Episode 202: 3 things to do when the next step ISN’T obvious

Episode 202_ 3 things to do when the next step ISN_T obvious.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Episode 202_ 3 things to do when the next step ISN_T obvious.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Stacy Westfall:
The challenge is taking consistent, little, daily, or weekly actions that don't feel that important today but do add up over time.

Announcer:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple: to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Stacy Westfall:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall, and I help riders become confident, communicate clearly, and get better results with their horses. Last week I recorded a podcast titled The Next Most Obvious Step, and my goal in sharing that podcast was to hopefully inspire people through Willow's story and the example of how you don't always have to know exactly where you're headed, but instead, you can take the next most obvious step. But then I got thinking, What about when there isn't a next obvious step? So in today's podcast, I'm going to give you three things you can do when the next step isn't obvious. But first, the question I want you to answer before we talk about the three steps is, Do you know the direction that you're headed? Now, don't worry, the three steps are still going to work, even if you don't know, for example, whether you want to do Western dressage or whether you want to trail ride. It doesn't matter a lot, but it kind of makes a little twist or at least adds another layer because sometimes people don't know the direction that they want to go. Maybe they just want to be able to ride safely right now, but they don't know if they have any show goals. And yet some other people don't actually know the next step, but they kind of do have a path in mind. So answer this question. Have you recently been pursuing a dream or taking action on a goal but you're currently on a plateau of sorts? That would indicate that you do have a path determined right now. And if you do, what I want you to do first is take a moment and get really clear about that dream or goal. And the reason I'm using both is because I know some people have a lot of resistance to goals. Personally, I love the quote, "The difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline," because it reminds me that my dream will become a reality as I set little goals that take me there. But I'm going to hit pause and save all my goal-setting podcasts for closer to the New Year.

Stacy Westfall:
So right now I just want to remind you that if you do have a dream you're pursuing or a goal that you're taking steps towards but right now, you're not quite sure what the next step is, the first thing I want you to do is anchor back into that dream. And what I mean by that is spend time thinking about it. And the most clear way to think about it is one of these two ways. Write about it physically. Write it out. I don't care if you type it or write it with a pen and paper, pencil if you choose. Either write it or talk about it out loud. That will move it from just thinking. And thinking about it as good but the private way to think about it would be to write about it. Then you'll really know you'll have a piece of paper or a file in your whatever device that proves that you spent X amount of time on that. And what that will do is when you have a dream or a goal, here's why they're important. Again, I'm really, really actually saving these for later. But I have to mention it now because it's–it's really important because a dream or a goal is where a lot of the fuel comes from to stay motivated. And the two most natural times for you to get energy from a dream or a goal is first at the very beginning when it's new. So when you very first have this new idea, like a dream pops into your mind, you don't even know the action steps to get there, that will have an energy with it and so will setting a goal. So when it's very new in the beginning, it's natural to have a lot of excited energy around it. The next place that a dream or a goal tends to have a lot of energy around it is when you're very close to achieving it. That, however, leaves you with a little challenge in the middle. Or maybe a really big challenge in the middle. Because typically between the beginning, when the dream or goal is new, and the end when you're very close to achieving it, if it's–if it's a sizable dream or goal, that could be a gap of months or years. And sometimes people will try to rush the process of getting to their end goal or dream. Because they just simply don't have a grasp on how long it takes to get through that middle. So if you don't normally do that middle ground a lot–so a trainer might take horses through these stages frequently, so they have a really good grasp on how long it takes to go from unstarted to showing in a certain event. If you don't have a grasp on that, it's super common for people to underestimate the amount of time it takes in there. So it's important to keep anchored into that dream or goal, because while you're in that messy middle–see that come up again? The messy middle I often talk about being in the physical training of changing your body muscle memory and your horse's body and new habit memory. There's a lot of messy middle there. But it turns out there's actually a messy middle when you're transitioning from dream to reality.

Stacy Westfall:
So I just want to say at the beginning that it is really useful if you. Have a dream or a goal because there is an energy that that creates. Here's the challenge, and this challenge is faced by all of us. The challenge, when you have a dream or a goal is taking little daily and weekly actions that don't really feel that important today. So if you have a goal that reaches over months and a dream that reaches over years then it can be really easy to let go of Tuesday or Friday or whatever day of the week you just kind of don't feel like doing it. If you do have a dream or a goal, when you spend time focusing on it at least weekly, if not daily, then it will bring back that beginning energy over and over again. It's almost like you get to begin again every time you revisit that. So that's just a little tip if you do actually know the direction you're headed. But now let me go back to the original path. The three things that I recommend you do when the next step isn't obvious. This even includes if your dream or goal isn't obvious. Number one. Get physically moving. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while or if you've gone back, you'll find that the first four seasons of the podcast were on these four subjects. I called it the Four Square Model, and it is–picture like a plus sign and the four quadrants that would be made by that. They are the rider's mind, the rider's body, the horse's mind, and the horse's body. And if you currently don't know what the next obvious step is I want you to get moving your body and your horse's body. The only exception to this would be if you're not safe. If you're not safe lunging your horse or riding your horse then your next step is to get help so you can do that safely. But if you can safely groundwork or ride your horse, then go get your body and your horse's body moving on a regular basis. Just simply commit to putting you and your horse in physical motion a certain number of times a week. If you begin moving like that physically and you just commit to it almost like it's just a workout time, like an exercise routine, you could just do 20 minutes three times a week if you need to get started. And if you just look at that like a regular workout time over time, a lot of times motivation and dreams will creep in when you simply give them a structure and a place to be born.

