Episode 238_ To those who are pursuing their dreams..mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Speaker1:
So let's talk about it. Why all the tears? The tears that when you're talking to me, you don't know are coming and then they hit you. It's because of all the emotions that have been held back like water behind a dam. And that dam was fear.
Speaker2:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.
Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall. And I'm here to teach you how to understand, enjoy, and successfully train your own horses. In this episode, I want to discuss the challenge of pursuing your dreams with your horse, and I want to share and explain a very vulnerable moment that I frequently witness. My hope is that by explaining this moment to you, I can help normalize it. And although it is a very, very vulnerable spot, I very much hope you experience it. But before I explain this moment, let me set the stage. I have the beautiful privilege of speaking with many people who love horses. The majority are women. Many of them are pursuing their horse dreams in the second half of life. Most own horses for enjoyment and want to learn and understand more about them. Some are professionals who have a career with horses. The tipping point where I meet many of these people is the stage where they're stepping into action to pursue their dream. It might be the first step to pursuing the dream, or it might be pursuing their dream at the next level. So let's pause for a moment right here. Why is it so common for people to struggle with pursuing their dreams? There's a quote by Henry David Thoreau that says the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with their song still in them. This problem has been around for a while. There's one main driving reason that most people agree on, and I would say you could even look at it through two different categories if you wanted to start exploring it a little bit deeper for yourself.
Speaker1:
The one main reason is summarized by one word fear. The two categories will make it a little bit more clear what those fears are. The main reason that fits into both categories is fear. The first category is outside pressure. That's going to include fear of what other people will think. Fear of what they will say if you fail. Fear of pursuing your dream without the support of those around you. Fear of being misunderstood. Maybe you pursue something with your horse and somebody says that you're selfish because moms shouldn't be doing that. Fear of change. This one's interesting because. A subtle version of this is if you change, will others around you also change social norms? Too old, Too young. You shouldn't be doing that with a family. You should be doing something else instead. Basically judgments of your priorities being wrong. The reason I think this is worthy of being its own category is because we are hard wired to want to be part of a group, to fit in, to be understood. So it's natural that outside pressure is going to want to influence us and our decisions. But. Justrillionemember You can look at it and then still make your own decisions, which kind of sort of means that the second category, which would be inside pressure, is actually a huge piece of how you view the first category. Outside pressure. This is where I think a lot of the gold nuggets of this episode are hidden because when you are pursuing your dreams and maybe going against social norms and maybe even surrounded by people who don't understand why you actually enjoy manure, dust and sweat.
Speaker1:
Many of you have already gotten to the point where you've overcome that. But for those of you who've made it that far and want to go a little further, this is where the tipping point often is. I will frequently speak with women who are caught off guard by what comes with the choice to go all in on your dream. And what happens when you go all in on your dream? And I'm standing there talking to you, asking you what you truly want and why. If you let yourself open up to it, what you often open to is a flood of emotions. It is common for me to be talking with someone about what they want to do and why they want to do it, and they will often cry and in the middle of crying they will often apologize and also say they do not understand why they're crying. They'll try to compose themselves and pull themselves back together like they're doing something wrong. And I'm telling you, it's not wrong. It's beautiful. And if you are listening to this and you think I'm recording this podcast because I talked with you just know that I've also talked to 50 other women this month who also cried. So yes, it was you and all the others just like you. So let's talk about it. Why all the tears? The tears that when you're talking to me, you don't know are coming and then they hit you.
Speaker1:
It's because of all the emotions that have been held back like water behind a dam. And that dam was fear. And when you poke a hole in it and you start pursuing your dream. You think that when you start pursuing your dream of horses and you go to the next level or you start taking the first steps to owning a horse or you start taking your first steps to going and showing at the World Show or whatever that version of the dream is. A lot of times when you think you're going to take that next step, it's going to be rainbows and daisies and unicorns and you're finally going to achieve. And then you realize that all the emotions come busting through. It's like if you hold back on your dreams, things feel safe. But if you've ever read the book The Giver or seen the movie in that movie, everything is void of color. And when fear is blocking you, even if you've gone to five levels with your horse out of ten, which is what you really want to do, even when you're at level five, if you know you want to go to level ten, you're still blocking some of that color. And when you admit that you want to go to ten and you are not there, the emotion of admitting that you want that is real. And when you move past the fear, especially enough to verbalize it with someone like me, what happens is you get life in full color.
Speaker1:
And in that moment when you verbally speak it to me, you get the full color of emotions. And while you were expecting to pursue things and have love and joy and gratitude and contentment and probably challenges and you knew you were going to need to feel committed, you did not know that the good would make you want to cry because you wanted it that bad and you did not know that you would feel all the fears. But now, more specific and in full color, you may have been expecting to feel playful and content and peaceful and thankful, and you may have even thought, I'm fine with determined and committed resolve, dedication. But you did not know it was going to amplify uncomfortable, incompetent, lack, annoyed and a lot of other things you weren't planning on feeling. There is nothing more vulnerable than truly opening to an experience that you want and you cannot fully control. And there is also nothing more profoundly life changing. If you have already experienced the moment I'm talking about, congratulations. That's what it feels like to pursue your dream. And keep this in mind. I have a spoon rest in my kitchen that says Life is tough, my darling, but so are you. And if you haven't yet opened yourself so fully to what you truly desire, that it makes you cry to talk about it, I hope you have that wonderful and disturbingly, profoundly deep experience sometime soon. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.
Speaker2:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy westfall.com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.
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