Episode 271: The Unseen Connection: Counting Strides vs. Navigating Emotional States

Episode 271_ The Unseen Connection_ Counting Strides vs. Navigating Emotional States.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Episode 271_ The Unseen Connection_ Counting Strides vs. Navigating Emotional States.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker1:
But I'm always thinking of the next thing I have to do, or running from the other thing I just got done that I would love to have that disappear. So if I just accept that for what it is, I hadn't thought about that. Just accepting it.

Speaker2:
Yeah.

Speaker1:
Can you hear how that's the same thing that's happening when you're riding right now?

Speaker2:
Yeah. Like just. Hit me.

Speaker2:
Like it's that same escalation and this is such a perfect example.

Speaker3:
Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.

Speaker1:
Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall and I'm here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your own horses. In this episode, I want to show you how what's going on in your mind will be reflected in your experience with your horse, and sometimes this is a challenging connection to make. But today I'm going to share with you a conversation that demonstrates it perfectly. This is another segment from a recent free class that I taught. When I teach these classes, they're open to anyone and I plan on doing them regularly in 2024. So be sure to check my website frequently or get on my email list so that you'll get updates about any of these upcoming free classes that I'm teaching. Because this is a segment from a strategic planning session for your horse related dreams or goals. You'll hear Kristen referencing other parts of what I was teaching, like time, and you're going to hear me asking questions very specifically about goals, etc. but for today, you have one assignment. As you listen, the breakthrough for Kristen comes at the end of our conversation. Notice the conversation could have branched in many different directions, but look for how I was searching for the intersection of her experience with her horse and how that relates to her way of thinking. This is such a great example of how what's going on in our mind will be reflected in our experience with our horse. Notice also that I give Kristen actual advice on what to physically do. You'll hear the part about counting strides, but listen to the problem. Counting strides will not fix this issue if the part that's happening in her thinking isn't addressed. Now I'm going to play our conversation, and then I'll come back afterwards and explain why I see this frequently happen with riders. So how are you?

Speaker1:
I'm good. How are you?

Speaker1:
Good. What are your goals for this year?

Speaker2:
So my goal for this year is to ride Western Dressage level three. And unlike my other years up until this point, I just dove in and like, just floated all over the place and did it and just went for it. This year, I want to ride confidently, beautifully in like authentically because it's I'm in over my head. Because I have the knowledge for the lower levels, but both my horse and myself have not done. These moves. And now we're preparing for lead changes, which, by the way I've never even ridden one. So that's that's kind of where I'm sitting and and on top of that I want to do some liberty and, and have some fun. So I want to make sure that I, that I put that in there. So the other thing, the obstacle I'm having besides not knowing what I don't know, is fighting my age. So as I want to get it all done and I get to apply for Medicare this year. Obviously I'm a driven person and I love my horse, I love horsemanship, I love everything about it, and I never got to do it before. So I've taken it on with a vengeance at least the last six years, and this year won't be any different. Um, but I just fight that, like what's real? What's realistic? So that's one of my obstacles.

Speaker1:
Okay. So this year let me go back and clarify a couple things this year. Did you say last year you just dove in? Or this year you're diving in?

Speaker2:
Other years I've dove in and just went for it all the way from, you know, basic one to –

Speaker1:
Has that worked for you?

Speaker2:
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker1:
So why are you, why are you changing your system if it's been working?

Speaker2:
I just don't like going into it feeling wishy washy. Maybe it's because I'm getting older.

Speaker1:
Okay, so you something. What about it felt wishy washy?

Speaker2:
Um, it felt risky. It felt like. It's just like living on the edge. I want to know more. I love dressage, okay. And particularly western dressage. So I've really loved, you know, learning it, understanding it. So I have all this book knowledge. Um, but putting my but I don't have the but knowledge. So I want to feel confident when I go into the show ring unlike I've had before. And what that might look like might be different than I'm thinking it is. Um, but I want to feel more solid, and most people would take stay at the level that they're at, um, and say, okay, then I can get those skills honed on, and maybe that's what I should be doing. And my other Christian sense says, no, you just have to go for it because that's your style. Um, and it's obviously worked so far because I've had a lot of success. So it's just I want to I want to go out there with my beautiful new gelding and just be like, confident and just and have other people appreciate that, too.

