Episode 239: Do you have a connection issue or cue system confusion?

When I hear a rider say, ‘I’ve lost the connection with my horse.” I see red flags go up in my mind.

Here’s why.

The vast majority of the time, if I were picking a number, I’d say about 80% of the time, that I hear this AND SEE the horse being ridden…I see CUE SYSTEM CONFUSION. 

When you use your reins, or apply your leg, or shift your weight, these are like individual ‘words,’ that when combined become sentences. 

Your cue system with your horse is a language.

When a rider is unclear with their cues, it makes sense that the horse would be unclear about the correct answer.

If the horse responses to a cue from the rider in an unexpected way, the rider must determine how the language became muddled or confused to produce this.

But you won’t be able to do this if you think you have a connection problem. 

Every time you want to say ‘It felt like I lost the connection with my horse’ I want you to replace it with “I lost the words to communicate with my horse.”

The best news is, you can learn this language. And your horse is open to listening. 

Episode 239_ Do you have a connection issue or cue system confusion_.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Episode 239_ Do you have a connection issue or cue system confusion_.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker1:
Every time you have some version of the thought that you lost the connection with your horse, I want you to replace it with. I lost the words to communicate with my horse. I'm going to get better at this language.

Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall. And I'm here to teach you how to understand, enjoy, and successfully train your own horses. In this episode, I'm discussing cue system confusion and the idea of losing connection with your horse. I am recording this as I prep for a class that I'm teaching on Saturday titled How to Relax Your Body and Communicate Clearly When Riding. Years ago, when I started this podcast, I developed a concept called the Four Square Model. Basically, all challenges, problems, and successes benefit from being examined. Using this, the four quadrants are the rider's mind, the rider's body, the horse's mind, the horse's body. Earlier this year, I taught a class with a focus on how the rider's mind impacts the other three quadrants. This Saturday, I'll be discussing the physical cue system. This is where the rider's body and the horse's body interact. When you are using your reins or applying your leg or shifting your weight, these are like individual words that you speak to your horse and you combine them to create phrases and sentences. Your cue system with your horse is a language. And what happens is when a rider becomes unclear with their cues, it makes sense that the horse would be unclear about the correct answer. And so if the horse responds to a cue that you give in an unexpected way, it becomes your job to determine how the language became muddled or confused to produce this. On Saturday, I'll share with you how and why the cue system changes as the horse advances in training.

Speaker1:
Understanding just this one piece will make it easier for you to determine if the resistance you're encountering is part of advancing or if your horse is confused and you need to return to something more clear. If you would like to feel more confident about the age that you're using and more clear when communicating with your horse, join me on Saturday for this free training. I'll tell you how at the end in this podcast, I want to separate out these two ideas. Cue system confusion. And the idea that you could be losing connection with your horse. Here's how I view it. When I hear a rider say, I've lost the connection with my horse, in my mind I see red flags going up. And here is why. The vast majority of the time, if I were to pick a number, I would say about 80% of the time when I hear a rider say this and I see the horse, whether that's live or whether that's on video, what I see is cue system confusion. So to try this on every time you want to say it felt like I lost connection with my horse today, I want you to replace it with. I lost the words to communicate with my horse today. Think of it like this. One of you speaks horse fluently and one of you speaks human fluently. And when the connection is broken. But I'm going to scratch that when the communication is broken, when the words aren't being understood, it is your job to figure out how to clarify the words.

Speaker1:
So think back to a time when you were on the phone with someone and it was a bad connection. The words you were speaking were cutting in and out. Their response to you was also cutting in and out. That is a loss of connection, cell phone connection, Internet connection, whatever it is. That connection was breaking up and words were lost or words were garbled or words were undistinguishable. When the call drops, you say. Oh, Lost the connection. Got a call back. Think of it like this. You did not lose the closeness that you feel with your mother. If that's who you were talking on the phone with. You did not lose the closeness. You lost the ability to communicate using the telephone at that time. When I Googled it. Google says human connection is the sense of closeness and belonging a person experiences when having supportive relationships with those around them. Connection is when two or more people interact with each other and the person feels valued, seen and heard. Stacy's Summary I'm summarizing it as connection is the ability to understand and be understood. There is a reason that when two people speak different languages, it's called a language barrier. So I had to Google that also. What is considered a language barrier? The answer is language barriers arise when many words have more than one meaning and a sender and a receiver try to communicate in a language which they themselves do not understand properly.

