Episode 258_ Choosing and Celebrating Success.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Speaker1:
I chose to look at the trip to the show as a learning and growth opportunity for both myself and for Gabby. So by the time I saw the external results coming in, I had already racked up dozens of wins measured by my own standards.
Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.
Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall and I'm here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your own horses. In this podcast I'm discussing how you define Success and celebrate success. This podcast came about because I was thinking about last week's podcast, and it occurred to me that I did not mention Gabby's winnings, which got me pondering why. The first thing that came to my mind when I thought maybe I didn't share Gabby's winnings, because I've got some sort of fear of, like, society pushing back on me. I've had that happen before, especially on YouTube, when I've shared successes that I've had with the horses, where people say things about bragging or look at me, or things like that that are somewhat unpleasant to read. So that was the first thing that came to my mind, was maybe I didn't say anything about her winning because of some sort of fear of that. But something I teach inside the resourceful rider is what I call the body scan. And what that means is pause and slow down for a minute. Think that thought and feel for the answer in your body. So when I slowed down and thought, was that the reason that I didn't mention Gabby winning was I avoiding what other people might think if I said that she won? And the answer in my body was no. The answer in my body was I didn't even consider mentioning it. So that's different.
Speaker1:
If I'd considered it and then decided not to, that would have been a different scenario than I literally didn't even consider mentioning it. So then the question comes back why might that be? Why did it not even occur to me? Well, I'm telling you more behind the scenes now. First of all, I did celebrate it when it happened. I made it a very big deal to me, and I let myself feel it fully meaning when I saw the placings, when I saw Gabby was earning money. Because in the NHRA and the National Reining Horse Association, as you win, you also win money. And so a lot of the times, the horse's records and the rider's records are an accumulation of money earned, and that's how it's reflected back. This horse has earned X amount of money. This rider has earned X amount of money. So when I saw Gabby earned her first NHRA money, I was delighted. Surprised. I was like, it just has this super light, floating kind of a feeling up in my chest. Like just so much joy. Even now, going back to it, like, my eyes feel like they want to open more. Like I've just opened up some big surprise. So first of all, I want you to know I did celebrate it myself and really felt it fully. I was not in some sort of denial and pushing it away there. Then I also celebrated it with those near me.
Speaker1:
So that was both physically near me. So that would have been at the reigning show. And then when I drove over to the Liberty show, I also told people that were physically near me. Then if you had been near me, you would have probably heard about it. If you were someone who was close to me and knew about my journey with Gabby, because, see, I didn't just go over like to the LA show and just start telling anybody because I was actually telling people who would understand why the winning was meaningful to me, the people who I was most likely to tell, even whether that was physically close to them or sending out a text message or Facebook message. They were people who, when I told them, were basically getting like another page in the story of my journey with Gabby. So it felt very meaningful to me to tell them like, this is the update of what's going on with us. So this is why I believe it did not occur to me to share it with you last week, even though I was clearly doing a review of the shows. Basically, I gave myself the assignment in the podcast of sharing lessons that I learned and inside of lessons that I learned. The winnings didn't have a place. So when I gave myself that assignment of looking for and sharing the lessons I had learned when I did that, the lessons came to me in what I like to call the smaller moments.
Speaker1:
Those are the light bulb Moments of awareness that I talked about in last week's podcast that happened in the warm up pen, or the idea that I would be riding in one of my rides and I would think, oh, this is what I think's going on, and I would make some adjustments, and then I wouldn't really know the answer about how Gabby thought about it until the next ride. So these are the things that I've trained myself to look at. And what's interesting is those the reason they made the list of lessons is because those are the things that are so easy for less experienced riders to look for. They're way more likely, I find, to skip past the little learning moments. And yet those are the things that I know are completely in my control. And I also know the compounding effect of finding those learning moments. Rejoicing in the fact that I found them making adjustments in real time and then moving on. So at the end of the day, at the end of that weekend, and when I sat down to record last week's podcast, I was thrilled that Gabby earned her first NHRA money. But that fact didn't make the cut as a lesson learned. Here's another interesting fact I didn't go into the weekend with that as a goal.
