Episode 269_ Catalyst for Change_ 3 Steps to Shift Your Way of Being.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
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Her decision to pursue the theme changed me, and that's the power of picking a theme and going deep into it.
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Podcasting from a little cabin on a hill. This is the Stacy Westfall podcast. Stacy's goal is simple to teach you to understand why horses do what they do, as well as the action steps for creating clear, confident communication with your horses.
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Hi, I'm Stacy Westfall and I'm here to help you understand, enjoy and successfully train your own horses. And a big part of you understanding your horse is understanding yourself. Today I'm going to give you a three step process for turning your way of being goals into something actionable. Let me start with some examples of what I'm calling way of being goals. They might sound something like do what's best for my horse. Have a closer relationship with my horse, ride confidently without anxiety, understand my horse's behavior better, or enjoy showing again. Can you hear why I'm calling them? Way of being goals. The problem or the challenge with these types of goals is that they often seem hard to define and even harder to move into action, but I'm going to solve that problem for you today with a three step process for picking a yearly theme. Here's an overview of that process. Step one is think about what you're seeking to learn this year. It might sound exactly like one of the examples I just read, or it might come out of a recent journal entry that you wrote, and it's likely going to be something more about who you are or how you think or how you feel. And it's going to be not so easy to quantify. Step two will be picking a phrase or letting the phrase pick you, and you need to do this within three days. Step three is commit to touching this phrase frequently. A couple examples of that would be if you journal regularly, you could write it at the top of each page, or you could set an alarm on your phone to go off every day and train yourself to spend two minutes saying the phrase, reflecting on what the phrase means to you and how you're seeing it in your life.
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As long as it's a purposeful minute or two, it doesn't take long. But what's going to happen if you do this three step process is your mind will go to work that short reminder every day, even if it's just simply writing the words at the top of a journal will sneak into your mind. And by the end of the year, your understanding of that phrase and what it means to you will be much deeper than when you began, and you will have seen the phrase come to life throughout your year. And here are two final tips before I begin giving you examples. Tip number one make the phrase positive when you say it. And tip number two when you reflect on it, remember to reflect on the opposite of the phrase. Here's an example of a yearly theme that you might recognize. One year I chose the phrase relationship and results. If you're a long time podcast listener, or if you're a student or have attended any of my seminars, you've probably heard me talk about relationship and results. Even if you don't outwardly proclaim and explain your phrase, you'll likely start hearing yourself weave the words or the concepts into everyday conversation. Another important thing to remember is the phrase doesn't have to make sense to anyone else, it just needs to make sense to you.
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Last year, my phrase was focused intensity and I told someone my phrase and their reaction was they thought it sounded terrible. Remember, this is for you. You need to know why you chose it. I told someone my phrase and they thought it sounded terrible. Remember, this exercise is for you. I chose the phrase because I wanted to address something that I saw in myself, which was unfocused intensity, and I didn't want a phrase like, put it down and walk away. I like my intensity, but I wanted to see it expressed within boundaries. So can you hear how I chose it for the direct part of it and for the opposite? That is going to naturally happen as you begin exploring your chosen phrase. Can you hear how I used the first two steps? Number one what was I seeking to learn? I was seeking to change or learn more about my unfocused intensity. And step number two picking a phrase. I had actually picked this phrase and was using it on January 1st, and I had committed to touching it daily by writing in my journal. And that was going well until January 14th, which is when I was in a car accident and broke my dominant hand. So my plan for writing in the journal was done. So I moved to the alarm on my phone. But right when it looked like the phrase might not come to life in the way that I thought it would, it actually came to life in a completely different way.