Speaker1:
Um, when –

Speaker2:
– You have an older age –

Speaker1:
When you think about. Have you experienced with any horse or any other area of life? The feeling of confidence that you want to have when you imagine it in this show situation?

Speaker2:
That is a great question. Um, that is a great question. Once or twice. So that would be a new thing in a physical athletic. Hobby.

Speaker1:
Yeah.

Speaker2:
And it would be very new.

Speaker1:
The thing to peel apart would be to think about like. Is that is that something that you actually truly want, or is the dive in part of you like a lot of how you are? And I think you can explore both, but the curiosity I have is like, okay, this has been working and you've, you've you've been doing it, you've been successful. And the number one thing that you're reporting is that you would like a more what's the word. Is it going to be like grounded, you said settled, confident, calm kind of along that vibe.

Speaker2:
Yes. Grounded is a very good way to put it. Okay.

Speaker1:
So you want this more grounded feeling. What's your gut reaction? If I say, would you have that grounded feeling if you went back and showed level one, would that instantly give you a grounded feeling? Yes. Okay. So you already know that that instantly gives you a grounded feeling. So what are you resisting about doing that.

Speaker2:
I don't want to go back to level one. Are you kidding? I want to level three.

Speaker1:
Right. But but here we're seeing like.

Speaker2:
Yeah.

Speaker1:
Kristen, who wants grounded feeling also doesn't want level one. You know how you can have the grounded feeling okay.

Speaker2:
All right.

Speaker1:
Okay. So you know how you can have the grounded feeling. Yeah. So what's what's drawing you to level three.

Speaker2:
Um. It's just the next level up. And it's it's been an interesting process. Once I crossed over into more of the collection things in the higher levels, it's so much harder. It's blowing my mind, which is fun. Yeah, and yet mind blowing. So I want to be I have to be a little more careful because it's more physical for me. Um, it's more physical for my horse. So going through that process, you know, he's young, I'm old. So to be careful not to have injury to be careful. It's, it's a higher level of responsibility okay.

Speaker1:
Now it feels like we're making some progress. With, okay, so, you could get that grounded feeling if you wanted it. So there's ways that you could get that. Um. Whether that's going back down in a level, but you actually know how to harness it. When you think about showing in third, or you think, what's the opposite of the grounded, what's the feeling that you're kind of like, uh, is what's the one that you're experiencing that you'd want less of.

Speaker2:
Like out of control.

Speaker1:
Physically out of control or emotionally out of control?

Speaker2:
The emotional thing is coming. That's been a little easier each year I do this, um, the physical out of control. It's it's tough and I'm not define out.

Speaker1:
Of control for us like out of control. Meaning like what does out of control mean to you?

Speaker2:
Great question. Here's my example. Somebody last year told me, you've got this big, beautiful horse. You just need to let him go. Literally. I am physically afraid to see what it would be like to turn him loose. He is a he's a 100% good guy. He's the 1 in 1,000,000 horse. Every old lady wants a horse like Samson. So I started doing galloping in the front yard to see how far I could take it. And that went okay, but I didn't open him up. Do I need to open them up? No, but in in the show ring, I need to learn to open that up more and get confident in being able to. Yeah I'm not going to fall off.

Speaker1:
Mhm.

Speaker2:
And really hurt myself and ruin my life. Right. So there's a there's that risk thing that holds me back because I can't. Responsibly. Just go for broke. And let the power be where it's supposed to be going.

Speaker1:
Yeah, I think some of something for you to explore around that would be, um, that. It sounds like, uh, so first of all, there is a difference between what you could open gallop out through a field versus gallop in a dressage arena, because the dressage arena automatically has limits on it. But what it sounds like you might be talking about is that recovery of the horse coming back to you when you go up, is that what it feels like? You go up, but he doesn't come back.