Speaker1:
I went into the weekend with the goal of advancing our training, of seeing the gaps so that I could make a plan. Seeing what changed when I'm in the show environment, whether that's a change in me or a change in Gabby, and this explains why my focus was so dialed in on how each ride went and what I could learn in each ride. It also explains why each step I took felt like a win. So for me, when I'm looking at the successes from that weekend, deciding to go that weekend was a success. Getting in and driving there felt like a win. I paid extra money to move in a day early, so I could have both extra arena time, and because it was going to make it possible for me to go over and spectate at the Liberty Festival. Those decisions and then executing those decisions felt like a win. I said it in last week's podcast, so I won't repeat every single one. But even the realization during my first ride of, oh, this is how I'm approaching it, and this is what's causing this, okay, this is what I can shift. That felt like a win. If there is one thing that has radically shifted in me from that first bridleless ride that I talk about now being 20 years ago, that ended in complete failure. One major shift is how I choose to measure my success.
Speaker1:
I heard this quote this week and fell in love with it instantly. It says our eyes only see and our ears only hear what our brain is looking for. Dan Sullivan. And it resonates so strongly with me because I chose to look at the trip to the show as a learning and growth opportunity for both myself and for Gabby. So by the time I saw the external results coming in, I had already racked up dozens of wins, measured by my own standards, the things that my eyes were looking for. What my brain was looking for. So this is what made the additional external win feel like an unexpected bonus. It's October, so the holidays are officially coming. I want you to imagine that someone hands you a $1,000 bonus that you don't see coming. That would be pretty fun. Well, by the end of the weekend, Gabby had won over $1,000 in Nrha money, and it felt like an unexpected and very appreciated bonus. But it also explains why that external win didn't make it into last week's podcast. The other thing I got thinking about after I discovered that I had left out the fact that Gabby had won money, was that this is actually a really great Reflection of the way I want to be when I show my horses. I don't show to prove something to myself or to someone else. I show because I appreciate the growth that happens with me and with my horses.
Speaker1:
So the fact that it didn't occur to me to lead with, or even close with her winnings in last week's podcast tells me that I'm placing my value where my priorities are, and that was in the lessons learned. I know Gabby is becoming more well educated through this process, and I have said it out loud before. If Gabby never won a dime, I would still love riding her. This path that I've chosen to challenge us happens to be in reining. But if you've been a longtime podcast listener, especially if you go back and listen to season nine, which starts around episode 90, you'll also realize I could have set a goal in something like trail riding. So just to be clear, I'm not saying that all horses need to be on a path that leads to showing, but I will say this. Horses enjoy learning, and sometimes that learning might lead to showing, and other times it might be learning. Patience that comes from learning to stand tied. Or sometimes it's learning how to bow or lie down or load into a trailer. Horses do enjoy learning, so no matter what you're teaching your horse, I would encourage you to look for ways that you can measure your success that are completely in your control. There are so many ways that you can measure success without it being a standard measure, like winnings at a horse show.
Speaker1:
There are so many ways this can be done. Inside my Resourceful Rider program, I encourage students to celebrate their successes and to write in and share them. And I open the majority of the weekly calls by reading a success story that's been submitted by a student. Here are a few examples. I'm celebrating the small wins today. Monday was a beautiful sunny day, and after a session in the indoor arena, my friend and I decided to go for a walk outside. Most of the trails are too wet right now to ride on, but there's a gravel drive that leads down to a small creek. Usually my mare is distracted and gets tense while out on the trails, especially going by the field of draft horses. But today I used the techniques that Stacy demonstrated on Presto's trail ride and it worked like a charm. She was looking around but stayed between my hands and legs as I asked for gentle bends left and then right, and didn't get overly excited. We even crossed the creek that was rushing with water and after looking at it, she slowly made her way across. So excited to see how much we will progress over the rest of the year. Gracie and I thank you so much. I want to share my success, but most of all my observations and learning from the backup from the ground. I can't say enough how this has put me on the path forward to collection.