Speaker1:
Can you see how easily this could happen with your horse? The next time you think the connection is. The problem I want you to think is the language that you're speaking with, your horse being clearly spoken. Now you actually have to define what clearly spoken is. If you whisper in a crowded restaurant. Is that clear? What is interfering if you are speaking clearly. Maybe you just need to move to a different location. Maybe a crowded restaurant isn't the right setting right now with this horse. Actually, that would be really interesting. Let me know how that goes. Was the communication clear? In a more quiet environment. If you are communicating with your horse clearly in your back yard because it's quiet and the horse understands you there, but then you go to the horse version of a crowded restaurant. That same whisper might not be enough for your horse to understand you. Now, don't go jumping to the idea that you need to yell. But there is something to speaking clearly. But before you worry about that, you actually need to know if the words you're speaking are clearly understood. When I'm teaching in the Resourceful Writer program and I'm watching a student's video or when I am teaching in person or doing a live lesson, I often serve as an interpreter. I explained to the student what I see them doing. For example, I see that you're using your reins like this. Your left rein, is here.

Speaker1:
Your right. Rein, is here. This leg is back. This leg is forward. It looks like you're asking your horse to move laterally with this particular bend. I also see that your horse recognizes this combination of cues involves both reins, which could be confused as slowing down, not moving forward as much. And that when you use this leg and not this one at the same time, the horse is offering to yes, move, but move with less forward motion and almost into a spin instead of moving laterally. Can you see why he's offering you these things? What I'm doing when I act as an interpreter is I am showing the student. The combination of Aids you are using is very similar to some other combinations of Aids that you also use. So when it feels like your horse is being resistant or is confused, oftentimes if you start breaking it down, you can begin to see how the horse came to the conclusion that they did. When you separate these things out, it makes it much easier for you to break it apart and clarify things for the horse. Oh, I can see that the way that I'm using my reins is restricting that horse's forward motion, not because I've got too much pressure on the reins, but because the combination of these things is giving my horse the impression that he's not supposed to do this. So to clarify this for him, I'm going to open this and move this way and I'm going to do a certain number of things like this to get him thinking a certain way, because it wasn't that I was asking wrong, it was that my phrasing was so similar to something else.

Speaker1:
Thatrillionight Now our languages don't match up quite enough for that level of nuance. So let's go back to something I said earlier. When I say to you, the 80% of your challenges with your horse could be coming because of a language barrier or a lack of clarity. Do you find that hard to believe? Or does it seem like it just might be true? Answer this. What would change if you did believe that your horse was experiencing a lack of clarity or misinterpreting your signals? Many people take this personally one way or the other. They either take it personally, as in he doesn't like me, he doesn't want to be with me. He doesn't want to do what I want to do. And so they take it personally, like the horse is doing this against you. Or when I say this, people take it personally, as in they feel guilty that they are being unclear. And what I'm saying is just replace all of this with your horse doesn't clearly understand you. How can you help clarify this? Can you see that if you were in your horse's shoes and the language was unclear or garbled or breaking up, can you see that it would make sense that he would make his own decisions, go his own way, try his own ideas, or even want to get back to the herd where they speak the same language? Keep this in mind.

Speaker1:
Horses are remarkably open to learning. I have been around them my whole life, and I've been a professional in the industry now for over 25 years, and I am still stunned by their willingness to learn. Horses of all ages. Horses of all past experiences. It is remarkable to me how open to learning they are. Yes, the 26 year old horse can still learn the language. Yes, the two week old foal is a sponge, learning faster than you can imagine because they were standing and running with mom within hours, which means the whole process is moving faster than you naturally imagine. And now for the best news ever. You are capable of learning this language and your horse is open to understanding what you're saying. Every time you have some version of the thought that you lost the connection with your horse, I want you to replace it with. I lost the words to communicate with my horse. I'm going to get better at this language. If you want to learn more about communicating clearly with your horse, go to my website and register for the free class I'm teaching on Saturday. How to Relax Your Body and Communicate Clearly when riding. The link is on the home page and if you're on my email list, I'll also send it to you that way. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.

Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy westfall.com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

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