Stacy Westfall:
Number two. If you are not quite sure what the next most obvious step would be, and especially if you're trying to execute number one, where do you go if you don't know what the next step is and Stacy just told you to get your body moving? Step two, return to the foundation. So oftentimes people think that the next step has to be something big or fancy or forward. But I would absolutely argue this. Return to the basics–the basics of groundwork or the basics of riding, I don't care. Go back to the basics. If you don't know the next obvious step but you're committed to working out regularly with your horse, let's say four times a week for 20 minutes each time. Return to the basics and do lunging, inside turns, stopping, backing, emotional control training from the ground, riding, ride with the direct rein. Learn to ride with the indirect rein. Do transitions. Do stops. Back up. All of these things are the foundation for everything. So while you are putting in the time and feeling slightly directionless. You will be taking action that will lead you forward. Another one of my favorite quotes is, "Mastery of the basics creates success." Keep that one in mind whenever you feel stuck or you think you're on a plateau and you're not quite clear on where you're going next. Mastery of the basics creates success.

Stacy Westfall:
Number three. Get connected with a group of people who have similar interests. The power in being connected with a group is that when you're surrounded by other people, you'll often hear similar questions, concerns, challenges and, hopefully, successes and wins and good things that are happening. And when you're surrounded by people who are taking. their next step, their next step towards their dream, you just might find yourself inspired. So this can take place if you have an interest in a specific show discipline, you can surround yourself with people who have a similar interest. But you can also do this even if you don't have show goals by simply getting involved in some kind of a community where people have similar goals. That's what's happening in my online program because of the live weekly meeting element. I am in there teaching riders fundamental skills that apply to all disciplines and then all of the students are sharing questions, challenges, successes, and what that does is it inspires other students to both follow the foundation steps and to look at how they can apply those foundation steps to their bigger goals. So Lori, inside the course, wrote in a success story where she won a saddle her very first time ever with her barrel horse. Heather wrote that she took her mare, Amelia, and did their first 50-mile endurance ride together. There's a Stacy inside my group, so not me. She has been in there and she finally conquered the cloverleaf pattern and a bunch of the techniques that I show and placed second and fifth in some really tough, large ranch horse classes. And then the other really cool thing about being connected inside of a community is that sometimes the next step won't be obvious to you. But I'm in there telling students what the next step of the foundation work should be and answering questions about how that's going to fit into what they might be doing. For example, Western Dressage or, in Lori's case, barrel racing. Linda went through the course and taught her horse how to neck rein and then showed in Western Dressage for the first time ever. Suki thought she was signing up for the course so that she could ride her horse at home in Alaska and a year later found herself traveling from Alaska to Oklahoma City for the Western Dressage World Show. And while all of the students mention when they are celebrating their successes is that their mindset, their thinking is shifting. And it shifts because we celebrate the achievements that are happening and because of the similar questions, concerns, challenges, and just plain feeling normal while you're in the middle of the messy middle. Because the middle does get messy. The middle gets messy in your mind when you're thinking about what your next step should be given your situation and your specific horse and your specific goals. And the middle gets messy because that's what it's like to change your habits, especially when you're changinh your physical habits, your mindset habits, and your horse's physical habits and your horse's thinking habits.

Stacy Westfall:
Well, there you have it. Three steps you can take whenever you don't know what the next step is. Number one, get moving your body and your horse's body. Number two, return to the foundation. Number three, get connected with a group of people with similar interests. Because remember, the challenge is taking consistent little daily or weekly actions that don't feel that important today but do add up over time. And that's where having a plan can help. And that's where being surrounded by people who are also working on similar things can really help. If you would like to participate in a group like that, come join us inside my online program. When you join, you'll have immediate access to all of my riding courses and the opportunity to join me live, weekly to ask your questions or have your video reviewed, and to watch other students working through this process. Thanks to all of you for listening, and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.

Announcer:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit stacywestfall.com For articles, videos, and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

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