Speaker1:
I know it's better for my horse to use her body correctly and that it is way more pleasant to ride, but I've also found she is way more focused. This is huge for my sometimes overly reactive mare that can easily become distracted, and I've used it out on the trail to bring her focus back to me. Also, I'm finding when we stop and back up. She's standing more square. Still a work in progress. Thank you. Thank you, Stacy, for your guidance. A nicker sounds like such a small thing, but it really is a big thing. I've been increasing my ask of my horse, so both of us are working harder and tackling challenging things. Yet the other day as I was leaving the farm, she nickered at me from her field. She's always been a more reserved type of mare, so this type of engagement from her was so exciting. It's proving that you truly can have both a relationship and training results. I'm so very thankful for this program and your amazing guidance. On my last coaching video you suggested for us to work wandering circles. What a difference they have made for both of us. We can Canter now. For years I left the barn totally frustrated wondering what was wrong with me. It would take most of the arena to actually change gate. Then I would bounce around, usually on the wrong lead.
Speaker1:
Now we can pick up the lead within a few steps and actually Canter several circles in a row without breaking. Thank you. I just finished listening to the September 13th zoom call and felt like I had to submit a success story ASAP. I could so identify with the conversation with Shelly about her horse, questioning if it's worth it, wondering why it's taking so long and often feeling like a failure because of it. When I bought my mare as an unstarted three year old, I came into it with enough experience starting horses to feel pretty confident in knowing the path and reasonable timeline. Well, five years later, let's just sum it up and say my horse is definitely an outlier. I think the hardest part of the process for me has been the mental side of it. That's where the success comes in. Don't get me wrong, I've had a ton of training success too, but the mental side is so huge it's helped me see and celebrate my success. To acknowledge, sometimes grieve, and then deal with my feelings about areas that are still slow to come along. For her, that's mostly the ability to work quietly around groups of other horses. It has helped me to accept what she's telling me about herself. That has allowed me to plan and work on ways that stretch that without pulling her over the threshold and putting us both in danger.
Speaker1:
It has helped me identify and accept what it is I'm saying no to. For now, at least, because she's not at a level where we can succeed in those spaces, at least for now. But the real gold is that it has helped me love the process and start to truly enjoy my time with her. The other day I was cantering her along through an open field, loving how totally between my age and in tune she was with me. She was loving it, listening to me and willing to give me every bit of what she knows. I was enjoying every minute of our time together and appreciating the level of fitness she is developing in so many places. Immediately, my mind wanted to offer the fact that it was ridiculous. For all the fine tuning she has in other areas, that she still struggles so much around groups of horses, especially those who aren't under good mental control because of the mind work I have done. I saw the thought and before I had any bad feelings about it, I once again accepted who she is, the good and the bad, and went right back to enjoying our freedom flying through that field. Not everyone's success is going to include sticking with those tough horses, but no matter what the end result is, I know the answer is going to be found in doing the mindset work and getting real with yourself.
Speaker1:
Thank you, Stacy, for teaching us how to do that, and for holding our hands as we deal with some of these very hard feelings. Thank you to all of the resourceful writers who have sent in so many amazing success stories. I could record a success story at the beginning of every podcast for the next two years, and still not cover all the successes that have been shared inside of the course, and that's amazing. If you want to be a student of the course, you're going to have to first become a student of yourself. If you do not do this, you will always be going at your horse. And that's a huge thing that separates people when working with their horse. If they're approaching with an awareness of themselves first and then an awareness of the horse, things change faster. If you skip the awareness of yourself. What happens is you see an incomplete picture. Your horse still sees you, but you're not seeing you and how you're showing up. My notes at the top of this season of the podcast say review, revisit. Relearn. Those were not notes I made to share with you. Those were notes I made to myself. It's something I aspire to do myself before I approach things in life, and especially before I approach things with the horse. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.
Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall. Com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.
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