reason..but then after he died I moved and bought a wonderful place in No Calif. I havent ridden here as I’m afraid if something happens to me, being their only caregiver the animals would be at risk. Bringing me to today, I am a survivor of the CampFire of 11/8/18, my home, barn and animals were spared. I need to break through this fear, i am here and need to get back in the saddle♡ Thank you for this podcast, I feel you are speaking to me, can you direct us in exercising both rider and horses to start getting back in shape to make our journey of fear more successful? PS I saw you near Norco about 5-6 yrs ago, I was really able to “get” your instructions. Thanks again,
Diana
You have been through some big stuff recently! You must be very strong. I am planning on addressing more and more step by step instruction as I go. This first season I work hard at staying focused on the riders mind because I will be referencing it in the next seasons ‘issues’. Are you on my email list? If you are, you will receive updates on live webinar teachings, etc. I will be stepping up my posting frequency as we move into 2019 so keep on watching and now listening! You’ll be seeing more of me and I hope I’ll be seeing more of you!