Episode 109: Fear around training your own horse

Episode 109-Fear around training your own horse.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Episode 109-Fear around training your own horse.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Announcer:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill, this is the Stacy Westfall podcast, Stacy's goal is simple: to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Stacy Westfall:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall, and I'm here to teach you how to understand, enjoy, and successfully train your own horses. I can't believe it, but I've been saying that introduction for two years. Once a week, for the last two years, I have read that introduction to you. And it's interesting because today at the 2-year celebration mark of the podcast existing for 2 years, I am feeling very reflective and I'd still like to share some valuable information with you. So I'm going to blend those 2 together. First of all, I'm just… I don't know I'm a little bit surprised or pleasantly surprised. Yeah, sure, we're going to go with that. I'm pleasantly surprised 2 years later that I'm still podcasting. Now, isn't that interesting, because I remember how hard it was to get started, because I had a lot of fear, a lot of mind drama, around what I knew about starting a podcast and whether I'd be able to keep it up and whether anybody would listen and all kinds of interesting things. And so I started it with the intent to have it go on indefinitely, but indefinitely is not very clear. And so I had started a podcast before that only went 7 episodes and then stopped. So now that I'm here, Episode 109 and 2 years later, there is a celebration– kind of a–there's this happy surprise feeling in my body, but there's still that question hanging out there, like, how long will it last? So the way I'm going to explain that is it's a little tiny grain of fear and maybe there's a lesser version. Maybe it's apprehension or some other word. But I'm still just going to call it fear for this, because I think when it starts leaning towards that level, it's interesting to think about it like that. And that's why Episode number 1 of this podcast was Fear vs Danger. If you haven't listened to it, the summary of it is this: fear for me is something that you you feel in your body that is pointing you to some kind of higher awareness, and that higher awareness a lot of times is mental, but sometimes it's physical. So it might be pointing you towards the fact that your brakes in your car aren't working. Well, maybe you start noticing something or, you know, you get in somebody else's car to drive it and you notice that the brakes aren't working that well. And a little bit of fear comes up because you realize there's danger. And I think it's interesting when we're working around horses to really clearly identify the difference between a fear that's pointing towards a physical danger, which is a sign that you should take warning, just like with the car that has no brakes. If you're, for example, riding a horse that you can't stop, that could be physical danger. But that's different than the fear I'm talking about that I had when I was starting this podcast or the fear that a lot of my listeners experience when they're training their horses. Because for a lot of us, the fear is not a fear that's pointing towards danger. It's–a lot of it, it's a fear of not doing right by the horse or a fear of making a mistake that, "hurts the horse." But it's not like a physical hurt. It's more like the the fear that you're not good enough as their trainer, that they deserve better. And those, those are different than danger oftentimes. No, don't get me wrong. If you're in an area where you feel like you don't have enough knowledge and that is bringing up a fear. And when you take a look at it, you feel that it's actually pointing towards danger, then you need to address that right now because–it's–these are big animals. This is why I like to compare it to that car, you know, analogy. It's like things can go wrong and you can get hurt. This is not like having a goldfish, so it's much bigger. And so when I sit down to record these podcasts every week, one thing that really keeps me going is actually that intro that I just read to you, and that intro says that I'm here to teach you how to understand, enjoy, and successfully train your own horses.