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I've been doing this type of thinking, picking a yearly theme for over 15 years now, so the habit of using it has been instilled in me. Which is good because that phrase focused intensity is what it took to be able to get dressed. It's what it took to be able to feed myself, and it took focused intensity to record my podcasts without typing out the notes first. Little did I know when I picked my phrase that I would be using it on a daily basis with things that I never would have considered, requiring focused intensity. And because I was touching it daily, which again, is step number three, I was able to deepen my understanding of both sides of it, which were the intensity which is in the phrase and the rest, which is the opposite of the focused intensity. And that brings me to a key point in bringing these phrases to life. It's going to be your willingness to go deeper and deeper into exploring your word or your phrase. I once had a student who choose the year of patience, and I told her that makes me cringe, but she was convinced that it fit her. And I have to say at the end of it, I'm really glad she chose it because as she explored the word, we would discuss it and at first it seemed like it was coming to life more in the places where patients might be beneficial, like a horse with a soundness issue.
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But within the first month, some amazing things started to happen. And the number one that I remember was that the word or the definition and deeper meaning of the word found her. It was the craziest thing. She went to church one weekend and the pastor talked about patience and it was revealing. I'm going to ask her if she can send me a link to that video so I can put it on my website with this podcast. But here are some of the notes that I took from our conversation. Patience is not passive. It is not resignation. It is not whatever happens. It's a strong, tough resolution in the midst of adverse circumstances. It's steadfast perseverance, brave endurance, staying power, fortitude. It is iron in your soul. And that's the one that we to this day still use. When we talk to each other, we will talk about iron in your soul. Her decision to pursue the theme changed me, and that's the power of picking a theme and going deep into it. One of the keys is going to be you defining what you mean. So if you say something like, you want to be more connected or have a better connection with your horse. I'd like to challenge you to define what that means. What does it look like when it's working and you have that connection? And how do you create connectedness when things aren't working? As you explore a theme like being connected, you'll have to figure out how to address the issues like your horse asking questions and offering other ideas.
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Just like I talked about last week with Ember, when they're not seeing the pattern or the answer yet, how will you still feel connected while things are not working? The magic doesn't come from picking the phrase, it comes from the work you'll do in going deeper and deeper into understanding your own personal definition of connectedness and connectedness when things aren't working. Here are some examples of themes. These can be single words, but I personally like them a little bit better if they're written as phrases. So the first three I wrote out as the year of growth, the year of abundance, the year of decluttering mind, body, spirit so you can hear how you can take a single word and make it into a phrase. One of the reasons I like adding the year of growth is that in your mind, you actually are putting little fences around when you are going to be focusing on that. Some other phrases. Adventure awaits new beginnings. Setting foundations. Building confidence. Taking responsibility. Gaining momentum. Striving and thriving. Simplify and clarify. Cultivate joy. Imagine the results of reflecting on a phrase like adventure awaits. If you were drawn to that phrase and you thought about that phrase each day, you would begin to see how it was true in your life. Whether you headed to the barn for a regular ride, or you went out on a trail ride, or loaded up to go to a show.
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Each one of those things could be considered an adventure, and any problems that you encountered could also be considered an unknown adventure. And then the next challenge you ran into might even seem more normal because adventure involves challenges. And then if you remembered what I instructed you to do, and you open yourself up to exploring the opposite, you might actually find out that there are days you don't want adventure. You might even spend an entire month resisting and resenting that you chose that phrase. I speak from experience, and if you don't quit, this actually means it's working. That wrestling match is where you will learn the deeper meaning of your word or phrase. Oftentimes, we idealize words or phrases, and we think we want them without thinking about what they would be in the extreme. And on the other side of that struggle that you have with the word or the phrase or the concept, you might suddenly find that adventure can happen in a slow day or in tiny ways that you never would have considered before. So although you might have started your year thinking that adventure meant travel and big activity and high energy, you might end the year with a completely different perspective. Or at least I hope you do. Thanks for listening. Remember the three step process? Pick that theme within three days and email it to me. Let me hear it Stacy at Stacy Westfall.com thanks for listening and I'll talk to you again in the next episode.
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If you enjoy listening to Stacy's podcast, please visit Stacy Westfall.com for articles, videos and tips to help you and your horse succeed.
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