Speaker2:
Yes, but he does come back. But I'm just afraid to let it go.

Speaker1:
Well, I don't, I don't know that let it go. So this might be where it starts to get more nuanced in the talking. Which is why, like, Let It Go is something you could do on a racetrack or in a field. And that can become challenging because, uh, for several different reasons. Until horses have learned how to do that kind of letting go, they oftentimes mentally spin. They oftentimes physically get unbalanced. So that risk is a real in the world. But it's less risky in a dressage arena setting because of the length of the arena. It doesn't matter if you set that setting up in a field or on a racetrack, it's just that they there's a limit to the way they can get traveling in that amount. There's a limit there. So that's where um, watch that when your brain starts to phrase it like like. Play with the nuances of something between out of control and not as much control as I want. Does that make sense?

Speaker2:
Okay, that makes perfect sense.

Speaker1:
And so it's like, because it's like.

Speaker2:
I want a lot that I can't always have that.

Speaker1:
And so. Well, it's like when you go up and like it could be as simple as you start counting strides on the way back down, he he came back in five strides. I mentally didn't recover for three more laps around the arena. You've got to start separating those things out. Got it. Um, because there's a there's a, um, just exactly the way that as you go through the levels, that level of collection and nuance that you're experiencing when you go into like a third level dressage is literally your thinking and your recovery has to happen. You've got to be able to transition. Instead of doing 15 movements inside of a test, you're going to do 32, which means your transitions and your thinking, and you're up and you're down mentally and physically have to be like that. And so that that grounded for you might be this exploration of being like, Kristen needs to know how to come up and then back down and come to grounded. And so you might need to get more elastic at that, like physically and emotionally. And you might have to explore all these different layers of how that looks mean. Like, like you actually Canter on the horse. Or then you notice that your brain runs away with you in other areas of life and, and, and then you notice that you're comfortable in this high state because that's where you've spent a lot of time. And so there's layers that go into this that can be separated by horse and rider. More so than what I'm hearing you do.

Speaker2:
Okay. That sounds wonderful.

Speaker1:
Okay.

Speaker2:
Yes.

Speaker1:
Okay. So what's your theme for the year? Do you have one yet?

Speaker2:
Um, you know what? Where did I put this in my note? Accept time not fighting it.

Speaker1:
Okay, so.

Speaker2:
I go.

Speaker1:
Yep.

Speaker2:
I'm like, run hard and fast all week long. And I keep thinking, why don't I have enough time? Why don't I have enough time? So that part. And life is transitioning for us as well. So I have to it's like I have to rein, all that insanity in. So the time factor and I spent a lot of time riding.

Speaker1:
Mhm.

Speaker1:
And that's time stands still. But I'm always thinking of the next thing I have to do or running from the other thing I just got done that I would love to have that disappear. So if I just accept that for what it is, I hadn't thought about that. Just accepting it.

Speaker1:
Yeah. Can you hear how that's the same thing that's happening when you're riding right now? Yeah. Like.

Speaker2:
It just hit me.

Speaker1:
Like it's that same escalation. And this is such a perfect example because I just it takes having those realizations like, oh my gosh, I'm running like this and I'm running like this, and my body is having a reaction when my horse is running and nobody knows if anybody's coming back. I think he actually does slow down. But wait a minute, I can't slow down. My brain is like, what's happening? So it I love advancing horses and riders because it requires that level of awareness from the rider. So yeah,

Speaker2:
I love that. That's awesome.Exactly it. Yay yay okay I love it. Thank you, thank you.

Speaker1:
Yep.

