Episode 249: Does your horse have a limiting belief?

Episode 249_ Does your horse have a limiting belief_.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Episode 249_ Does your horse have a limiting belief_.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker1:
That horse is grabbing onto. Is it a belief or is it a limiting belief? That's what's causing the feeling of a statement. But. Oftentimes when we interpret the boldness of the answer as an indicator, that's where we become confused.

Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall and I'm here to help you understand, enjoy, and successfully train your own horses. In this season of the podcast, I've been answering questions that your mind may offer you when you head out to train your horse. Today I'm answering a question that came in, and I'm going to use this question to explain a concept that I often talk about but have never fully explained. Today's subject requires a little bit of backstory. So one sentence in the question slash story that you're going to hear in a little bit. One sentence out of that is, I do know she wasn't just asking questions. So if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you might recognize this as a reference to something that I frequently say here on the podcast and in life, which is your horse is asking you questions. If you're a new listener, welcome and let me explain. I frequently say your horse is asking questions. Your horse asks questions with his body. When a horse is being ridden, the questions look like break of gait, speeding up, diving in, falling out, reversing directions, and lots of other behaviors that riders often label as, quote unquote problems. Your horse asks questions with his body. Your horses questions reveal his temperament and your horse's questions reveal his training level. Why do I choose to think this way? Why do I choose this phrasing? My goal today in this podcast is that by the end of this episode you will understand why I phrase it like this.

Speaker1:
I do hear people say, My horse isn't asking questions. He's making statements. And in a minute I'm going to read that question that someone sent in that illustrates this point. But first, a little more food for thought. Let's take just a minute to discuss questions, statements, beliefs and limiting beliefs. That's a lot. And for fun, let's go backwards. What is a limiting belief? Google says a limiting belief is a thought or statement of mind that you think is the absolute truth and stops you from doing certain things. These beliefs don't always have to be about yourself either. They could be about how the world works, ideas, and how you interact with people. Okay. Let me give you an example from my own life. At one point when I was in high school, a teacher asked me what I wanted to go to college for and I said, I want to ride horses, but you can't go to school for that. That is a perfect example of a limiting belief. I believed I could not. So I never even looked. And it turns out you actually could go to school for that. You actually can go to school for that. And I did, but only because a teacher identified my limiting belief and helped me switch it. Now let's define what a belief is. A belief is a set of ideas that you choose to think are true. Here's an example.

Speaker1:
Last night when I went to bed, I chose to believe I would wake up this morning. And this belief served me so it doesn't feel like a limitation. This belief served me because I had that belief. So I made plans for the day and I've actually made plans for the week and the month and even the rest of the year based on the belief that I will still be alive. I actually have no proof that this is true, but I choose to believe it and it serves me. Let's look at what a statement is. Let's go back to Google for this one. A statement is a definite or clear expression of something in speech or writing. I'm going to phrase it this way. A statement is often a shortened version of a belief. I might say tomorrow, after breakfast, I'm going to ride my horse. This is a statement based on my belief that I'll be around tomorrow to go do that. What is a question? A question is a request for more information. But instead of thinking about this in a broad sense, I want you to actually think about a question. When a friend says to you, Hey, can I ask you a question? Don't think about this as a question. A stranger might ask or a question out there in the universe. How do you personally respond if someone you enjoy spending time with says they want to ask you a question? Have you ever noticed that you can have a pretty intense discussion full of lots of questions and conversation going back and forth between yourself and a friend? I find that often times when someone says that they'd like to ask you a question, it's because they actually value your opinion or your thoughts.

Speaker1:
So I like to say that your horse has questions because if you believe this, then you'll be more likely to respond by adding more information. Because remember, a question is a request for information. Okay. I've put down some foundation ideas and I have some more I'm going to add. But first, I want to read the question that I'm going to use to illustrate this. Here is your job as the listener. When you listen to this question, this is your chance to drop into the role that I just described. Pretend that this question is being asked by someone you care for. Practice listening and receiving this question as if it's a friend of yours who values your thoughts. Now, this is where it gets more challenging as you're listening and you're trying to stay that friend who honestly wants to help. I also want you to notice if you have an emotional response. Notice if you judge the situation. Notice if you can listen without labeling. So that you would be able to give advice from a place of kindness. Here is the question that came in. I have been riding a horse in a full cheek snaffle working on bend and softening.

Speaker1:
The past couple of weeks I've been riding outside, away from other horses to get her used to other environments. She is not liked it, but she's been getting more used to it. She's been doing well with bending and softening enough that I switched over to a bit with a shank to start working on more vertical. The first day with it, we just walked and worked on stopping to introduce her to it. She was definitely more reactive with throwing her head and backing when I didn't ask. Another day I rode her out in the pasture with a couple other people on horses. She started out decent. I didn't do much other than walk again and a little trotting when we headed back to the barn. She refused to walk forward to go back to the barn. Proceeded to go into a back up without being asked and also reared up a little. I disengaged her hindquarters to prevent any more rearing and possible bucking. When she stopped, I let her stand for a bit and then proceeded to ask to go forward to the barn and she did the same thing. I also did the same thing. The other horses were a good distance ahead of her. She did it a third time and after I disengaged her, we stopped. I got off and I lunged her. We stood for a bit after lunging to let her and myself think, and then I walked her back to the barn. Since then, I have switched her back to the full cheek snaffle.