Stacy Westfall:
And to me, what that means is when I was thinking about writing that intro 2 years ago, I thought, what is the one thing I could do that could really potentially change people's relationships with their horses for the better? And the first thing I thought of was understanding, because so many times when people are, you know, feeling fear or they're confused or they're frustrated or that thinking about giving up or whatever is going on there, that's not so fun. A lot of times that's where a lack of understanding exists. And so if I can help shed light on a different way to look at something and that increases your understanding, odds are that's going to increase your enjoyment of being around your horse. And that can be being around your horse. It can be being around any horse. Like when I'm around other people's horses, when I'm teaching clinics or, you know, any of those situations, it's all this increased understanding to increase the enjoyment and then I put in there when I was–when I was writing this intro 2 years ago. I understand because I know that that leads to that better relationship. It leads to enjoying because, yes, it's possible to enjoy a process that's hard. And so many times–one thing I think we run into with horses is that some of this stuff because it's physical, so there is a physical challenge to doing a lot of this stuff, and that's different than like the challenge of running your new phone or whatever electronic device you want to compare it to. That challenge feels very mental and it can feel a little bit physical, but not in the same way that riding the horse can or training the horse can. And so I thought if I can increase the understanding, I can raise that enjoyment level even when there's work involved that makes you sweat. And it's so hard and that ultimately helps you to understand how successful–how to successfully train a horse. And–and when I talk about successfully training, I phrase it in the intro, "successfully train your own horses." The reason I chose that phrasing–because I actually know I have a lot of trainers that listen to this–the reason I chose that phrasing was because I know that I want to empower riders. I want you to feel empowered. I want you to feel like you understand you are on this path and you're willing to take responsibility and and do this. And s, I phrased it to "train your own horses" because I want it to be something you take responsibility for. Because I don't know if you've listened to Episode 103, but in that I actually was talking about the phrase–I don't like the phrase, "It's all training." And the reason that I was kind of doing a little rant in Episode 103 about "it's all training" is because I don't love the phrasing, that it's all training. Like all time you spend with your horse is training. Because I think that that's like saying that all time that you spend with another person is building relationship. Well, it's all impacting your relationship, but it's not all building in a positive direction. I'm guessing that if we stopped for 10 seconds of silence right now, you could probably think about a relationship where, you know, 2 human beings that spend time together, but their relationship isn't getting better. So the rant in Episode 103 was more about the intentionality behind. It is all training. But I need you to have that awareness that it's–it's not always going in the right direction if you just put time there. And again, that's why I love doing this podcast, because I want to get you guys thinking, and that is some of my favorite feedback that I get from you, is when you tell me that, you know, it made you think differently. Or my favorite might be, right now, maybe it's just the mood I'm in, but I love it when people say you put into words something I've felt, something I've experienced, something I've known, but I didn't know how to express it. It's one of my favorite things to do here on the podcast, because a lot of times when I'm listening to podcasts, I listen and I listen with an open mind, but I also listen to be able to sharpen myself by pushing on the thoughts that they offer me. So if I offer you a thought like I'm going to in a minute, it's interesting, I think, if you're the listener to actually like think about how that impacts you.

Stacy Westfall:
So here's a thought I'm going to offer you–and put yourself into this situation and see how it would go. One of my favorite things to do here is, is actually bring in examples that don't involve horses that you guys can learn how to, like, feel these things with and without, like when you're with your horse, but also when you're not with your horse. So for me right now, 2 years later, I want to rename the podcast and I want to come up with new artwork and relaunch kind of the look of the podcast. And so when I took a look at doing this, there's kind of two different ways I can do it. I can hire a professional to do this for me or I can learn how to do it myself. Now, if you put yourself into that situation, what do you think you would choose? Would you hire the professional to do it for you or would you choose to do it yourself? Now, a little more information. I had a team that helped me like years ago when I before I started that first podcast, I took a class on how to podcast. So I've learned how to do it from scratch. Also, when I launched this podcast, I actually hired a team to help me get this podcast started because I knew one of the reasons I dropped the ball on the first one was because of a few of the different resistances that I had to producing the podcast–things that were hard. So I hired a team to help me, but I've actually completely weaned myself off and I do all of the podcast stuff myself. And then I've picked up a little bit of help here and there, maybe help with a transcript or help with, you know, different little things like that. So I've kind of been all over this. So this is not my first walk with a podcast. So keep that in mind when I tell you what I'm going to tell you. So I'm looking at rebranding the podcast. Renaming the podcast. This brings up a little bit of fear in me, because it's change. So change…I know I tend to react to that with like, why change? It's working. If you change, something could fall apart. Don't you remember when you changed that thing with your website and things fell apart? Because that really did happen. Like, I really did have a change with a website and it really did kind of fall apart and break a lot of things that were actually never fixable. But here's what's interesting. I actually had the professionals who were doing it for me when that happened. So professionals changed my website and it broke a lot of things because there were some flaws built into how the system was built from the beginning. This was not a danger in the sense of there was no physical threat of harm. It was not like I was driving my car down a mountain in Colorado and the brakes weren't working. I was not in danger. I was afraid. And actually some things broke when I–when the website was changed.