Speaker1:
I almost want to ask you to pause the recording and take a deep breath. That talk moved fast and we covered a lot. It's even worth listening to again because as I said, there's actually a lot of different threads or thoughts that could have been followed. But for now, can you see why sticking with the idea that I'm always thinking about the next thing I have to do, or running from the thing that just got done, can you see how that is actually the main issue? So I'm about to take a sharp curve here, so hang on. Think of what Kristen was describing in this conversation. Let's think of it as an emotional state. Think of an emotion like the emotion of rushing or feeling rushed. Think of that as a vibration in your body. Can you feel it? How about now? Rush, rush! Hurry up! Hurry! Hurry! Go go go! Can you feel how the emotion has a certain vibration? There's a reason why, when we discuss things, we might say that you were feeling low or you were feeling really high. It's even common in our language to point towards this vibration. Now, I want you to think for a moment about the idea that emotions often come in groups, and if you group a bunch of similar emotions together, then they're going to create an emotional state. You might be switching between emotions, but there can be an emotional state that's caused by a group of emotions. And sometimes this is where riders get stuck because it is possible to become familiar with one emotional state.

Speaker1:
Again, think of it like a vibration frequency. It is possible to become so familiar with one state that switching to another state feels awkward. Pause for a moment and think about the last time you felt awkward. Awkward is typically a feeling that people find uncomfortable. And when you feel something uncomfortable, a lot of times it can feel like you're doing something wrong. So it makes perfect sense to me that when Kristen says that she's used to being in this go, go, go kind of a high vibration and that she's seeking a vibration that is a little different, but she's not that familiar with it. When I asked her about how often she's felt that anywhere in life and you can kind of hear the wobble between actually, I know how I can get a grounded feeling, but I really want to reach for the next level in dressage, which is also known as a challenge. Can you hear how you could look at this whole conversation on one level as a conversation about emotional states? Now here's the best news. There may be multiple emotional states that you want to be able to have. In this case, let's use the words grounded and also the experience of stretching. It is possible to experience both of those. What I most often see is that riders don't have the words to describe this, but ironically, this is actually exactly what many of us want in our horses. We want the option to be able to do the higher vibration states, the higher energy when we want it, and we want to be able to switch back to a lower vibration state to be able to rest and recover.

Speaker1:
We want to be able to ask our horses to go and have them easily go. Higher vibration state and we want them to easily stop or whoa or stand quietly. Lower vibrational state. You've all seen horses stuck in go go go. And you've all seen horses stuck in. Yeah, I'm not moving. So while it might seem logical that you want to be able to switch, it's not always easy. If you get familiar with one particular emotional state, then it feels comfortable to be there. Now the good news for Kristen is the better she gets at switching these states, the ability to go to a higher state, and the ability to come back to that lower state, that ability to to stretch and reach and go, and that ability to come back and feel grounded. The better she gets at being able to switch that state of being, the better she's going to be able to ride those transitions in her dressage test. She's going to be able to do something extended and big and then collect and recover, breathe, turn the corner and go do it again. But this doesn't just apply in show examples. This happens everywhere in life. So if we want to go to a completely different example, if you had an accident with your horse, let's just say you had an unplanned dismount last year and you recognize that the underlying emotional state you feel a lot of times is this undercurrent of feeling jumpy or suspicious or on guard.

Speaker1:
And maybe you're even aware that it's an underlying current of fear. It might seem logical that you want to be able to reach for a different state, like satisfied or content, or excited or accepting. But can you see where that's a pretty wide gap to traverse? You won't make that journey by simply changing actions alone. You must also make the connection, like Kristen did so beautifully on this call where she recognized her familiar pattern, her go go go getter, and where she recognized that she's not that familiar with the feeling that she's seeking. So even though on the surface, it seems like the ability to ask your horse to extend and do something big and then collect themselves would be a conversation that is purely about how to ride the horse more effectively. Can you see how big a role the emotional state is playing in this journey? This is the type of work that we do inside my Resourceful Rider program in the mindset, Mastery and Body Scan module. If you're interested, doors will be opening soon. If you want to be notified when that happens, make sure you go over and sign up for the waitlist. That's what I have for you this week. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.

Speaker3:
If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall.com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.

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