Speaker1:
We rode outside in a different area, but I haven't been able to go back to that same area in the past year yet. She has not reacted that badly since I switched back to the full cheek snaffle. Since her actions were much more animated, I'm not sure if it was attitude change in environment, but change in bit. Et cetera. I do know she wasn't just asking questions, but being pretty sassy. If you're able to give any advice, it is greatly appreciated. This question is a great illustration of why I choose to think that my horse is asking questions. It also clearly illustrates a moment when someone can easily choose to think My horse isn't asking questions. She is making statements. Now, remember, we defined limiting beliefs, beliefs, statements and questions. Now let's talk about what the process of changing beliefs looks like. When I hear this story, my first thought is they're both confused. The writer is confused and the horse is confused. They clearly have questions that need to be answered. I believe the horse is confused because the horse has latched on to an elementary idea and is holding on tight. I often say that horses move from elementary school to high school and then to college and think about it. In elementary school, the horses generally learn the rider's legs mean go. Both reigns at the same time means stop left Rein, means turn left. Right Rein, means turn right.

Speaker1:
And this horse has taken this idea and has gotten very light, very responsive to it. In fact, the rider tells us, and I quote the first day with it, we just walked and worked on stopping to introduce it to her. She was definitely more reactive with throwing her head and backing when I didn't ask. We could also translate that as the horse saying, Got it, Got it back up. This one means back up, back up. I get it. Maybe you're going to think about backing, so I'm going to back now. So this is where the confusion started in the story. The rider thought, I'm introducing it to her and I'll practice stopping with it. In the same ride, the horse said, I got the message. This bit means back up. And then the horse took it a step further and said, I'll help you out here. I noticed that you shifted. It might mean back up. I noticed that you've backed up here. I'm going to go ahead and back up. I've noticed we're frequently backing up. Let me show you. I'll do it here and I'll do it here, too. And the rider interpreted it as backing even when I didn't ask. My interpretation is this horse has questions about this bit. This horse has questions about the go forward cue. This horse has lots of questions. I'm actually not going to answer this question as though it's a question about bits, because the bigger issue here is about interpreting the feedback that's coming from the horse.

Speaker1:
When you view this as an issue with interpreting the feedback that's coming from the horse. You'll start to see that you can find hundreds and thousands of variations of this question. It could be a question about loading a horse on a trailer, tying to a wall, leading the horse through a gate. What I want you to see is that your interpretation of the horse matters. I truly can see why this rider thinks this is a statement. Because remember, a statement is a tiny piece of a belief. And this horse believes that it should not go forward with this bit on this horse, believes that it should stop, that it should even back up this horse on the very first ride said, I got it. This is it. That horse is grabbing onto. Is it a belief or is it a limiting belief? That's what's causing the feeling of a statement. But. Oftentimes when we interpret the boldness of the answer as an indicator, that's where we become confused. So let's go back to my earlier personal example. When I was in high school and the teacher asked me what I wanted to go to college for. I said with full conviction. The same as this horse in the story is with full conviction. I said I want to ride horses and you can't go to school for that fact statement done. But remember, it was really a limiting belief.

Speaker1:
Let me read that Google definition again. A limiting belief is a thought or a state of mind that you think is the absolute truth and stops you from doing certain things. Doesn't that sound like what the horse in this story is doing? It's literally stopping the horse from moving. So think about the teacher in my story. He didn't say, well, this girl isn't asking questions. She's definitely making statements. Just leave her alone. He had to think something like Clearly Stacy is confused. I will give her some more information. And he sent me to look at college catalogs. This teacher knew that I had questions even when I didn't. He chose to view me as a confused teen when he could have simply left me in my own limiting belief. Thank you, Mr. Neto, for seeing me. Okay, So in my world, I teach the horses, go through elementary to high school and then to college. And you can think about this from a textbook or maneuver standpoint like the left Rein, means go left when we're in elementary school. But when we're in high school and we go to neck reining, then the right rein actually means go left. When your neck reining. You can think about this from a maneuver or a mechanical standpoint, but I much prefer to think of it as a growth in the horses thinking. So this means that a horse can have elementary beliefs, high school beliefs, and college beliefs. Now, I happen to be a teacher that takes horses through all of these stages, which means I understand that I'm going to teach them something in elementary school, and then I'm going to change that and tell them there's more information, more to the story when they get in high school.

Speaker1:
I understand that when they are in high school, there's even more that they can learn when they go into college. And I also understand that they're going to have what they think are beliefs that they learned from me. Like left rein, means go left or like both reins mean stop. They don't have all of the information when they're in elementary school and they're operating like this. So I understand because I've seen this arc over and over again. I know I'm going to teach and then add more information and I can't get all of the information into them in the first ride. I can't get all of the information into them in the first year. You can't send a six year old child to college. So instead what you do is you teach on one level and then you add information. And sometimes that information seems like a contradiction. So when you tell the horse legs mean go both reins mean stop and then later on you decide that you want to work on collection, which means that you're going to have some level of pressure on the reins and some level of pressure on the legs. It's basically going to come across to your horse like you're applying the gas and the brakes at the same time.

Speaker1:
Go ask your mechanic if that's a great idea with your car. But the difference is your horse isn't a car. Your horse is going to have to learn to think at a different level. The horse can't stay thinking reins are brakes and then understand collection. So the horse has to get a new understanding of what the reins also could mean. They can be brakes, They can also be bend. They can also help you compress your body. So you're going to be changing the horse's beliefs and you're going to have moments where you're going to have taught the horse something, and then that horse is going to hold on to it and it's going to be a limiting belief and you will be a better teacher. If you can see the confusion, you will be a better teacher. If you hear their statements and you understand they are confused. Your horse asks questions with his body. And when a horse is being ridden and the questions look like break of gate speeding up, diving in, falling out, reversing directions, getting stuck in reverse, and lots of other behaviors that riders label as problems. Those questions are revealing the way that he thinks those questions are revealing his current training level. Your interpretation of his behavior reveals your thinking. When I think this horse has questions, it helps me show up differently. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.

Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy westfall.com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

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