Stacy Westfall:
So now that I'm sitting here thinking–and I'm going to change the name of the podcast. And I'm telling you this now for 2 reasons. First of all, you're going to see a new look and you're going to see a new name. Second of all, if you don't see a new look and you don't see a new name, that's because when I changed it, I broke it. So if that happens, please search for Stacy Westfall in your favorite podcast player. Find me and subscribe again, because I recognize that with the professional help, I've talked to some people, I've done my homework, but I'm going to do this change myself. And there is a little bit of fear with that. But you know what else I get from that, though? I get to learn through the process. This is not fear pointing towards danger, where there's going to be an outcome that is going to be physically harming me. It will be slightly devastating if I lose all my subscribers when I make this change. But you know what? I also have faith that you'll find me again and you know what I'm doing. I'm also hoping more people will be able to find me when I change the name. So there's a risk, but there's also a reward. And the biggest reward I'm going to get from this, whether the name change breaks things or whether it helps things or whether it breaks things and then helps things. Did you follow all that any which way this goes? I am committed to learning through the process. I am not in physical danger, even though I know when I hit the save button on the page where I change it, I know I'm going to be feeling like I'm in physical danger because my heart, my respiration rate, everything, my stress level–let's just put it like that–my stress level will be high. I know this because this is not the first time I've put myself into these situations. But what I know is I get stronger when I do this. And oddly enough, when things break and I make it through it, I actually get stronger from that. Then if it works the first time out of the gate–and you know what, I'm human, so I still hope it works seamlessly and none of us experience any of the negative that could happen. But, the reason I tell you this story is because I think so many of you experienced that when you're working with your horses. I think you experience that moment where you've heard something on this podcast or you've watched something on YouTube or you've taken the lesson and you go to execute it and it doesn't feel like it's happening perfect. And because it doesn't feel like it's happening perfect, you start to get panicky and you start to think, I need to hire a professional, I need to get somebody else to help me. And don't get me wrong, I have asked questions of professionals. I have reached out. But there are some of these steps I'm going to take on my own. And when you're working with your horse, if you are not in danger, if you're not going to be physically harmed, if you're working in a realm where–let's just use something like a lead change or, you know, and it doesn't have to be that, but it needs to be something where it's like it feels like you could maybe something's not going to be perfect–it's not going to work exactly the way you want it to. Maybe you're inside my course and you're learning to do perfect circles, which I've considered renaming because just the name "Perfect Circles" sets some people back. Just the pressure of thinking that this circle goal is to be perfect for some people. That triggers them enough that I can actually when I'm coaching them, I can actually feel the resistance they have to the name that I've chosen for the exercise. That's the level of awareness I want to help you guys through. That's why 2 years ago when I came up with this podcast, it's why the first 4 seasons are what I would call the four square model. And let me say it again, in case you haven't listened to those, the four square model. When I was coming up with a podcast and trying to figure out how to represent what I'm talking about verbally, I said draw a plus sign in the air in your mind or on a piece of paper, and then in each one of those four quadrants, put the riders mind in one, the riders body in another, the horses mind, the horse's body. And those are the 4 components that I try to break problems up into. Because that's what we tend to see as coaches, is that people are either stuck in something like fear, which is in the riders mind, or something in the riders body where they're having trouble. They don't know where they should move their left hand or they don't know how to time the the hug in the legs and the balance between the bridle reins and the legs. Or maybe it's in the horse's mind, like the horse is experiencing fear and the rider's trying to figure out how to basically coach the horse through that. Or maybe it's something in the horse's body. Maybe it's a lameness or a soundness, or maybe it's a, you know, resistance and the rider doesn't know why. Does the horse not understand? That puts it into the horse's mind, or is the horse, you know, weak and that's why they're not doing it? And so that's really more in the horse's body.

