Life Law #6

Life Law #6: There is no reality; only perception.

Strategy:Identify the filters through which you view the world.

I think I have read this one more times than the other laws as they have been taped to my mirror. Maybe that is because there is so much truth, and confusion, in the statement.

I have actually found freedom in this statement. It is easier for me to be forgiving when I realize that people are not experiencing the same exact thing…at least not in the same exact way.

I have always know this with horses. In fact the idea that they view the world through a different set of ‘filters’ is one of the attractions. Can I help to change those filters? Can I add or remove a layer until the horse sees the world in the ‘focus’ that will best help us both?

For example if his natural tendency is to fight or run…can I show him another way? And in doing so I have changed his perception, added a filter, and have reduced his overall stress in life.

I have heard it said that in your 30’s it is pretty normal to start self analyzing and I have found that to be true. I have looked at many of the ‘filters’ that I view the world through. Did your family have money or not have money when you were growing up…and how are you dealing with that now? Did your mom respond to questions in anger? Was your dad really strict…and now you have trouble disciplining? How did my Dad’s alcoholism affect me?

We all see and experience the world in our own unique and individual way and the reasons for this are many. In a discussion on this subject my husband Jesse reflected that, “I have heard some people say ‘That person doesn’t live in the real world.’ but it is darn sure real to them.”


  1. judith stahl on December 28, 2011 at 6:19 am

    I love this one. I feel the connection to it, as I hear things like that at AA meetings. The wisdom I gain at meetings helps me with my horse. Thank you.

  2. Terri Anderson on December 27, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    This is a great post, Stacy! Very thought provoking

  3. Janet on December 27, 2011 at 11:14 am

    This is a toughy because I have always believed that reality is what a person live in the moment, and not the judgment of overs. I have found this to be true with my horses, because if I am not in the moment with them then I am not there at all at that to me is my reality. Now as for life I do agree with Dr. Phil that it is one’s perseption of the moment and how they deal with it. Some people will panic under a great amount of stress such as a horse would and some will be calm cool and collected and then again others will wait for direction, and with all of that comes a whole set of emoitions that one deals with. I myself have learned that when I can’t deal with my own reality, I have to let go of that reality and let God take over, and in someways was I guess that would mean that I am getting a new set of dirctions for my own reality.

    HUMMM this is a really deep subject Stacy and thanks for sharing it, I would like to one day sit down with you and pick yours and Jesse’s brains on it a bit more and how you accually put this all to work in your training methods.

  4. Kim on December 27, 2011 at 10:42 am

    Love this one, Stacy! Lots to think about. Happy New Year!

  5. Chanida on December 27, 2011 at 6:28 am

    I was only saying to someone the other day that I am sick of being stereotyped to fit into other peoples boxes. Because they dont understand what is going through my head they create their own truths to fit me into their reality. Anxiety is not a fun thing to deal with & having to conquer my emotions in order to work with my horses can be quite challenging but without my horses I wouldnt get out of bed in the morning. I think if more people would spend time identifying their own filters then maybe they’d stop expecting everyone else to be like them….

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