So 2 years ago when I was launching the podcast and I came up with the four square model, I was simultaneously really happy that I had something tangible that I could use to anchor some of my thoughts. Because if you've been listening for a while, you might know my thoughts can kind of out there. But I wanted to anchor them for you. But let me tell you this: sometimes I think the four square model was really brilliant way to help you guys and sometimes I think it's totally cheesy. Like–and that's what my human brain does, it offers me thoughts like that's a totally cheesy thing and you shouldn't mention it anymore. So you know what? I go on with it. I know that–I know that my brain's going to offer me some of those things. I know that I've helped a lot of people with the podcast. I know that–that what I set for my goal when I was writing the intro, I know that I've increased the understanding, enjoyment, and I know that people have learned to successfully train horses better by listening to this, because you guys write to me all the time. I just got a letter this week and it was so nice to hear the feedback about how, again, she happened to be saying, you put into words what we went through when we euthanized our horse and thank you, because that helped me. And so even when I talk about subjects that make me cringe that they're not my favorite ones to talk about, I love when you guys reach out and tell me that, "it's really helped me." That is the cycle. And that is the cycle I hope you guys can see when you're training your horse that you reach out, you get information, you get it from maybe your riding instructor, maybe the podcast, maybe all of the above, because I'm all about learning from all kinds of different angles. And then you go home and you execute it. And there might be that little hesitation, that little tiny grain of fear that tells you maybe you could need more information. Let me tell you a secret. There's always more information. I'm doing this all the time. I am constantly looking to understand more. I am constantly looking to enjoy my time with my horses more. I am constantly wanting to be more successful with the way I train my own horses. And that's what I share here on the podcast. And going into next year into 2021, I'm going to be doing even more of that. So fire up the phone calls and start leaving your voicemails on the voicemail hotline over on my website because I'm going to be answering your questions again. I'm going to bring you a lot more information and I'm going to change the name of the podcast.

Stacy Westfall:
So out of curiosity, what was your gut reaction when I told you I was going to change the podcast and it might break everything, that I wasn't having a professional do it for me? It's interesting, I think when you're listening to somebody else talk through their thought process to kind of use that to weigh your thought process, and that doesn't make one of us right or one of us wrong, because I'll bet there's areas where you reach out to professionals first. And I bet there's areas where you take the risk, because I think on different levels we all do that. But I think it's interesting, if you let yourself listen and you put yourself into somebody else's shoes and you go, like, what would I do in that scenario? Sometimes you can start to see yourself and your own habits from a different angle. That's one of the things I like to let you do when you're listening to this podcast. And I share with you some of the ways that I think and some of the actions that I take. To celebrate, I'm going to be doing some giveaways. You can check out my website from now till Christmas. I will be doing a celebration very much like when I launched the podcast, be giving away hundreds of dollars worth of training, equipment, and fun prizes over there for doing simple things like sharing what your favorite episode was and why. And so, I just want to say thank you for listening, and if you're a new listener, I'd encourage you to go back and jump around and listen to all the different episodes. Search by topic, search it by season. It's–there's a lot there. If you're a listener from the beginning or one of the people that I get all the time emailing me saying you found it and you binge watched it, binge listened. I'm having a Netflix moment. That's what I've been doing, binge watching again. And so if you are a listener and you've been here and you've listened to all of them, hey, shoot me an email. Tell me what you want to see coming up and yeah, come celebrate with me now through Christmas. And thank you for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.

Announcer:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit stacywestfall.com For articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

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